ABOUT MARRYING AURALYNN

I don't mean ME married to Auralynn....I'm already happily married.... I mean one of the young men that frequent this site, and have by now doubtlessly developed a crush on this unique woman. I've known Auralynn for a while now, and might have some useful advice to impart. Let me think.....

...Well first off: babies.... I don't really know what she thinks about them, but I figure if she likes one, she'll love five...thus the picture.

Second: she loves architecture, especially if it's retro or funky. If you want to marry this girl you'll have to have an appreciation of style.

How did she get that way?  Well, it all started when she was a kid.

She had a pet named "Charlie." Charlie was a stylish goldfish who had a big, golden tail and who swam around all day looking as cool as could be. Auralyn watched him endlessly.

Inspired by Charlie's example, she chose the "artsy" path in life. 

She took lots of snapshots with her little kid camera.

She also watched a lot of those old Universal horror movies on TV. She acquired a taste for things retro.

As she grew up she realized that she was different than the other kids in the neighborhood.

When she became of age she left home to seek out other stylish people.


TO BE CONTINUED.........


BTW: The film stills are from a terrific film called "Amalie."

A TRIP TO NEIMAN MARCUS

EDDIE (VO): "Hi Auralynn! I'm ready for another adventure! Where to this time?"

AURALYNN: "We're going to Neiman Marcus. I want to show you some clothes!"

EDDIE (VO): "Why are we stopping here? This isn't Neiman Marcus!"

AURALYNN: "I know, but you need to see some average clothes first. What do you think of this dress?"

EDDIE (VO): "Er...I dunno. I guess that's what girls are wearing now. I don't know much about things like that."

AURALYNN: "What do you think of that outfit?"

EDDIE (VO) "(Yawns) I dunno. One's as good as the other, I guess......Hey, look over there! It's The Sharper Image store! Let's check it out!"

AURALYNN: "Look at this neck massager! It feels like someones punching my back!"

EDDIE: "And this head squeezer....Ooooooooh, that feels goooood!!!!

AURALYNN: "This chair is nice, too....but.......we have to go!"

AURALYNN: "Okay, here we are...Neiman Marcus!

EDDIE (VO): "But the sign says 'Prada'."

AURALYNN: "Don't you see? Prada, Balenciaga, Arkis, Armani.....all the big design houses have little stores within Neiman Marcus!"

EDDIE (VO): "Uh-oh! Look at this store! The racks are almost empty. I guess they're going out of business!""

AURALYNN: "No, no. It's just the opposite. They're doing fine. They're just more exclusive than the other stores. Let's go in!"

EDDIE (VO): "Go in!!!???  But, but......well, er, okay."

SALESWOMAN: "Hello, Sir! Have you and your daughter been to this store before?"

EDDIE (VO): "My daughter!!!??? Oh, she's not my daughter. She's just a fr........"

SALESWOMAN: "Have a seat, Sir. I have just the dress for your adorable child. Wait here and we'll slip into the changing room and surprise you...."

EDDIE (VO): "Well, actually I'm not her......"

SALESWOMAN (VO): "Voila! What do you think?"

EDDIE (VO): "HOLY MACKEREL!!!!!! (Gulp!) Auralynn, you...you look great!!!"

SALESWOMAN: (VO): "Doesn't she? That normally sells for $4,000 but it's on sale for 2,000. Think of the good times your daughter'll have in it!"

EDDIE (VO): "Well, actually she's not....."

AURALYNN: Miss, I'm not really in the market for a dress today, but I'm impressed by the Z matrix cross stitch on the back and the canvas hensworth. I'm a designer myself and I know how rare good platerial hensworths are."

SALESWOMAN (VO): "You're a designer? So am I! I haven't seen a hensworth this long since Belenciaga formatted the triple thistlebain that way, give or take a double bevel now and then. Here, take my card. and I'll let you know when the next leather pith homey comes in."

SALESWOMAN (VO) (TO EDDIE): It was nice meeting you, Sir. I hope you'll bring your daughter in again soon."

EDDIE (VO): "Well, actually she's......Oh, forget it."

OUTSIDE THE STORE, IN THE MALL:

EDDIE: "That was interesting! But what did you bring me here to see?"

AURALYNN: "I wanted you to see why I'm a dress designer. I wanted you to see for yourself the power of design! You saw what average dresses were like....looking at them almost put you to sleep. Well, think about what you felt when you saw this one. The effect of real design is overpowering! It can make the wearer feel confident, it can change the way you move and talk, it can make or break a career. Sometimes I think design can change the world!"

EDDIE (VO): "Wow!"

