Sunday, February 17, 2008

THE ADVANTAGE OF BUCK TEETH

I like to kid about the beauty of buck teeth, and an unexpected outcome of that kidding has been that I've convinced myself for real that buck teeth are genuinely beautiful. That's so counter-intuitive that I thought I'd better stop and think, to see if I really mean what I seem to be saying.  I think I do...sort of. 


That's me above, with a piece of paper serving as my buck teeth. On the basis of the photo above I'd say that buck teeth make you look younger, and that doesn't hurt.  Buck teeth make you appear idealistic as well, another unexpected benefit. 

 
Of course there's no denying that buck teeth make you look stupid...or do they?  The Nutty Proffessor looks stupid but his fake buck teeth are superimposed on a normal dental template and are obvious symbols for comedy.  

Real buck teeth occur on on a forward thrusting palette, and in context, don't look so bad. Take a look at the kid above. His buck teeth look good to me and if I was his dad I might consider doing without braces. Or maybe I wouldn't, I don't know.

Here's (above) another example of fake buck teeth on a normal palette. It doesn't look right.

 
Why is this girl (above) said to have "The Ugly Betty" look?  She looks fine to me. Does she really need braces? 


Sometimes buck teeth are blamed when the real culprit is a weak chin.  Buck teeth are fine for my taste, and so are weak chins, but the combination of the two is a sure visual symbol for stupidity, regardless of how intelligent the person may really be. I have both, but I take it in stride. There's no use worrying about what you can't change. I wouldn't look like me with a strong chin, and I wouldn't give up my buck teeth for anything.
 
This (above) is my species. We evolved overbite and buck teeth to better masticate the gnarly fruits and bark to be found on high jungle branches. If a comet strikes the Earth again bark biters like us will carry on the human genotype. We stand ready to give our all for the continuation of human life on our planet!*

* OK, I made up that stuff about high branches but there must be some advantage to buck teeth. I have noticed that we tend to be sexier. You never see buck-toothed bachleors.


   

29 comments:

kellycomments said...

Though you may like how you have adapted to your dysfunctional bite it probably has had some health sacrifices over the years. Bite dysfunction (overbites, underbites, poor facial development, etc.) is usually due to poor development at an early age. Unless this dysfunction is corrected at an early age our bodies adapt, and our overall health is sacrificed. Besides the obvious dental problems, other concerns can arise such as airway, posture, headaches, neck pain, ear congestion, and overall fatigue. Early intervention with correcting airway (adenoid and tonsil removal), and widening of the arch form is one consideration. To correct dysfunction later in life you should consider neuromuscular dental rehabilitation. This is a non surgical method to place the face, head, neck, and jaw at physiologic rest. Before agreeing that Buck Teeth is OK we should take a look at the cause of the dysfunction.

Mick said...

Nice one Eddie. You made me smile there and as a tribute i stuck out my top set of gnashers while I was about it. I reckon girls sporting a decent over bite are just triple hotness.

Always a pleasure to see yer silly sausage skewed opinions

Danny said...

buckteeth girls...
the upper lip looks fuller, the overbite has a hint of innocence and they often lead to this beautifully sensual half open mouth.
But given i also like John Barrymore noses on girls, freckles and a hint of cross-eyed-ness my taste seems to be a bit off..

Mick said...

well Ithought i was gonna be first to post and was heartily patting myself on the onions then in whips Kelly with her sick and twisted sound advice. i better not mention my residual third buttock around her dinner table lest i provoke a similar medical attack

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Kelly: Fascinating! It sounds like you know a lot more this than I do. Even so, I have some misgivings. The stereotypical person with buck teeth and weak chin has bad posture, but in real life does one usually accompany the other? I know two people with buck teeth who have very good posture.

Does buck teeth cause eating problems? Probably,if they're really extreme, but what about the more normal sizes? I'm not aware that I have more trouble eating than anyone else.

I heard that thumb sucking causes buck teeth but I read somewhere else that this is doubtful. Thumb sucking is so instinctive for kids that maybe we should think twice stopping it. When little kids are prvented from thumbsucking do they suffer from heightened anxiety and insecurity?

The Flea said...

Wow. . .now isn't that freakishly coincidental!

Just yesterday, my best friend and I were talking about unique visual traits that built the foundation for our personalities. While my friend mentioned his glasses, beard and height, I spoke of my "Jew-nose" (which, yes...I take much pride in), and as you've even mentioned, a weak chin.

I bet these traits would make for some really interesting caricatures. Oh yes! Yet another topic my friend and I discussed. . .Is it just me or have many celebrities lost their visual appeal through plastic surgery?

You look at the caricatures of people back in the day and you knew precisely who they were! Not only was it due to excellent observation, but the stars . . .well. . . . they just had those unusual or unconventional attributes. Rodney Dangerfield (in my opinion) was an interesting man to look -- his looks added to his charm. NO ONE looked like him! There will never be another Rodney Dangerfield!

Y'see all these actors and actresses. . . .they seem too perfect! Barbara Streisand was iconic for reasons other than her voice and personality (which I'm not too fond of, but y'get my point :p). Where are all of those special "imperfections" that add that kookiness to people? I enjoy that!
I've noticed that many cartoonists and animators (at least from around ol' NYC) take pride in their features. ;)

Thanks for the thought-provoking post!

Ryan G. said...

>>We evolved overbite and buck teeth to better masticate the gnarly fruits and bark to be found on high jungle branches.<<

Ha!

dfernetti said...

When I was a kid, I used to to have buckteeth. Why? Guess why, because they looked "cartoonish" to me. On the passing of the years I learned that in fact one can look like a cartoon even if one doesn't have buck teeth at all.

tina kugler said...

wow, GREAT mortimer snerd image!
why yes, i have big horsey choppers (not really "true" buck teeth but far from delicate ladylike teeth), which i was so self-conscious of that i BEGGED for braces as a kid and for years i would cover my mouth when i smiled or laughed.

