POOR MAN'S CHRISTMAS TREE

Some Christmas trees are...there's no other word for it...*g l o r i o u s*. Everybody should have a tree like that. It's better to have no presents and a nice tree than to have lots of presents and a crummy tree. But....well, this is has been a hard year for some. Maybe a glorious tree isn't in the cards for every artist this year.

I've never been in that situation, but every year I ask myself what I'd do if I was. The prospect doesn't scare me too much because I've always thought artists are immune to that kind of anxiety. I mean, if we had to we could probably tinker together a tree out of anything around the house. After all, aesthetic problem solving is what we do for a living.

I like what this artist (above) did. I'd add Christmas lights, though.

How about a tree which is actually a volumetric eight foot high Christmas girl (above) with lots of arms that are smallest near the top and largest near the bottom? You'd make her out of newspapers and keep her upright by attaching her to a nail in the ceiling.

Of course, anything that's conical could serve as a tree. I used to wonder if a funny tree could be made by making a teepee out of mops and brooms tied together at the top, bristle sides up. Once you have the architecture then you put Christmas lights around it and hang forks and spoons for ornaments.

Come to think of it, you could make a giant teepee frame using string spreading out from an overhead light fixture.

 If you were really radical you could dispense with the cone and hang Christmas balls from the ceiling.

Here (above) paper shredder gonk hides whatever funky structure's underneath.

Hmmmm...maybe this (above), I'm not sure.

Of course Christmas is all about friends and family. If you're a Christian it's all about the birth of Christ. The tree is just a symbol, but it's still important. It's a way to focus on the profound meaning of the year's greatest holiday.