Get ready for a really creepy set of pictures. These are similar to the pictures I gathered twenty years ago when I was deeply depressed because I couldn't find work. I didn't really believe in luck, but somehow I got it into my mind that my luck had turned bad, that I was a cork on the waves of fate, that I was drowning with no rock to grab hold of. It's not a pleasant memory. Maybe I was flirting with a nervous breakdown and didn't know it.
Anyway, for a few miserable days I found solace in gathering together pictures on the theme of luck, and luck gone bad. I threw in a few disaster pictures too. I had the crazy idea that by hanging them on my bedroom wall, I'd derive some kind of wisdom from them. Fortunately I had the sense to realize that doing that would spook my family, so the walls were spared.
Actually the idea might not have been as crazy as it sounds. I've frequently been jolted out of depression by pushing whatever downer ideas I had to such an extreme that they seemed outrageous and even funny.
Images like these (above) from Hitchcock's "Spellbound" fit into that category. They're serious and scary, but somehow funny at the same time.
At first I confined myself to images of luck, good and bad, then I branched out to weirder stuff.
I've never been interested in tarot cards, but in my addled state I began to wonder if there was something about them I should investigate.
Like so many people before me, I marveled at the simple directness of the "death" card. Kelly says death might only mean the end of something, and might be a positive sign, but in my ignorance I interpreted it as literal death. No, I wasn't suicidal. When you're a family guy that avenue is closed.
I thumbed through Dore's depictions of Dante's "Inferno."
The idea of seemingly bottomless pits leading to a netherworld seems appealing when you're depressed.
I remembered Poe's story about a maelstrom which began with a description of a black sea hidden away from the world.
A storm at sea is the ultimate metaphor for turbulent thoughts.
Here's an oceanic vortex. Adventure stories I read when I was a kid frequently mentioned vortices and I got the idea that they were a frequent occurrence. "Moby Dick" contained a frightening description of one.
Anyway, you might be curious to know how I got out of this depression. Well one day, after months of shopping my portfolio all around town and being turned down, I actually succeeded in getting work. The moment I shook hands with my new employer every one of those weird thoughts flew out of my head, and never really returned. It's amazing how work can improve your mental health, almost overnight.
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Years later, I read Knut Hamsun's novel "Hunger," which may be the ultimate story about going nuts from lack of work. I won't reveal the unforgettable ending, but I can recommend the story to people who feel they're at the end of their tether.
I hope I didn't depress anybody with this stuff. It had a happy ending after all.
27 comments:
What are you saying Unca Eddie? Yikes and Gulp.
I wish there was a way for creative freelancers to monetize something like blogging or podcasting, rather than just being a bastion of good will and ombudsman for industries that are not always kind.
One problem may be having a foot in old media, an actual lucrative living at certain times, while seeing new outlets sort of being propped up by the attention of "the internets is free!", and, the sometimes resulting conflicts of interest, rather than symbiosis that might occur.
Its not the maelstrom that is creepy, it is what is imagined on the other side. and you are pretty damn talented at seeing the sunny side.
Didn't depress me to read it. I totally "get" the appeal of morbid imagery when you're in a funk due to bad events in your life.
I love the Inferno images. Lovely.
Well, me and depression are close friends and it's something that I've had to accept as part of my life but I don't think I've tried embracing depressing imagery as a therapy. I usually go for my old Sesame Street songs album. 'C is for Cookie' and 'Fuzzy and Blue' should be prescribed by docs worldwide for the condition. They're a quick fix but I'd say they'd have a higher success rate than lexapro and far fewer side effects.
Thanks for sharing, Eddie. Most interesting. I second your recommendation of Hamsun's Hunger. What an intensely vivid book.
A vortex in Moby Dick? Ahab does mention the Norway Maelstrom, but the Pequod I think never goes near one. You must be thinking of the encounter in Twenty Thousand Leagues Beneath the Sea. I thrilled to it as a lad, having been young before we all stopped reading books by dead people.
the death card in tarot (which is different from the ten of swords, pictured) doesn't necessarily mean DEATH as in, you will die. Death card can mean the end of a way of life, a career, a relationship. But after death comes rebirth and new approaches to life. The Ten of swords is similar . . . you have suffered so much, you have had ten swords thrust into your body . . . how much worse off can you get? Drawing the death and ten swords cards can be taken as a sign of hope, that things are as bad as they could possibly be . . . so cheer up, it can only get better from here!
Kelly: Many thanks for the correction! I changed the post a little to reflect what you said, but I didn't mention the swords card as being distinct from the death card because doing that would have buggered up the rhythm of the sentense.
Lester: Thanks for the corrections! Maybe you're right about Moby Dick. I was thinking of the magical passage where the activities of whales at different depths was revealed to the watcher. It was a long time ago when I read it. Maybe I imagined a whirlpool to make the unlikely vision more plausible.
Anon: I just thought of a novel way to make money from a blog like this, and if I don't wimp out, I'll try it. I'd never charge money for the blog itself.
