SO YOU HATE HALLOWEEN!

Gee, that's too bad. Well, I won't trouble you with these pictures of sexy Halloween costumes. I'll understand if you want to pursue more intellectual activities elsewhere. 

 These pictures are all taken from the latest internet offerings. The stores are a little more sparse this year, I guess because they figure nobody has money to spend. That may be a mistake. Hard times could be good for the Halloween industry.

Alpine beer maidens (left) are back. Why did they ever go? Maybe this is the way all girls should dress, all year 'round.

Above, the latest variation on The Queen of Hearts. 

I submit that girl toy store clerks should dress like this (above). The stores would sell more toys. Come to think of it, we should bring back beautiful airline stewardesses. Some industries are the natural domain of the handsome and the beautiful. Zeus has willed it so.

Wow! A nice Cleopatra costume (left)! Actually, the Mark Antony costume offered in the "Spirit" stores this year is a pretty good costume for men.

(Gulp!)  I see the girl pirate biz (left) is still thriving. (Gulp!) (Gulp!)

If I ever figure out a way to get rich from Theory Corner I'm gonna get a yacht and staff it with sailors like this one (left). Be nice to me and I'll give you a ride....unless my social standing demands that I snub you.

Baseball, anyone?

This glimpse into 1770 (above) is my final entry. I toyed with the idea of substituting this for picture of a guy in a clown costume with a rainbow colored afro, but that would have been cruel. 

PIZZA BOY (PART III)

EXT. SPOOKY OLD HOUSE, NIGHT:

VAMPIRE LADY (V.O.): "This way."

VAMPIRE LADY: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to meet a new member of the team: Pizza Boy."

PIZZA BOY (AWKWARD): "Er...Hiya."

VAMPIRE LADY CLONE #1:  "Mmmmm, a handsome, strapping youth. I like your disguise, Pizza Boy!"

ALIEN PRINCESS: "I like it too. Tell me, what special ingredients do you use in your pizza?  Belladonna? Arsenic?  They tell me you get more kills with Botulism."

PIZZA BOY: "Um...just pepperoni, m'am."

ALIEN GIRL: "Relax, have a seat! Take off your head. The Earth people can't see you here."

She screws off her head.

ALIEN GIRL (HEAD): "Ah, That's better! Dragging along a body makes my neck hurt."

VAMPIRE LADY: "I just take the neck off. It's easier."

PIZZA BOY: "Oops! Oh, gosh darn! It's getting late! I gotta go!"


 

ALIEN GUY: "Don't go! The party's just getting started! Take your head off & kick back."

ALIEN GUY #2: "Yeah, and The Great Leader's gonna talk tonight. You don't want to miss that!"

ALIEN GUY #3: "This is the last chance to party! Tomorrow we wipe out all living things on Earth.

PIZZA BOY: "Heh, heh, all living things!? Haw! Imagine that! Well, I gotta..."

ALIEN GUY #4: "Wait a minute! You're the only one here who hasn't taken off his disguise. What gives?"

VAMPIRE LADY CLONE #1: "Yeah, I wondered about that too."

EVERY ONE: "And so did we!"

MENACING ALIENS: "KILL THE PIZZA BOY! KILL THE PIZZA BOY!"

 

EVERYONE IN THE ROOM (TOGETHER): "KILL THE PIZZA BOY! KILL THE PIZZA BOY!"






GOOD GRIEF! IT LOOKS LIKE CURTAINS FOR OUR HERO! HOW'S PIZZA BOY GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS!? 


TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO THE ADVENTURES OF 
*******PIZZA BOY!********

WHY CARTOONISTS SHOULD BE INTERESTED IN AUTISM

Sorry for the delay in getting the next episode of Pizza Boy up.  I had a lot of trouble with Beta Blogger last time I posted, maybe because my desktop was cluttered with hundreds of unsorted pictures. It's taken me almost two days to straighten it out, so all my blog work got pushed back. Don't worry, Pizza Boy is alive and well.

