PIZZA BOY (PART V) (REVISED)

EXT. SPOOKY OLD HOUSE, NIGHT:

GREAT LEADER (V.O.): "Are the shades down? The doors locked?"

ALIENS (V.O.): "Yes, Great Leader! Only the initiated can hear your transmission!"

INT. HOUSE: Aliens are gathered to listen to The Great Leader on TV.

GREAT LEADER: "Good! I can't emphasize enough the need for security."

Pizza Boy listens.

GREAT LEADER: "As you know, the invasion of Earth begins tomorrow. I assume you all have your orders."

ALIEN (V.O.): "Yes, Great Leader! Everyone knows who he's supposed to vaporize when the signal is given!" 

ALIEN KID: "Look Dad! The Great Leader is just a big old eyeball!"

The Great Leader zaps the kid.

"

THE GREAT LEADER: "Now let's get down to business. Are the gorillas ready to be unleashed?"

GORILLA TRAINER: "Yes, Great Leader! When you say the word a half million angry gorillas will be released in population centers all over the world."

THE GREAT LEADER (V.O.): "Good!"

GREAT LEADER (V.O.): "And the ball bearings? Are they ready to roll?"

SALUTING ALIEN: "Yes, Great Leader. At your command steel balls fifty feet high will be rolled down the streets of every village and town."

GREAT LEADER: "And the Lesbians? How about them?" 

LESBIANS: "They're ready, Great Leader!"

LESBIANS (V.O.): "On the signal the Amazon Army will attack New York City, taking care not to disrupt the various feminist bookstores and craft fairs."

GREAT LEADER (V.O.): "And the Shamwows!? What about the Shamwows?"


SHAMWOW SALESMAN: "A million Venusian face eaters have been sold to American housewives under the brand name, 'Shamwow.' When the command is given the Shamwows will revert to type and voraciously consume human faces."

GREAT LEADER: "Excellent! And the zombie dogs?"

GREAT LEADER (V.O.): "Never mind! I can see they're ready!"

GREAT LEADER: "Then that's it! The invasion will commence tomorrow! Victory is inevitable!"

APPLAUSE LIGHT GOES ON.

Aliens...enthusiastic applause.


ALIENS (CHANTING): "Victory to The Great Leader! Victory to the Great Leader! Victory to the Great Leader!!!!"

PIZZA BOY: "Yeah...er...victory and all that. Yessir!"

PIZZA BOY: "Now how do I collect for the pizza?"  



STORY CONTINUES IN PART VI, WHICH FOLLOWS......

PIZZA BOY (PART IV)

ON THE SPOOKY OLD HOUSE (COPYRIGHT BY DANIELE MONTELLA). THIS IS THE STAGING AREA FOR THE ALIEN INVASION OF EARTH:

MENACING ALIENS (CHANTING) (V.O.): "Kill the Pizza Boy! Kill the Pizza Boy!"

MENACING ALIENS (CHANTING): "KILL THE PIZZA BOY! KILL THE PIZZA BOY!!!"

MESSED-UP ALIEN: "Wait a minute! I don't blame him for not taking off his disguise! I just tried to put mine back on again and I can't remember where anything goes!"

BIG CONICAL ALIEN: "Same here! I took off mine and now I don't know how I'm ever gonna get it back on again!"

BIG CONICAL ALIEN: "I keep mine on all the time, but it's really uncomfortable. I wish I could take it off."

ALIEN: "Er, maybe we were a bit hasty."

ANOTHER ALIEN: "Yeah, Dude. Sorry about that!"

PIZZA BOY: "That's okay! No biggie!"

PIZZA BOY: "Look, I gotta go, but....."

PIZZA BOY: "...but I can't help asking: somebody here ordered this pizza...don't you still want it? It would be a shame if it went to waste, and it's only eleven bucks. "

HUNGRY ALIEN: "That was me! I ordered it! But it's not for me. I only eat Earth women."

ON A BABY, EATING A BOX.

HUNGRY ALIEN (V.O.): "It's for her. She likes to eat the box!"

PIZZA BOY: "The box!!?? Hmmm. Well...I, er...guess I could give you some kind of discount."

GIANT ALIEN HEAD:  "Hey, everybody! It's time for The Great Leader's broadcast!!!"

FEMALE ALIEN: "Oh, my gosh! The Great Leader!!!!!"

All aliens rush to take their places around the TV.

ALIEN VIEWERS: "Oh, boy! Transmission from the mother ship is especially clear tonight!"

ALIEN KIDS (THEY CHANT TOGETHER): "All hail to the grand and glorious GREAT LEADER! All hail to the great and glorious GREAT LEADER!""

ALIEN WOMEN (THEY CHANT WITH THE KIDS): "All hail to the grand and glorious Great Leader!"

THE ENTIRE ROOM (EXCEPT PIZZA BOY) (CHANTING TOGETHER) (V.O.): "All hail the grand and glorious GREAT LEADER!"

OH BOY!!! WE'RE IN THE THICK OF IT NOW!!!  WHO OR WHAT IS THE GREAT LEADER!!!????  WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO PIZZA BOY WHEN THEY MEET!??????? WHAT WILL BE THE FATE OF DEAR OLD PLANET EARTH!!!??????? DON'T MISS A SINGLE PIXEL OF THE NEXT THRILLING EPISODE OF.......

*********************PIZZA BOY***********************

PIZZA BOY (PART I)

EXT. OLD MANSION: NIGHT: 

(SFX: KNOCK! KNOCK!) The pizza delivery boy knocks on the front door.

PIZZA BOY: "Hello in there!!! Your pizza's here!" 

PIZZA BOY: "Oh, man! Smell that pie: mighty mozzarella, massive mushrooms, sizzling sausage, primo pepperoni....a bit of heaven here on Earth..."

PIZZA BOY: "...and all for the ridiculously low price of eleven dollars...er, plus (ahem!) an optional gratuity, of course!"

IGOR: "Go away! We don't want any!"

PIZZA BOY: "Huh!?"

Beta Blogger just erased the rest of this post, maybe because my desktop is cluttered with pictures. I'll reconstruct it and post it seperately in a PART II, BELOW: