Sunday, July 12, 2009

A STREETCAR NAMED DEZYRE





STUNLEY: "STALLA! STALL-LAHHHHHH!!!!!"



STUNLEY: "Where's the scissors!? I'll bet your hoity-toity sister Blunche has them!"



STALLA: "Here, Dear. They're right here on the table where you left them.



STUNLEY: "Oh.....well anyway, your sister's always runnin' me down...sayin' I'm stupid and stuff. Well, I ain't stupid!"



AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!


STUNLEY: "Slut! It's YOUR fault!"






STUNLEY (VO): "Oh, I'm sorry, Stalla. Come 'ere, Baby...Daddy'll kiss it and make it better!"

Blunche re-acts.


STELLA (VO): "Here I am, Daddy! Mommy needs those kisses! (Sloppy kisses and groans)."



STALLA (VO): "Careful, Stunley! Blunche is here, remember?"



STUNLEY: "Oh, right...stupid old Blunche is here! Hmmmm...."



STUNLEY: "Hey, a man gets hungry and there's nothin' around ta eat!"



STUNLEY: "STAAAAALLLAAAA!!!!!!"



STUNLEY: The refrigerator's all the way across the room! How am I gonna get my celerey!?"



STALLA: "Here, Dear. Celerey. Right here."



STUNLEY: "Huh? Celerey? Oh, thanks."



STUNLEY: "Yessir, when you're really hungry, there's nothing like a good...."



STUNLEY: "AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!"



STUNLEY: "Ooooh, my eye!!!!!"



STUNLEY: "Slut! It's your fault again!"






STUNLEY (VO): "Oh, did I do that? Come over here, I want my baby over here!"

Blunche re-acts.


STALLA (VO): "Daddy was mean to his Poopsey-Woopsey!"



STUNLEY (VO): "Never again, Poopsey! Two lips'll fix it!"



STALLA (VO): "Careful, Stunley! Blunche is still here, remember?"



STANLEY (VO): "Oh, right...Blunche."



STUNLEY: (Sniff! Sniff!).



STUNLEY: (Blows nose).



STALLAH: "Sigh! That's my man!"



STUNLEY (VO): "Stalla, quick, get my shotgun! There's a fly on the ceiling!"


20 comments:

Anonymous said...

this blog is like private treasure

Niki said...

STUNLEY: The refrigerator's all the way across the room! How am I gonna get my celerey!?"

Right there! your hand is huge! it has a life of it's own and is soon bound to eat that page on which you reside!

Adam T said...

Nice spoof.

I remember being about 17 when I saw the movie for the first time and I couldn't relate to the movie at all. I remember thinking that all the characters were just crazy. A couple of years and girlfriends later I watched it again and I was amazed at how realistic the characters actually are.

This is just my theory but I think Tennessee Williams wrote each character as an archetype of the different roles people play at some point in a sexual relationship. You start out any relationship like a normal sensible person. Then you start having sex and if you do it enough this animal part of your brain takes over and you become to some extent either a Stanley or a Stella and sometimes you phase in and out of each. You're no longer logical about 3 months in. The primitive reptilian part of your brain starts steering the ship and either you accept this or you cling to a romantic fantasy Blanche style and this will make both people crazy.

If I ever have a kid and I have to give them the birds and the bees talk I think I'll give them the anatomy lesson first, then I'll make them watch some sappy romantic comedy. Once it's over I'll tell them to forget all of it then I'll make them watch 'A Streetcar Named Desire'. Then a little Q and A and he'll be at the place I was when I turned 23.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Anon: (Blush!) Thanks!

Niki: Isight makes big hands easy!

Adam: A very interesting analysis! When I get home from work I'll try to answer this!

Trevor Thompson said...

All of your photo bits are hysterical, Eddie, especially this one! I think I once saw an all nude review with a dancer named Dezyre. Unrelated I would imagine?

I should also say, unrelated, that I recently looked at The Real Ghostbusters DVD and guys like Kevin Altieri, Dan Riba, Brad Rader and Gabi Payn had a lot of nice and complimentary things to say about you, especially during the commentary for the pilot.

How come you weren't involved with the DVD? Were you contacted about it? It would've been nice to see you in the supplemental stuff.

- trevor.

Jorge Garrido said...

I laughed out loud several times! Nice photography!

Lester Hunt said...

Ah, gritty realism -- my favorite aestetic. Not!

Trevor Thompson said...

Ya know, it's funny because this is exactly how I remember 'Streetcar' and one of the reasons I remember not enjoying it.

This is better than the Cliff's Notes version any day. Every bit as accurate, but it editorializes in a very funny way.

Again, kudos man!

- trevor.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Adam: Interesting! For me Williams is saying that our instinctive attraction to things barbarian will always undermine our attempt at civilization.

The use of Brando is inspired casting. Brando brings humor to the role. Tennessee Williams doesn't work without this element. I've often wondered if Williams was inspired to write most of his major roles for Brando.

Anonymous said...

If it weren't for the limitation that you absolutely must play every part yourself, this little playlet would be great with the surviving Jackson family's upcoming Cash on the Barrelhead Memorial Tour.

Anonymous said...

You need a life.

mike f. said...

Heh heh! I hope there's a part II; I can't wait to see your Karl Malden makeup...

(BTW - you gotta cut the sleeves off yer t-shirt, Eddie. Kowalski wore traditional "wifebeaters".)

Jenny Lerew said...

"The use of Brando is inspired casting. Brando brings humor to the role. "

Huh. And I thought Marlon brought sex to the role.

But he is funny. My girlfriends and I were loving (and laughing with) this play since high school. In fact, they staged an excellent production of it at Loyola High here in L.A.. Can you believe that--Streetcar at a Catholic boys' school? Was I around the coolest religious(n.) or what? Tell that one to Otsuki! ; )

David Germain said...

"Stunley" should have said something about how there follow the "Neopolitan" code in "Nude Old Beans" or whatever.

Great story.

Jorge Garrido said...

Do Glengarry Glen Ross next! Wait, no, do Oleanna!

"My business is to be a cartoonist. Your business is to be an asshole. Fuck the lot of you."

Niki said...

ya know Brando can kill a man from 500 feet just by looking at the unfortunate bastard.

pappy d said...

'You know what I say?

HA!HA!

Didja' hear me?

HA! HA! HA!

This is priceless, Eddie.

Chip Butty said...

Laughing really hard at this. Stanley Kowalski is one of the all time great lummoxes.

Chip Butty said...

Hey waitaminit, KOWALSKI....*light bulb*!

callie! said...

mm, nothing like celery--D'OAWW!!!! Right in the eye!

This is adorable! I like how Stella has to slap herself as she's being played by the same person.

I remember reading the script early in high school and being disturbed by it. The movie was also pretty dark, but Marlon Brando has this sleazy voice/hibernating animal appearance that makes it sort of silly.