While I'm here, I thought I'd put up an hour-long lecture (above) by Temple Grandin, the best known writer on the subject of autism and Aspergers. She has both conditions herself and is amazingly articulate on the subject.

I don't think I have either myself, but Grandin interests me. I like her speaking style with its clarity and digressions to detail. She has the autistic propensity to concentrate on things rather than people, an approach that makes some autustic people seem cold and mechanistic, but which in her case is unexpectedly appealing. She's a good role model for people with that problem.

She's also thought provoking. She makes me wonder about the problems of people with low level Aspergers who aren't diagnosed early and are therefore are never given special consideration in school. They may never realize what they have until they're old enough to self-diagnose, but by then they're stuck with bad habits and an unnecessarily botched education.

She also makes me interested to hear how Aspergers people compensate. They're puzzled by the fact that ordinary people often don't mean what they say, and have hidden motives for things, and they're appalled by our insistence that they act that way too. That must lead to some interesting encounters. And autistic people...they have to put up with being touched, with strobing fluorescent lights, loud eating sounds, et al...imagine what their lives must be like. 'Lots of cartoon opportunities here.

BTW: To avoid the long-winded formal introductions, I recommend starting the video several minutes in, when Grandin takes the stage.




This one minute video (above) is a simple list of famous high achievers who are reputed to have been autistic. I don't know if it's accurate, but it sure is interesting.

PIZZA BOY (PART I)

EXT. OLD MANSION: NIGHT: 

(SFX: KNOCK! KNOCK!) The pizza delivery boy knocks on the front door.

PIZZA BOY: "Hello in there!!! Your pizza's here!" 

PIZZA BOY: "Oh, man! Smell that pie: mighty mozzarella, massive mushrooms, sizzling sausage, primo pepperoni....a bit of heaven here on Earth..."

PIZZA BOY: "...and all for the ridiculously low price of eleven dollars...er, plus (ahem!) an optional gratuity, of course!"

IGOR: "Go away! We don't want any!"

PIZZA BOY: "Huh!?"

Beta Blogger just erased the rest of this post, maybe because my desktop is cluttered with pictures. I'll reconstruct it and post it seperately in a PART II, BELOW:

PIZZA BOY (PARTII)

IGOR: "I said, 'GO AWAY!'"

ON THE DOORMAT: The message morphs.

PIZZA BOY: "Heh, heh.  You obviously haven't heard me correctly, Sir!

PIZZA BOY: "This isn't any ordinary food...this is PIZZA: The Food of the Gods,  The Taste Sublime!"

PIZZA BOY: "But I warn you: some customers love this pizza so much that they begin to believe the pizza loves them back. They have a relationship with the pizza, almost an affair. They burst into tears when the time comes to eat it."

PIZZA BOY: "If that's your intention Sir, then I must withhold the pizza. I cannot submit this poor innocent pie to such unnatural affection."

PIZZA BOY: "But if your intentions are good, your purpose honorable, then you'll know that the purpose of a pizza is to give soft and gooey pleasure.  I beg you to feel no guilt when you take the first delicious bite!"

PIZZA BOY: "But enough of this...the time for talk is over! That's the gate opening up ahead! Sir, I have to ask you: are you ready to enter... The Land of Deliciousness!!??"

PIZZA BOY: "Eleven bucks! Whaddaya say!?"

LADY VAMPIRE: (Gasp!) What's that on your finger!?"

PIZZA BOY: "On my finger? Er, it's just a ring."

ON IGOR'S EYE: He reacts to the ring

PIZZA BOY (V.O.): "My girlfriend gave it to me!"

IGOR (V.O.) :  "Gasp! You're one of us! Why didn't you say so!?"


He grabs Pizza Boy, pulls him inside.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?  WHAT HAS PIZZA BOY GOTTEN HIMSELF INTO?  WHAT TERRIBLE SECRET LIES  WITHIN THE HOUSE?  WATCH FOR THE NEXT THRILLING EPISODE OF....

PIZZA BOY!