1.)Interesting choice of images, a lot of is cited in many books on lucid dream interpretation.
a.)Green tornadoes, waterspouts, maelstroms indicates either a wish for or a fear of violent upheaval in your life.
b.)Roulette wheels, tarot decks, dice represent uncertainty about the future and change.
c.)Water imagery and storms is about confrontation and overcoming fear
d.)The prospector is about confidence in one's abilities, a willingness to embrace the unknown, assuredness of outcome.
e.)The final picture of the tropical isle, palm tree, beach, I am guessing is a positive one (I can be wrong) and is an excellent image of depicting a goal one is shooting for or attaining. Despite previous harrowing depictions and eery auras of uncertainty and calamity, there is an air of calm, tranquility, attainment, happiness (unless you're quietly indicating where on the beach the man trapped in the casket is buried and we have eight minutes to dig him out - aaauuuggghhh!).
2.)The Dali scenes and lithographs from Dante are merely fantastic imagery, but are interesting for contemplating and dwelling upon one's own demons, harbingers, or forebodings. Some may prefer gazing into a shiny silver bowl filled with water, a technique preferred by Michel de Nostredame, not for ascertaining or divining his prophesies, but to calm his mind, bring about tranquility and order and reason, after a harrowing time of treating plague sufferers and other infirmities.
3.)The kitties are very pretty!
The imagery is attractive though. I like natures melodrama prettied up by talented human filtering.
Last: I love dream interpretation books, but they're kind of scarce now.
If you're in the market for dream interpretation books, try here.
Nice selection.
Earlier was able to immensely enjoy JMW Turner collection on display at Dallas Museum of Art (such an opportunity), astoundingly beautiful seascapes, even his watercolor sketches are amazing. The predecessor of Impressionism
Hey Eddie, you should do a video post of you drawing. I'd like to see how you sketch and such.
Well, Eddie, what did you think about Bruce Bickford?
Phantom: Sorry, I watched the YouTube films you mentioned but forgot to write about it here. Anyway, you're right, Bickford is great! Thanks for bringing him up! I can only take him in small doses, like in a rock video, but he's incredibly creative and deserves a wider audience. Much credit to Zappa for discovering him.
Last: I'd want to thumb through the books before buying. The pearl of greatest price would be one written in the Freudian era when the subject was treated with great seriousness.
I wonder if Linda Goodman wrote about it? Her mixture of catty gossip with astrology was a revolution in astrology writing.
Freud's own book on the subject is common in used book stores, but it's not as fun to read as the books that digested his ideas.
Anon: I will do something like that.
Hi Eddie,That is;being unemployed sometimes produces depression.That remember me what is called the shortest tale written by Augusto Monterroso (Guatemaltecan): "When he woke up, the dinosaur was still there."
You're a happy goth, Eddie!
- trevor.
I went through a similar period. Back in the late '90's I tried to get a comic strip published. (An example of it can be found on my blog somewhere). I managed to get it into 4 publications for a short while. But, mostly I just got rejection letters or no response at all. I didn't get obsessed with macabre images like you, Eddie. My comic just started to reflect my frustration by becoming more violent and mean-spirited. I'd probably still be trying to publish that thing today if I hadn't enrolled in animation school.
Oh well. I'm working in the animation industry now. Things could always be better but all in all I'm doing fine.
Glad you enjoyed Bickford's stuff, Eddie! You must've seen his video for "City of Tiny Lights". That's one of the best pieces he's ever done, next to Prometheus' Garden.
I can't think of any other artists to recommend, but do you think you could suggest a few somewhat obscure artists to me?
Great post, by the way!
Phantom: I can't think of anyone I or John or Steve haven't mentioned, but if I do then I'll do a post on it.
I never tried creepy image therapy to cure depression. The only thing that works for me is lots of aerobic exercise and fresh citrus.
Depression for me has never been something I can reason my way out of. I think the exercise just reminds me in a visceral way that as long as I'm healthy I can turn my life into anything I want.
So next time you're feeling down lace up your running shoes and run to the market for some grapefruit. I think it's way more effective for curing depression than art... even good art.
Oh yeah and Bruce Bickford is great! I discovered him 2 years ago. My favorite piece by him is the animation he did for 'I'm So Cute' on Frank Zappa's movie Baby Snakes.
Whoa! These are intense photos. I especially love the tornado and inferno.
Black cats have always been lucky for me. I miss my Rael-cat. World's coolest kitteh, ever. Jiji-san from Kiki's Delivery Service reminds me of him both in temperament and appearance. Meow.
I love agatha christie books... and my favorite detective is hercule poirot... sir peter ustinov played him extraordinary great...
You're posts are always great! Although I am out of work now also (and I think I saw myself in one of those depressing pieces) this is as close to the water cooler as I get now.
Depression is one of my lifelong friends and enemies. It helps me come up with incredibly sarcastic drawings. Especially with the upcoming election....too much fodder!!
Yes, I love Maira Kalman. Brilliant illustrator.
I realise that I am uber late to this party, but Eddie, are you familiar with the work of Watson? He had very brooding atmospheric style. I believe that he was a favorite of Vincent Price's. (Sorry, I cannot recall his first name.)
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