Corey said...

NARF!

Kali Fontecchio said...

Yay for buck teeth!

Some Guy said...

I'm not sure if I have buck teeth in addition to an extreme overbite or if my overbite makes it seem like I hvae buck teeth, but in any case, this post makes me proud of it!

The weird thing is the original spanish soap opera Ugly Betty didn't have buck teeth.

Jennifer said...

Fun post, Uncle Eddie!

I've always preferred "quirkiness" over "perfection" in physical appearance. IMO, I think the "quirkiness" is what makes the person more attractive.

I'm with you, Uncle Eddie, re: buck teeth and health problems - I think the extreme cases, like the ones who have "Bugs Bunny" teeth, have problems, but for those who have a really slight overbite, I'm not completely convinced about the health problems.

Booo Tooons Ltd. said...

I feel I should point out that the girl has the 'Ugly Betty' look, because she IS Ugly Betty.

But she, like many of the photos you post, are not ugly in the least.

Yaay for bucks and Bugs!

- trevor.

Crumpled Up John! said...

I'm delighted to see so many buck-tooth'd images in one place! This is a slight bit off the subject but you've mentioned your fondness for Stephen Fry and I wondered if you'd seen his two part documentary 'Secret Life of a Manic Depressive.' It's nothing short of amazing.

Mariana said...

you are funny uncle eddie, I think I love you

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Crumpled: A new Stephen Fry documentary!? Wow! I'd love to see it! I'll check out YouTube!

Jennifer: THANK you!!!!!!! My opinion exactly! I love "character" faces!

Mariana: I love you too, and when your prison sentense ends in ten years, I and your dozen cats will be waiting for you outside the gates.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Some: You mean there really was an Ugly Betty!? The picture you linked to was interesting. The girl on the right looked better but then again she had better lighting.

Some Guy said...

Well it was the same girl in both pictures, but I agree, the girl on the right did have that great glossy Soap Opera lighting that almost makes colour have a black & white fuzzy beauty to it.

Some Guy said...

Hey, Eddie, I found another smart girl who used to hvae buck teeth! Hilary Clinton!

Some Guy said...

Actually, maybe they weren't buck teeth, since they seem normal in this picture, but in that one who also looks like Elastigirl from the Incredibles!

ChrisL said...

Eddie, have you had a chance to read Dan Clowes' short comic "Ugly Girls." Its a wonderfully lusty justification of the fascination (some) men have for strange, bookish girls with big teeth.

"Hello, I'm 'Charlie', another transparant D. Clowes stand-in, and I'm here to tell all you fellers in our reading audience that you don't know shit from shinola when it comes to BEAUTIFUL WOMEN! You drool over the likes of Marilyn Monroe or Kim Basinger or some fuggin' SUPERMODEL 'cause you got no aesthetics, man! LOOK AROUND YOU-- there are WORKS OF ART walking these streets and you're suckered-in by BORING, IDEALIZED, FANTASY BULLSHIT! What you crassly dismiss as 'ugliness' I find compelling! I'M RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG!"

@ someguy: Whoa! Holy! WOW! That first picture of Hillary is amazing. I once fell for a girl who kind of looked like her at that age. Her face had slightly cartoonier proportions though; bigger mouth and lips and she sort of had that perpetual, hang-dog expression. But boy, the rare times she did smile, it was a spectacular sight.

Anonymous said...

The human jaw is getting smaller. The temporal lobes of the brain are widening, and the sides of our skull walls are thinning. A large jaw requires a large muscle attachment, and a thicker skull wall.
We don't need to bite so hard or take kicks to the face anymore, so a smaller jaw can be seen as a cerebral step.

I believe I'm referencing Desmond Morris, or I'm lying.

-David

Anonymous said...

Uncle Eddie i have a weak chin and i used to have buck teeth before i had braces. I am very self concious about my weak chin(it almost goes straight into my neck), but this made me feel a whole lot better. Thank You!

Anonymous said...

Though thumb sucking, when affecting the occlussion, may result in an open bite and, yes, even overjet (the "official" name for buckteeth), it doesn't usually. In my case, though, it has and I can't get braces because I won't stop sucking my thumb.

Anonymous said...

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/buckteethlovers/

Plenty of buck toothed photos and comments here.
Does anyone know a dentist that will help give us buck teeth, for real?

Anonymous said...

I'm a girl in high school and have buck teeth thanks for this but I would do anything to change it

Anonymous said...

I have been attracted to men with buck teeth ever since elementary school and the love for them rwmains the same. My partner now has buck teeth ans he's one sexy beast!

Anonymous said...

Hi! I'm a 16 year old girl with buck teeth I live in NYC. To tell the truth I think I'm the only one around with it. My two front teeth sort of overlap the two teeth beside them and I feel very self conscious of it. Ive had 2 boyfriends and they never seemed to mind or mention anything of it. But some other kids have. I remember crying so much over what one girl had said to me. To tell the truth I never have really told my parents I'm self conscious of it, because I know that braces, Invisalign, dental work and check ups are pricey and they would feel obligated to get it fixed if I was uncomfortable with my teeth. However our family company had gone down hill after 50 years of business and that out budget now is pretty tight. With the parents I have they would feel like they have to go out of their way to make me feel like nothing has changed, but I don't really want to add more on their already overflowing plate. But after reading this, and a lot of the comments, I feel much better. Still self conscious, but I know that some people really don't mind and some even find it pretty. I know the inside is what counts, but listening to what some people say can still hurt, so this really helped a lot! ^^