What follows is a completely trivial story. It's so mind-numbingly banal that I can't believe I'm trying to foist it off on other people. I'm just too sleepy to come up with something better! Oh, well! Here it is.....
I've always been influenced by things I've read. A case in point is an article I read about something called childhood amnesia. According to the author in later life your kid will forget nearly everything that happened before the age of four. Isn't that interesting?
Now maybe I was eating chicken when I read this because for me the compelling application of this idea was that I could give my two-year old the legs of the chicken rather than the breast and he'd never remember it. The cute little twerp never ate most of the food on his plate and was indifferent to chicken. I, on the other hand loved chicken, especially the breast when it was slow cooked upside-down in an oven so it retained all its natural juices. I figured I'd introduce him to chicken breasts when he was four, that way he'd believe he had them all his life. It was a silly thought, I now realize, but at the time I thought it was a revelation from heaven.
As it happened I forgot to tell him about breast meat for an extra two years. That's two extra years of juicy, to-die-for meals for his grateful dad. One night when he was six my wife cooked a particularly succulent chicken and put it hot and steaming in the middle of the table. My kid eyed the legs and licked his lips as usual. I decided to celebrate the world-class chicken by opening a special bottle of wine I'd been saving so I went out to the kitchen to get it. Little did I know that my wife was carving in my absence and gave me a leg and my son a big, heaping slab of breast meat.
When I came in I poured some wine into my wife's glass and as I did so I heard my kid say, "Hey, there's something strange about this chicken." Strange? What strange? I looked at my kid and he was thoughtfully touching his tongue to a morsel of breast meat on his fork. Inside I had a fit! "Uh, Kid,...if you don't like that I guess I can trade my leg for it." I began but he stopped me. "That's alright, Dad. It's not horrible." I could see the moist flavor bubbles on the surface of his chicken. "Really, I don't mind trading, Kid." He waved me off. "Dad it's actually (Munch!)...mmmm...actually...(Munch! Munch!) well, kind of interesting." I frantically sniffed my chicken leg as if to savor it. "Yes but legs, AH, now that's flavor!" My son: "Yes but this is not just (Munch! Dribble!)...I mean... (Drool! Munch! Dribble! Munch!)this is REALLY GOOD!" No more thoughtfull eating after that. He shoveled it in like there was no tomorrow. "It's so odd that I never realized how good chicken was before!"
From then on he got the breast and I got the leg. I just couldn't bare to withold it from somebody who likes it so much. He's in his twenties now and loves chicken breasts as much as I do. He does remember that there was a time when he didn't find chicken so appealing but he can't remember why.
I
14 comments:
QUOTE: ...something called childhood amnesia. According to the author in later life your kid will forget nearly everything that happened before the age of four.
Sounds reasonable! My Mom would always get upset when I told her I didn't remember her father, "Grandpa Oscar."
"But he lived with us, just before he died!" she would say.
Finally, I asked her, "Well, when did he die?"
"Um, 1960," she replied.
"Mom, I was born in 1958," I pointed out. "I was two years old when your father died!"
"Well, yes," she reasoned, "but you always remember everything!"
Apparently your best friend Ray Bradbury can remember being born, as well as getting circumcised. Of course, how can someone prove such a claim...and only an arrogant (yet talented) jerk like him would even suggest something like that.
You and your sick experiments on children. Greedy!
I was going to go on about how evil you are, but come to think of it.... that was probably my worst trait as a kid (if not still)!!! When ever I got the chance to one-up someone I would. Like in the second grade when I helped some other kid pass out his birthday cup cakes, I had a big plate of them that were all vanilla except for one big chocolate one. It was obvious to me who deserved it, so as I passed them out I carefully placed the chocolate one on one of the corners and kept it near me at all times as I walked around the classroom. It was a success!
We are parallel in our evil ways.
If you can't take advantage of your own child's ignorance, whose ignorance can you take advantage of? It seems to me that children were made to be tricked... at least until they get old enough to pull the ultimate trick in return and put ma and pop in the old folk's home.
Interesting post, now I want a chicken breast.
I'm 25, I wonder if my parents did something similar to me.
I remember I hated a lot of vegetables when i was a kid, but at a point I decided to be honest and face the truth: I wouldn't eat that stuff out of spite. I had made such a big deal of hating them that it was hard to admit they were not that bad. Today I eat pretty much any vegetable. I still don't find them good, but at least they're tolerable.
Anyway, you didn't do anything wrong to your kid unless you use this trick to make him dislike something good. Hey, I wonder if there's a way to change children's musical tastes? I have a little cousin who loves some awfully crappy music. I must save her!
That was funny, Uncle Eddie!! Thank you!
Thats so hillarious!! I laughed out loud in class! You made me hungry for some chicken too!
Hi Uncle Eddie
When I saw that title, for a second there I was about to say "way hey".
Yes, chicken breasts are very good. However, I've always preferred the chicken legs, so I'll eat them if you won't.
Regarding your previous post with all the "censored" labels on the pics...I'm not sure about the picture with you and the gentlemen in the car. That censored label is placed in a very colorful place, and it leaves a lot to the imagination....
I always thought the hippocampus was developed at two years of age, not four. (However, I suffer from adulthood amnesia and my figure is probably incorrect.)
I hope this experience brought forth additional insight. Legs can be better than breasts.
Nick, Extra: I'll bet you guys read the recent Bradbury biography! I thought it was really interesting. The second installment of Simon Callow's biography of Orson Welles is out. There's also a new biography of Peter lorre out there but I don't recommend it.
Jennifer: LOL! You should read yesterday's comment by Mike Fontanelli.
At least I got chicken.
Is that boy with the chicken drumstick your son?
Anonymous: My son? Naw, that's somebody else's kid.
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