Friday, September 17, 2010

SO YOU HATE HALLOWEEN!








Gee, that's too bad. Well, I won't trouble you with these pictures of sexy Halloween costumes. I'll understand if you want to pursue more intellectual activities elsewhere. 






 These pictures are all taken from the latest internet offerings. The stores are a little more sparse this year, I guess because they figure nobody has money to spend. That may be a mistake. Hard times could be good for the Halloween industry.




Alpine beer maidens (left) are back. Why did they ever go? Maybe this is the way all girls should dress, all year 'round.


Above, the latest variation on The Queen of Hearts. 



I submit that girl toy store clerks should dress like this (above). The stores would sell more toys. Come to think of it, we should bring back beautiful airline stewardesses. Some industries are the natural domain of the handsome and the beautiful. Zeus has willed it so.



Wow! A nice Cleopatra costume (left)! Actually, the Mark Antony costume offered in the "Spirit" stores this year is a pretty good costume for men.



(Gulp!)  I see the girl pirate biz (left) is still thriving. (Gulp!) (Gulp!)




If I ever figure out a way to get rich from Theory Corner I'm gonna get a yacht and staff it with sailors like this one (left). Be nice to me and I'll give you a ride....unless my social standing demands that I snub you.

Baseball, anyone?

This glimpse into 1770 (above) is my final entry. I toyed with the idea of substituting this for picture of a guy in a clown costume with a rainbow colored afro, but that would have been cruel. 



14 comments:

Anonymous said...

But Eddie, I'm too old to be going out in a silly costume and soliciting random folks for diabetes-inducing candy out on those dangerous neighborhood streets! Why are you writing such a ridiculous post? Now, add a girl with a sexy Halloween costume like the ones in your post, and I would be certainly obliged to go out there this season.

I'm just kidding with you and having fun with that part. Don't take the first paragraph too seriously, now. I have nothing against Halloween in any way, even though my parents are afraid it's one of the Devil's holidays, as they'd put it, which is part of the reason I can't go trick-or-treating these days. Plus my neighborhood isn't the safest place in the world. I've even caught young teenagers smoking, possibly weed, outright in the daytime.

Anyways, I like how risque and risky all these Halloween costumes are. I had never really seen them look like this before. Luckily, this Christmas season will be at least a moderate success, despite the state of the American economy.

Severin said...

Hard times means there is less cloth to go around for Halloween costumes! However, I feel that with proper planning and mapping we can costume the same number of girls using less material. Perhaps if we mobilize the whole Theory Corner crew we can come up with solutions to fill the streets with as many girls wearing as little cloth as possible this Halloween.

Rossco said...

We don't really do Halloween in Australia.
This post offers a good argument on why we should all hang our heads in shame.

Alberto said...

I'm all about beer maidens!


If women in the 1770's dressed like that our forefathers wouldn't have gotten anything done.

Steven M. said...

I'm all for the sailor costume.

Jorge Garrido said...

Yeah, I hate Halloween, wanna make something out of it?

Anonymous said...

Hubba hubba!

Hey Uncle Eddie, I thought I'd share a couple of my short films with you.

The first one is a student film called "Abra Cadaver" that we made for Sheridan College. I was writer/cinematographer. The script was largely inspired by your Magic Poster posts.

http://vimeo.com/14846994

The second is a commercial I wrote/directed for the Toronto Underground Cinema's snack bar. I thought you'd approve.

http://vimeo.com/14023699

I'd love to hear what you have to say about them. A lot of the subject matter in my movies is inspired by your posts!

Thanks!

Jennifer said...

Those pictures were nice for the straight male and lesbian Theory Corner readers, but how about a little bit of "candy" for the straight female and gay male readers? *wink*

BeatCop said...

Hey you, Uncle Eddie,

I came upon this compilation of spooky architecture photos and knew that you'd enjoy it - check it out!

http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2010/09/11/creepy-buildings-gallery/

Joel Brinkerhoff said...

Unfortunately girls who dress like this on Halloween don't come to my door. And I will not pay for them to either,(here comes the wife...

Needles G.'s Urban Exploits said...

I can wait till I start putting out stuff the first day of october, its going to be great, with all the tombstones I bought last week and the tree zooming ghosts I bought as well.

Needles G.'s Urban Exploits said...

dear Eddie

it may have been last year or the year before, but you linked some great Halloween prep and costume websites, I'd love to see you do something like that again, I want to bring something new together this year and Im looking for all the inspiration I can get.

Freshyfresh said...

I love these costumes!!!=) But I wouldn't wanna see that kind of stuff on a little girl!:(

Thanks for finding and posting all that cool stuff!!!=)
I used some of the pictures and drew caricatures!:3

Jenny Lerew said...

I can understand why U.E likes these examples, but to me the explosion of all the cheaply made, tarty fairy tale/Circus Circus cocktail outfit "Halloween costumes" is depressing. And annoying, because they have absolutely nothing to do with Halloween celebrations at all-the spirit or the letter of it.

The US Halloween thing has become overstaurated with a completely generic costume ball/UK-style-panto approach. Actually, come to think of it, at least the UK panto and masquerade tradition has produced some fantastic masks-you can buy one of just about any animal, for instance, which is pretty cool. Fine stuff, but most certainly not All Hallow's Eve--or scary, or mysterious, or romantic.

Or particularly sexy, but again YMMV (and obviously does).