MORE EDDIE FITZGERALD CARICATURES

Hey, I found more of my kid's caricatures of me! These were done when she was in 9th or 10th grade, in a burger restaurant near her school. I'd draw her while she ate then she'd draw me while I ate.

How do you like the expression (above) she gave me? I call it eager-stupid. It's set off nicely by the little micro blood vessels in the nose and Dr. Cyclops glasses.

 My turn! I drew her reading. She liked to draw but she hated to pose so I had to draw fast.

 'Back to my kid drawing me again. Good Lord! Look at that ear! Or is it a melting potato?

Aaaaaarghhhh!!!!!  The same day...she beat me again! The way she stretched the face out, across two pages...why didn't I think of that!!??? I'm so jealous!!!

What was my son doing while all this was going on? Well, he wasn't a caricature man...he was more of a comic artist. That's one of his comic covers above. It was for the "I'm Fat Comics" which was all about me; according to the comic, the world's fattest, lumpiest man. Haw!

VIRTUAL REALITY DANGERS

We all know that virtual reality is just around the corner. The day's coming when men with goggles will be able to enjoy the company of  a beautiful virtual woman right in their own living room. 

It's a computer thing. 

Of course the kind of classy men who frequent Theory Corner want something more than just beauty. They'll want a sweet, intelligent girl... a girl who'll listen to all their problems and...yes...agree with them on just about everything.  Ahhh, that'll be nice, but....

....but one day it's bound to occur, even to the elevated men who come here, that three girls (above) listening to their problems would be better than one. 

And a dozen would be better than three! Yikes! You'll hock everything you've got to buy more RAM!

The day will come when you'll have a house full of virtual women. They'll all be glad to see you and they'll all laugh at your jokes, but don't try to touch them...they don't really exist.

Wait'll you try to use your car.

Or brush your teeth.

How much flossing do you think you'll get done?

 Of course other men will have virtual companions, too. You'll find yourself wondering,  is the male doctor who's operating on me...really paying attention?

Maybe. You'll never know.

We have to face the fact the entire male gender might become hopelessly addicted to the presence of virtual women. Civilization could fall apart.

But let's not be pessimistic. Science has a cure, if we have the courage to apply it. B. F. Skinner said that the only way to extinguish conditioning is by counter-conditioning. Alright then,  let's do that.

Goggles will have to programmed for the extreme opposite type of female...the kind that would discourage virtual addiction. 

Only great mental pain will be able to override great mental pleasure.

Good Luck!

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Oh, yes...on another subject...a word about the Fourth of July:

THEN AND NOW COMPARISONS

Like a lot of people I'm a fan of British painter John Constable who painted the Flatford Mill (above) somewhere around 1820. His color choices remind me of El Greco's palette...very grey and gritty, almost expressionist. 

He also seems to have been influenced by the Dutch landscape painters of Rembrandt's time. You see that instantly if you compare the painting with the recent color photo of the same mill below.

If this (above) is what Constable really saw then he's added a lot to what was actually there. 

Constable's painting gives a Dutch emphasis to the sky and to the activities of man. I'm guessing that the Dutch focus on the sky was religiously motivated and their nod to the ingenuity of man was to portray humans as contributing in a small way to the creation described in Genesis.

 Here's (above) another Constable from the same period. He's more sentimental here and less expressionist. Once again nature is portrayed as being improved by the presence of man.

 Here's (above) a close shot photo of the same area as it exists today. Unlike Constable's picture, the trees and shrubs reflect the modern taste for nature untouched by man. The landscape is still cultivated here but the cultivation is disguised. I guess my tastes are modern because I like the newer look. I still like Constable, though.

I don't want to confine my comparisons to paintings, so here's (above) a comparison of two photos. The first shows a village intersection taken in 1910 or 20. I like the way the winding road invites the viewer to take a stroll up the hill.

Here's the same intersection, a hundred years later. The earlier view is better, but the hill is still somewhat inviting and the tree is a nice addition. I do wish, though, that the view of the house on the hill had been preserved. Also, the structures on the right seem to have been built without sensitivity to the area they have to fit into.

This (above) is a postcard showing a bridge in Derbyshire, I'm not sure about the date. I'll guess the 1910s. The trees on the nearby hill are sparse but still picturesque.

