THEORY CORNER STORE DEBUT (PART 1)

EXT. CENTURY CITY CIVIC AUDITORIUM: On the crowd outside.

UNCLE EDDIE (V.O.): "Hi folks! This is Uncle Eddie, here to host the opening ceremonies for the much-anticipated, much talked about THEORY CORNER STORE!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Can you believe this turn-out? Maybe that's because so many celebrities are are on the red carpet tonight. The place is crawling with them...all the stars of Theory Corner's Photo stories."


UNCLE EDDIE: "I think I see one now!"



UNCLE EDDIE: "Gasp!!! It's too good to be true!!!!"



ROMANCE READER: "Hi Uncle Eddie! Hi everybody!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Romance Reader!"



UNCLE EDDIE: "Miss Reader, you've read more romance books than just about anybody. Can you tell our audience which was your favorite?"

ROMANCE READER: "My favorite? Well, let's see...hmmmm."

ROMANCE READER: "It would have to be this one: 'Passion's Passionate Fire' by Rebbecca Brandythistle!" It's got a powerful love story, and it's kinda spicy, too...if you know what I mean. This is a book that everyone would love!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Wow! The world's foremost romance novel chosen by the world's foremost reader!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Bye, Miss Reader! Enjoy the opening!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Gasp!" It's my hero, Cowboy Bob!"

COWBOY BOB: "Howdy Uncle Eddie! Howdy folks!"

COWBOY BOB: "Uncle Eddie, I hate to disagree with that lovely lady who was just here, but I gotta be honest with ya; real cowboys don't read romances. I been on the range for twenty years, and I ain't seen one yet."



COWBOY BOB: "What we do do, is drink lots of milk and always do what our mother tells us to do. You young buckaroos do that, and maybe you'll ride the purple sage with old Cowboy Bob someday."

COWBOY BOB: "Gotta go inside, Uncle Eddie! See ya later!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "See you, Bob! Thanks for stopping by!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Let's see...who else is out there???"

THE EX-GIRLFRIEND: "You haven't seen any goofy-looking ex-boyfriends have you?"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Huh!?"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Whoa, wait a minute! I know that face!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "You're The Ex-girlfriend, aren't you? The girl who's always hiding out from ex-boyfriends! I read your photo story on Theory Corner!"

EX-GIRLFRIEND: "Shhhh! What are you talking so loud for? My stupid ex-boyfriends are all over the place, and they're such pests!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Well, gee...there's only me and a few friends. Nobody's going to know you're here. Can't you spare us just a minute?"

UNCLE EDDIE (V.O.): "I mean, how would they know? Maybe your boyfriends aren't even here."

UNCLE EDDIE (V.O.): "It's so intimate here."

UNCLE EDDIE (V.O.): "There's a fountain over there. Maybe we could do the interview there."

EX-GIRLFRIEND: "Nope, gotta go! See you inside...or not!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Uh...Okay...bye, Miss Ex!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Uh oh! Hear that!? It's time to go. The opening's starting inside!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "I have to tell you, my knees are buckling with excitement! Theory Corner promised a lot here! Can the store live up to that promise? We're about to find out! I hear applause. That means the curtain's going up...."

UNCLE EDDIE (V.O.): ".....GOOD LUCK, THEORY CORNER STORE!!!!!!!!!!"

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NOTE TO READERS: The store won't appear til the next post. It'll debut right here on Theory Corner, so you're on the right URL to see it. And don't worry, Theory Corner is still about articles and theories.