Sunday, July 12, 2009

A STREETCAR NAMED DEZYRE





STUNLEY: "STALLA! STALL-LAHHHHHH!!!!!"



STUNLEY: "Where's the scissors!? I'll bet your hoity-toity sister Blunche has them!"



STALLA: "Here, Dear. They're right here on the table where you left them.



STUNLEY: "Oh.....well anyway, your sister's always runnin' me down...sayin' I'm stupid and stuff. Well, I ain't stupid!"



AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!


STUNLEY: "Slut! It's YOUR fault!"






STUNLEY (VO): "Oh, I'm sorry, Stalla. Come 'ere, Baby...Daddy'll kiss it and make it better!"

Blunche re-acts.


STELLA (VO): "Here I am, Daddy! Mommy needs those kisses! (Sloppy kisses and groans)."



STALLA (VO): "Careful, Stunley! Blunche is here, remember?"



STUNLEY: "Oh, right...stupid old Blunche is here! Hmmmm...."



STUNLEY: "Hey, a man gets hungry and there's nothin' around ta eat!"



STUNLEY: "STAAAAALLLAAAA!!!!!!"



STUNLEY: The refrigerator's all the way across the room! How am I gonna get my celerey!?"



STALLA: "Here, Dear. Celerey. Right here."



STUNLEY: "Huh? Celerey? Oh, thanks."



STUNLEY: "Yessir, when you're really hungry, there's nothing like a good...."



STUNLEY: "AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!"



STUNLEY: "Ooooh, my eye!!!!!"



STUNLEY: "Slut! It's your fault again!"






STUNLEY (VO): "Oh, did I do that? Come over here, I want my baby over here!"

Blunche re-acts.


STALLA (VO): "Daddy was mean to his Poopsey-Woopsey!"



STUNLEY (VO): "Never again, Poopsey! Two lips'll fix it!"



STALLA (VO): "Careful, Stunley! Blunche is still here, remember?"



STANLEY (VO): "Oh, right...Blunche."



STUNLEY: (Sniff! Sniff!).



STUNLEY: (Blows nose).



STALLAH: "Sigh! That's my man!"



STUNLEY (VO): "Stalla, quick, get my shotgun! There's a fly on the ceiling!"


Saturday, July 11, 2009

DELETED COMMENTS


Uncle Eddie: "I very seldom deliberately delete a comment. When I do, I feel really guilty about it. I mean the person who wrote it had to have gone to some trouble, even if it was just a death threat, and that should be acknowledged. In recognition of that, here's a few unpublished comments from the past three years.



"Uncle Eddie, you stud muffin...how's about you and me...steppin'?"



"Haw Haw (Snick! Harnk!)! Just kidding, Silly!! That was me! Hey, what did you think of 'Assassin's Creed?' Isn't that a way cool game? It takes a while to get a mission, though."


"Eddie, can I have the address of the girl on top?"



"Hi Eddie! Greetings from the 'Anonymous' community. Thanks for letting us comment here!"



"I'm sorry, but I find your practice of doing photo stories with a girl's wig on to be disgusting!"



"Uncle Eddie, I like your site but why do you persist in posting so many pictures of normal-looking women? What men want to see is babes...you know what I mean!"



"Um, Eddie...can I have the address of that handsome man above?"



"Here's a kiss for you Eddie...from a fan in Philadelphia!"



"Ditto from a fan in Wisconsin!"



"Another to you is kissing from fan we are being in Khazkstan!"



"Don't worry about putting stuff up that's bad for kids. We can take it!"



"Uncle Eddie, is it true that your male assets are...well, formidable?"




Thursday, July 09, 2009

PAUL COLINS: GENIUS LITHO ARTIST


Parisian artist Paul Colins was arguably the best jazz poster artist ever, and this (above) is his most famous poster.



Like everybody else in Paris in 1925 he was bowled over by the Revue Negre, which featured Josephine Baker dancing in a banana outfit. The revue also introduced 'The Charleston" to France. Audiences went nuts!



The famous bananas (above).



Baker dancing to "Hot Hot Hottentot!"



Colin couldn't fit all his impressions into posters so he did a series of lithographs for a book called "Le Tumulte Noir," which is where most of these pictures are from. Baker sat for him several times.


The odd angles of the poses struck by the dancers wowed everybody...






...as did the frank sexuality.



In Colin's words, Baker was "part boxer kangaroo, part rubber woman, part female Tarzan." Baker was one of the all-time great free-form dancers.



Here's (above) the kind of thing Colins did when he wasn't drawing jazz artists.



Are some of these pictures racist? I honestly don't know. When they're done as well as these are, the whole question gets hard to focus on. You could argue that the red minstrel lips are a racial stereotype, on the other hand the artist clearly admires many of the people he depicts, even when he makes fun of them.