Showing posts with label spaced patrol. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spaced patrol. Show all posts

Monday, October 05, 2009

"SPACED PATROL!"


ANNOUNCER: "It's the "SPAAAAAACE PATROOOOOL!"



ESTABLISHING SHOT: EARTH -- OUTSIDE SPACE PATROL HEADQUARTERS -- ON THE SPACESHIP, "GALAXY EAGLE."

COMMANDER (V.O.): "Crew, I'd like you to meet our new recruit, Lt. Buzz Buzzly."



CAPTAIN SAVAGE: "Have a seat, Buzz! You're just in time for an urgent video transmission from the planet "Effluvia!"



EFFLUVIANS (VIDEO TRANSMISSION): "Earthlings! Your ambassador has contracted a rare Effluvian disease that's turned him into a giant."



EFFLUVIANS (CONT) (V.O.): "At first it was okay. He just sat around reading the newspaper."



EFFLUVIANS (CONT) (V.O.): "But then he got bored, and started ripping up houses. Whole towns have been wiped out!"



EFFLUVIAN: "The Counsel has ordered us to shoot him, but if you can get here fast with the antidote, we can cure him instead of killing him. The antidote is chocolate. You can't get that here, so we need you to bring some...fast!"



BUZZ: "Captain! I have all the chocolate you could ever want in my briefcase! I took it with me just in case the ship's food sucks. Er...No offense!"



CAPTAIN SAVAGE: "Good for you, Buzz! Then we'd better be taking off! Um, Buzz...you know how to fly a spaceship, don't you?"



BUZZ: "Fly a spaceship? Me?"



BUZZ: "Haw! Do I know how to fly the spaceship!? Oh, that's a good one! Do I...Oh, you sure know how to tell a joke, Captain!"



BUZZ: "Hmmmmm."























































DOCTOR PATRICIA: "Accute G force trauma. The Commander will live, but he's paralyzed below the waist."



CREWMAN: "Look! There's Effluvia, up ahead! Good thing you didn't leave that briefcase Back in your apartment!"



BUZZ: "Yeah, good thing!"



BUZZ: "Huh? Apartment!?"



BUZZ: "Ooooooh, I did a bad thing..."



COMMANDER: "What? No...no...tell me you didn't forget your......"



BUZZ: "Don't worry, Commander Sir! I'll go back and get that doggone briefcase and we'll be up again in five minutes, wait and see!"



BUZZ (HOURS LATER): "#@&%X futuristic cities! I can't find my apartment!"



BUZZ: "There we go, five minutes like I said."


DOCTOR PATRICIA: "G force trauma again. The Commander will survive but he'll be reduced to begging for the rest of his life, in a suit of filthy rags."



CAPTAIN SAVAGE: "Buzz, perhaps you'd like to introduce us to the lovely guest you invited on board."



BUZZ (V.O.): "Oh, that's Sally. I brought her along to guard the chocolate."



BUZZ: "She has disdain for anything fattening, so I figured the chocolates would be safe with her."



SFX -- (LOUD EATING) Crunch! Munch! CRuuuunch! MNCH! Muuunch! Crunch!







SALLY: "Um...er, sorry. I couldn't help myself. The candy looked so good."



BUZZ: "Don't worry Commander, Sir! I have more chocolates in my desk drawer on Earth! I'll grab a box and we'll be in the air again in five minutes, just you wait and see!"


BUZZ (HOURS LATER): "#@&%X!"



BUZZ: "Five minutes, like I said."



DOCTOR PATRICIA: "More G force trauma. The Commander will survive but he'll need to drink and speak through a pin-sized straw for the rest of his wretched life."



EFFLUVIANS (ON THE SHIP'S VIEW SCREEN): "Earthlings! We're very sorry, but we had to shoot your ambassador. He was eating us out of house and home!"



BUZZ: "Gulp! Does this mean no lunch?"