DEEP SPACE -- ON A SPEEDING ROCKETSHIP
JOOR-EL (VO): "Wake up, kid! Wake up!"
INT. ROCKET: ON THE SLEEPING BABY THE WORLD WILL SOMEDAY RECOGNIZE AS "SOOPERMAN."
JOOR-EL (VO): "You've gotta wake up! We have to hurry!"
SFX: Tap! Tap!...TAP! TAP! TAP!
JOOR-EL: "C'mon, little baby. Open your eyes!"
JOOR-EL: "It's your dad, Joor-el!"
JOOR-EL: "Listen, we gotta talk! We don't have much time! If you're hearing this, it means you're almost at your destination!"
BABY: Wakes, then (happy cooing).
JOOR-EL: "There you are, ya cute little thing, ya! Okay, brace yourself, this isn't going to be pretty! What you're seeing is a video. By the time you see this, the real me'll be hamburger."
JOOR-EL: "While you were asleep, Kryptoon began to break apart. In a minute or two the whole planet's going to explode, killing everybody."
JOOR-EL: "The worst thing is, people are blaming me for it!"
JOOR-EL: "Okay, I invented the planet burster with a big lever that stuck out the window...but I put a big note on it that said 'Don't Touch!' How was I supposed to know that someone who couldn't read would come along!?
JOOR-EL: "Anyway, I just put you in a rocket ship that'll take you to a place called Earth. Don't worry, you'll like Earth. The people there look just like us!
JOOR-EL: "Well, ahem!....not JUST like us....we are an exceptionally handsome race...."
SFX/EFX: (Loud rumbling and big shakes as the planet breaks apart).
JOOR-EL: "I've gotta talk fast! Listen! Earth's gravity is weaker than Kryptoon's! You'll have super powers there!"
JOOR-EL (VO): "Believe me, nobody's gonna take your lunch money if you don't want them to!"
JOOR-EL (VO): "And I threw in your dog. He'll have super powers, too! Remember to walk him every day, and don't ever get him mad!"
JOOR-EL (VO): "And a secret identity...You'll need to disguise yourself most of the time, otherwise pests'll always be begging favors!"
JOOR-EL: "Yeah, it's a gonna be a bit of a hassle..."
JOOR-EL: "....but, hey, there's a sunny side...."
JOOR-EL: "....heh, heh....think of all the GIRLS you're gonna get!" Muscles and a foreign accent...they'll eat it up!"
JOOR-EL (VO): "And X-Ray vision! Wait'll you see how handy THAT is!!!"
JOOR-EL: "One day it's not out of the question that you'll meet an Earth girl and have a family of your own."
JOOR-EL (VO): "Maybe she'll be somebody with muscles just like yours!"
BABY: (Cries)
SFX/EFX: (More rumbling and quakes: we're only seconds away from the end)
JOOR-EL: "Uh-Oh!"
JOOR-EL: "This is it! Kryptoon is breaking up! It's the final act! The Big Burrito! The Enchilada Grande!
JOOR-EL: "See ya kid! I planned it so you'll land soft as a feather in a park across the street from a nice old couple! They'll raise you up right! You'll get a good start!"
SFX/EFX (Ceiling collapses, then big explosion).
JOOR-EL: (A cry of anguish as he's buried under the rubble).
ON THE EARTH AS SEEN FROM SPACE: The baby's rocket rotates and retro fires.
The ship speeds through the atmosphere.
ON THE GROUND:
MA KANT: "Do you hear that, Pa!? You're going to think I'm silly, but I desperately hope it's an aircraft bearing the son we've always wanted...a son we could bring up to be a decent and responsible citizen."
PA KANT: "You're not silly at all, Ma. That's my dream, too. If only it would land gently and safely in that park across the street."
BAM!!!!!!!!!!!
SHOCKED PASSER-BY: "Holy Mackerel! What happened!?"
RESCUER: "Something fell out of the sky right on top of that nice old couple! Wait a minute! I hear a baby!"
Superman doesn't always share the tastes of his friends...
...particularly Robin.
No, Superman's a normal guy. It's amazing that even Superman doesn't score every time.