Tuesday, October 16, 2007

YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BE SUPERMAN!

Being Superman means you can't trust your own friends! Here's Jimmy wearing his "Helmet of Hate" again.


Everybody's envious! You can't even trust your own parents!


Superman once had an affair with a fish woman and they had kids together. Knowing that society would frown on such things he moved his fish family to an asteroid. That should have been the end of it but his pesky girlfriend, Lois Lane, found out about it.



There's always some other super hero trying to muscle in.



Boy, that Lois is a real player!


When you fly people are always trying to shoot you down with fruit juice weapons.



Fortunately Superman's friend Jimmy, who gets coffee for people during the day, performs brain surgery at night.


Superman doesn't always share the tastes of his friends...

...particularly Robin.

No, Superman's a normal guy. It's amazing that even Superman doesn't score every time.


All these pictures were stolen from a terrific site: http://www.superdickery.com/


27 comments:

Joel Bryan said...

Superman's got a tough job, that's for sure. I'd still arm wrestle him for it... and win.

Joel Bryan said...

Oh... and I definitely need to borrow Superman's pick up line from that last panel the next time I'm out "bird doggin' the ladies" or whatever the kids call it these days. Perfection indeed!

William said...

HAHAHAHAH These are fantastically hilarious! I haven't seen this in some time. As for that Captain Marvel one- that is probably the most impressive phallic object I have seen in the last 48 minutes. At least.

PCUnfunny said...

LOL ! Eddie, Did you find the "Joker Boner" thing yet ?

Kali Fontecchio said...

This is a real eye-opener, Eddie. I hope no kids are reading this or their hearts will break! (Actually, I wonder if any kids today would even want to be Superman....?)

Paul B said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

SUPERLOOSERRR!!!

Mitch K said...

Haha Wow, those are completely ridiculous. Thanksss. =)

Jenny said...

Superman covers were the absolute best!

The only caveat I have is that when I was in 4th grade (and for some happy months addicted to Superman comics from the drugstore) I was dismayed at how the insane cover situations...never quite happened in the, uh, actual story. Oh well! The hooks always got me. Duped again.

Marc Deckter said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Liking the Dick Sprang, not so much the Curt Swan.

Heh heh, Dick Sprang.

Lester Hunt said...

Ah, this brings back memories of sitting behind the paperback rack in the drugstore, where the cashier couldn't see us, reading as many comics as we could before getting caught and thrown out. Batman was always my favorite. His apparent struggles with clinical depression made him seem so human. The original film noir comic.

Vincent Waller said...

That was a lovely jaunt through the world of a super hero.
thanks Eddie

Anonymous said...

Speaking of the drugstores that used to sell comics, what happened to all the Rexalls? They're gone from the face of the earth. Must've happened one night when I wasn't looking.

John A said...

Batman and Robin are SOOOO gay...

Steve Schnier said...

Yeah, that Captain Marvel "Engine of Doom" is kind of Freudian in a Freudian kind of way. Where's Dr. Wertham when we need him?

Ken Mitchroney said...

Hilarious Eddie,Thanks. All you need now is a copy of Marvel's " Giant size Man Thing" and this post is complete.

Brilliantpants said...

Superman is a total patsy, Batman is where it's at!

pappy d said...

I love that site! Have you seen Scott Shaw's?

http://www.oddballcomics.com/

You need to hit the "read more" link to display the cover art.

If I were Superman, I'd get some new friends. Imagine starting a publication about your "pal" with your own name on the front cover. How about subjecting your boyfriend to humiliation by burnt-out writers who are already guilty of inventing every color of kryptonite that you can print on pulp stock.

Jennifer said...

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

These are some of the CAMPEST comics I've seen, especially the ones featuring Batman and Robin.

Pete Emslie said...

I'm really starting to wonder about Batman. Is he really lined up to get a kiss from Lois, or is he trying to entice Aquaman back to the Batcave?

Anonymous said...

Leave it to the MAN OF STEEL to figure a way to eliminate sexual frustration from the classic mermaid scenario. How he got a finned offspring that didn't fly or see through people's underwear is another great question for science.

Matty M said...

Bwaaa-Hahaha!!! Super Man is leading a double life and Batman and Robin are out of the closet!!! Seriously, is this real? Superman has a mermaid wife and kid he hides on an asteroid? Seriously? Actually? I'm in disbelief. Ya think ya know a guy. And the league of justice? Those guys look like a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen! Does the league of Justice have a Human Resources Department... cuz H.R. needs to do a harassment seminar for the office. H.R. says, "This is good touch... This is bad touch." Is this the new normal? Fantastic post Eddie... I laughed out loud. Thank you.

I.D.R.C. said...

How do you cook with X-rays?

Why does Superman's Mermaid wife call him Superman? Isn't that his last name? Shouldn't she call him Bob? If they had a fish kid, isn't she a mer-madam? How does the super telescope get audio? Why does the fish-part have human bone structure? Why is Lois wearing a spring outfit in January?

It's clear that Superman has no external genitalia so I'm not surprised to learn that he can mate with a fish.

Lee-Roy said...

the one with the fruit juice weapon is truly laugh out loud funny!

John A said...

"...and this coil spring and flashlight I smuggled into my cell"


I'm not even going to ask,
Lex, I'm not even going to ask...

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Pappy: Thanks for reminding me of Scott's site. I'll check it out!

Jenny: I like the way comic covers used to promise more than the story delivered. It's dishonest but then again, it's part of the fun when you're aware of the trick.

NateBear said...

OH! MAN! Whnei first discoveried super-dickery it made me laugh for hours on end. Got me through a rough time.