JIMNEY STEWBALL: "Hi, Mr. Potter. Did you want to see me about something?"
MR. POTTER: "About something? Why heavens no, boy! Do two friends who've known each other as long as we have, need an excuse to talk? Have a seat! Take a load off your feet!"
MR. POTTER (V.O.): "...and my other brother, Samuel. My brothers and I are partners in the company."
JIMNEY STEWBALL: " 'Pleasure ta meet cha'."
JIMNEY STEWBALL: "Look, Mr. Potter....If you have something to say I think it's best just to spit it out."
MR. POTTER: "Spit it out? You do have a way of getting to the point, don't you Jimney? Okay, let's see what we have here."
MR. POTTER: "It says that you've acquired debts that led you to borrow from your own Savings and Loan!"
SAMUEL: "Let's be frank, Mr. Stewball. You have a narcissistic wife who requires enormous quantities of fancy clothing every month, do you not?"
EBENEEZER: "And a senile mother-n-law who's always being fined for running around the neighborhood naked?"
MR. POTTER: "(Sniff!) I sympathize with you. I know you're honest. It says here that you've paid back most of the money already."
MR. POTTER (CONT): "Even so, as a stockholder I could have you arrested. Not that I would, of course."
JIMNEY STEWBALL: "Some of them had trouble meeting the payments, and I took up the slack with my own money. That meant I had to borrow to pay for all the fancy dresses and nudist fines."
MR. POTTER: "I know, I know. You don't have to explain anything to me, Jimney. Just sign this bill of sale and your debts will be a thing of the past. Of course I'll foreclose on all those dirty clients of yours who work with their hands, but what do you care?"
JIMNEY STEWBALL: "Doggone it, Mr. Potter! Ya sit there in your fancy chair, and ya think you're better than everybody else. Well, you're not!"
MR. POTTER: "Calm down, Jimney! Calm down! You haven't heard the rest of the offer! We'll take care of your family for you."
JIMNEY STEWBALL: "My family?"
SAMUEL: "Yes, your wife and mother-in-law would be removed to an impossibly remote cannibal island. Everyone runs around naked there, so your mother-in-law wouldn't mind."
EBENEEZER: "The first foreigner they've ever seen. She'll be worshipped as a god. It's every narcissist's dream."
JIMNEY STEWBALL: "Yeah...yeah, it is kind of, isn't it?"
All the parts in this parody played by me, Eddie fitzgerald. I just wanted to see if I could play old man parts.