 Here's (above) the same bridge a hundred years later. A near forest has grown up. IMO, the lush vegetation is a bit less beautiful than the sparse version, but I'm so happy to see new growth that I support the later version nevertheless.

How about one more? What do you think of this street (above)? I'm guessing the picture was snapped between 1900 and 1920. The houses on the left make a nice contrast to the shops on the right. I like the way the street ends at a perpendicular row of houses.

Here (above, a hundred years later) the houses on the right have been preserved...well, sort of...but the structures on the left have been badly altered and the street seems awkwardly wider than before.

I don't think parked cars hurt the appearance of a street but I miss the molding along the top of the windows of the foreground shop, and the second floor balcony supports (corbels).

"THE OTHER PARIS"

I'm reading a recent book called "The Other Paris." It's mostly about that city in it's heyday in the 19th and early 20th Century. People used to say about the city, "I'd rather be poor in Paris than rich anywhere else."

You can see why they felt that way. The city's narrow streets remained beautiful even when flooded as they were when this picture (above) was taken in 1909. 

Above,  the exterior of a famous artists' cabaret in Clichy.

It was pretty nice inside (above).

But there were even fancier places (above) for those who could afford it.

Above, Monjol, where the poorest, most desperate women of the night offered their wares. It's odd to see it on a picture postcard.

It was cleaned up a bit by 1922 when this picture (above) was taken. The clean-up had unintended consequences, though. The enforced closing of bordellos put the women on the street where they needed tough guy pimps for protection.

This (above) is the gigantic Les Halles market. Lots of the poor lived directly and indirectly off the market.

The market was renovated and made more sanitary in (I think) 1960. That put a lot of poor out of work, necessitating broader social programs and more taxes.

Today the city is still wonderful and now it's mostly well lit and well ordered...maybe too much so. The book seems to ask the question: can any modern city ever achieve the magic of the old Paris? Exactly what did the magic of the old city consist of? Those are interesting questions.  

THE ULTIMATE HOME OFFICE

Thanks to Alexander Calder I found it! The ultimate home office!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course it's a kitchen in the photo but it's not hard to imagine the kind of accessory changes that would transform it into an artist's workplace.

The Chinese kite's a great idea as is the homemade copper baking mold lights and the Moroccan tapestry.

Nice, eh?

ELVIS GIFs

Gee, I miss Elvis. I was only a little kid when he was at his peak, but even kids knew there was something special there.

Above, my favorite Elvis GIF.

Very nice!!!!

Elvis was the all time best projector of teen angst. He did it even better than James Dean. Amazingly, some men of my generation never got over their angst. It's weird to see it in an adult. Maybe they hung on to it because it looked so good on Elvis.

Ah, I see it clearly now. The moves are all in the footwork.

A FATHER'S DAY GIFT!

As a Father's Day gift to you dads out there I offer two songs. Both are completely inappropriate for the holiday but I'm in a hurry and the songs just happened to be on my mind. Anyway, I know you'll like them, so I won't have to feel guilty for wasting anyone's time.

The first song is The Queen of the Night song from Ingmar Bergman's version of Mozart's "Magic Flute." The young princess has been kidnapped by a lecherous troll so that she may be brought to her mysterious father, who she's never met. Her crazy, vengeful mother, the Queen of the Night, appears and gives the princess a dagger so that she can kill her dad. That's what the Queen's singing about in the video above.

I didn't choose this song because it had any special significance for Father's Day but, coincidentally, the opera...especially this version of it... does take the stand that a good father has necessary virtues that only a male can impart to a child...yes, even if that child is a girl.



Here's (above) another of my favorite Mozart songs, this one sung by a woman in drag, pretending to be a man. It's from "Marriage of Figaro." This also is inappropriate for the holiday but I found myself singing it for days in the shower so it's found a place here.

The lyrics don't fit what the melody is saying very well. Lots of songs were like that up to about 150 years ago...I don't know why. The music without lyrics seems to be pleading for understanding, for some ideal combination of human intellect and passion. That's only partly reflected in the lyrics. Go figure. Anyway, it's beautiful.

So, Happy Fathers' Day all you dads!