Showing posts with label bachelor pad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bachelor pad. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

WHY I NEVER GOT MY BACHELOR PAD

When I was a kid I was certain that my future home would look something like this (above). I really liked the bachelor pad look, even when I was too young to know what a bachelor was.


 I figured I'd have a chemistry lab (above) in the basement....


...and an electric lab next to that. You never know when you might need to resurrect the dead.


I'd have a sophisticated telescope (above) on the roof.... 


....and a Bat Cave and Batmobile. I thought I might even dabble in fighting crime.


Oh, and control panels....I wanted lots of electronics with viewing screens and control panels!


So, what happened? How come I never got my manly dream house (apart from the expense, of course)?


This (above) is what happened. I grew up and got married. 


Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I got married. I wouldn't change that for the world. It's just that American tradition gives the girl a big influence in home decoration. If you're a guy and you muscle in on that your neighbors will think you're a monster.


Let's be clear about what we're talking about here. The girl who's going to decorate your manly dream house may have developed her taste while growing up in rooms like this (above). Yikes!


That extra room you were thinking of turning into a safari room?


Your wife may have other plans (above) for it. 


Let's face it, women are different than us. They're...I don't know how to say it....refined! When when they sit down to dinner they imagine they're on some country estate having high tea.  


You and I, being men, naturally think of a meal as "grub." We like to imagine ourselves in a cabin in the in the Klondike eating seal blubber with Bowie knives.


Fortunately rational people can resolve their differences by compromise. In the above example, the husband's desire for a safari motif neatly combines with the wife's desire for girly things. Problem solved...I think.

BTW: I showed this post to my wife, who thought it was funny but also appallingly inaccurate. I had to talk her out of demanding equal time.