AURALYNN: "Yeah."

AURALYNN RANTS ABOUT SHEETS

INT. MALL: 

AURALYNN: "Alright, you're wondering what I wanted you to see in this department store. I'll give you a hint: it has to do with something you said on your blog."

EDDIE: "My blog? Really?" 

AURALYNN: "Yeah. Follow me!"

EDDIE: "Auralynn, wait a minute! Let me try out this sofa. Ooooooh, man! This feels good! The problem is, if I allowed myself to be this comfortable in front of a TV, I'd turn into a couch potato."

AURALYNN: "How 'bout a shot for Roberto?"

AURALYNN: "Cheekster panties or cotton hipster? What do you think I should get, Eddie?"

EDDIE: "Er...what I think is that somebody I know is going to come along and I'll have to dive under the counter."

AURALYNN: "Okay, down to business! What we want is riiiiiiight around this corner......"

AURALYNN: "Okay, here we are! This is what I wanted to show you. This...THIS...is what a real bed looks like! You see how inviting this is? This is what I tried to tell you about the other day. THIS is the kind of thing girls like: quality white sheets, double pillows for each person, and a big old white comforter."

AURALYNN: "I can't believe how many men expect their girlfriends to get all worked up about jumping into a bed that looks like like an army cot. Girls hate that! On your blog you mentioned clean white sheets. That's not anywhere near enough! Tell the Theory Corner people that we're girls! We like beautiful things! Tell the guys to get a real bed with real sheets!"

AURALYNN: "(Sigh!) I love to let myself fall backward onto something big and fluffy (*Sigh*) It's like...falling...into.......a cloud."

EDDIE (VO): "It looks great, but what if a guy's strapped for cash?"

AURALYNN: "It doesn't cost much. Now here's what you need: 700 or 800 thread white cotton sheets, probably Queen size. Queen is the smallest bed that'll hold two people."

AURALYNN: "This looks like a good set: one fitted sheet, one flat sheet, and two pillow cases; 700 threads. It's on sale for $109...$90 if you have the newspaper coupon. That's a good price."

LATER, AT THE FOOD COURT:

AURALYNN: "So, did you like the sheets?"

EDDIE: "Yeah, they're great. Right now my whole family sleeps under sheets with pictures of animals and fire engines on them. That's what happens when you have kids. But you're right about the sheets."

BEAUTIFUL SANTORINI

INT. CARL'S JR. BURGER RESTAURANT:

AURALYNN: "Hi Eddie!"

EDDIE (VO): Auralynn! Hi! Hey, you're not gonna take a swing at me again, are ya'?"

AURALYNN: "Oh, I was just kidding when I did that. I didn't hurt you did I?"

EDDIE (VO): No, no, I'm fine. Hey, can I interest you in a burger? It's grilled to perfection and comes with tomato, onions and leafy lettuce. A tasty flavor treat...whaddaya say?"

AURALYNN (VO): No thanks. I'm not, er...into Carl's burgers."

AURALYNN: "Say, what are those pictures on the wall?"

EDDIE (VO): "I dunno. 'Just restaurant art."

AURALYNN (VO): "Wait a minute. Those are pictures of Santorini, one of the Greek islands! That town is beautiful. Oh, I'd give anything to go there."

EDDIE (VO): "Yeeeeeah....but look at that hill. What if you walked all the way down to the bottom then realized you left your wallet in your room?"

AURALYNN: "Well, you'd have to climb back up again. You 'gotta make some sacrifices if you want to live in a beautiful place."

EDDIE (VO): "Yeah, but...yikes! Those stairs look dangerous. What if you fell?"

AURALYNN: "Dangerous? Hmmm...hey, Eddie...what if someone was murdered there?"

EDDIE (VO): "Murdered?? You've gotta be kidding."

AURALYNN (VO): "No, look at the pictures. Cliffs and precipices everywhere. If an evil person wanted you dead...well, all it would take is a push."

EDDIE (VO): "Naaaaaaaw! Evil people don't go to places like Santorini."

AURALYNN: "Sure they do. They must. Here, I'll look it up on the internet."

EDDIE (VO): "And while you do that, I'll do justice to the rest of this delicious burger."

AURALYNN: "Okay, here it is. August 4, 2008: a chef in one of those fancy island restaurants went berserk and beheaded his girlfriend. When the police came up he threw the dripping, bloody head into their car, hijacked it, and ran over two doctors while he was trying to make his getaway."

AURALYNN: "What are you doing? Are you throwing that burger away? Why? I thought you were hungry!"

EDDIE (VO): "(Gulp!) I don't feel so good..."