Sunday, January 22, 2012


Most female expressions are the same as men's (above). Nothing mysterious here, just the same expressions of joy and sadness that men have, only on a smoother, sexier, more easy to read surface.

But hold on...there's some expressions that don't get on charts like this. We all know that some expressions are unique to women, so unique in fact, that men have difficulty understanding them. Let's take a look at a few.........

 Okay, this expression for example....what the heck does it mean? My best guess is that it's saying, "I don't know whether I'm attracted to you or not, but here's a low intensity sexy look to keep you interested while I make up my mind."

Or this one (above). Is that a neutral expression? Is she irritated? Is she murderous? Is she daydreaming? She doesn't seem ecstatically happy, but that's about the best I can say.

What is this woman (above) saying? I feel silly for asking since she's obviously striking a model's pose and not trying to convey a real emotion...yet there is something else going on there, I just can't figure it out.

 Here's a girl (above) who's shocked by something unpleasant that she's just seen. The basic emotion is easy to read...what makes it noteworthy is that a secondary emotion seems seems to be overlayed on it. Taken all together she seems to be saying, "Oh, my God! My neighbor's been chopped up with an axe...and, er... doesn't my horrified expression look pretty?"

Man, you gotta feel sorry for women. They're what Norman Mailer called "prisoners of sex." They're doomed to be constant spectators on their own exterior lives. It's nice to be a guy, where you can tune out that self-awareness sometimes, and just relax.

How about this picture of a friend taken when she was a teenager? It's charming and doubly interesting when you realize that no man except Robert Pattinson would ever strike a pose like that. It's a girl thing. There's nothing wrong with that; actually I like the idea that girls have their own expressions. It's just interesting that expressions can be gender specific.

By the way, some girls have their own dialects too. In the late twenties and early thirties it was what we would call today, "Telephone Operator." Today it's "Valley Girl." Girls have their own textiles, color palettes, glasses, bottled water, cigarettes, recipes, candy, philosophy, books, cable channels, movies...even their own pencils and pens.....even their own science. It's a different culture.


Roberto Severino said...

I've seen all of these expressions before from high school girls I know personally on Facebook. I really like how exotic and mysterious some of these are. Why is it harder for a guy like me to accomplish making those kinds of expressions? Maybe our masculinity is much more prevalent in our facial expressions or some weird scientific, biological reason.

Never thought about majoring in European history, but I will definitely try changing my major so I can possibly do both, since art schools are a pretentious, expensive joke now, which is why I've avoided applying to those now. I love learning about history so I should be fine in either one. Getting very close into getting accepted into a few in the next few weeks (as long as I push my mild autism, all the stuff I've overcome despite it, and retake some placement tests like the SATs, I should be fine. Very good at writing convincing essays and my grades overall have been really strong, mostly high As and Bs). Sorry if I'm annoying you with this stuff, but I just want a decent paying job one day, despite the risk of getting into massive debt.

Taber said...

I think girls avoid scrunching up their noses for the most part, so it's really cute when one of them does it.

Pete Emslie said...

I've noticed more and more young women speak in that "Valley Girl" dialect, as you so aptly describe it: Short staccato fragments of sentences delivered in a flat, nasally monotone, with the last word raising in pitch making every utterance sound like it's in the form of a question. Ugh! Whatever happened to the natural highs and lows of young women's speech patterns, that always sounded so musical to the ears?

martinus said...

I'm somewhat interested in the notion of women being as Norman Mailer puts it, "Prisoners of sex".
A lot of female comedians that I like often complain about the fact that they often have to deal with men saying that women aren't really funny, but that they fund them (The comedians I'm referring to)funny.
I have my own theory for this. Firstly I certainly would never say that women are less funny than men, and in my experience I find it to be about 50/50.
What I will say, is that I don't find many women COMEDIANS funny.
I think this has to do with lots of female comedian's sexuality. Often they try to be sexy along with trying to be funny. If it just naturally occurs, that's fine, but I just don't really think the two mix. Things that are funny are usually ridiculous, and although sex itself can be pretty ridiculous and comical, the notion of sexiness, just isn't.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Pete: That's the best description of the musical quality of that accent that I've ever heard.

I wonder where the Valley Girl dialect came from? Well, the San Fernando Valley, of course...but where did the Valley get it? How did it start?

Martinus: Interesting. I always thought blonde bomshells were funny, in the sense that just being a breathless, busomy bombshell is funny.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Roberto: I'd have thought that mild autism might be an asset in an academic environment.

The Aardvark said...

The girl drinking a soda: her expression is because she is drinking "PSI" cola, and is concentrating on making the photographer's head explode.

I've only seen that expression twice....