Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Boy, I really made a mistake by starting the "Love nerds" blog so quickly, with only the smallest warning. Very few people had ready-made films to post, and making one from scratch is a big undertaking if you haven't done it before. I think I'll modify the Nerd site to accept still photographs as well as videos, and put a little less emphasis on romance. It would simply be nice to see the people who post here, so if you have a photo, send me a link and I'll post it on Love Nerds.
Anyway, the subject of romance is still heavy on my mind, so here's my latest thought on the subject. It's a question: what percentage of the crowd above...of the opposite sex in the crowd above...are likely to find your type of person appealing? What percentage would want to have a serious relationship with someone like you? Well, obviously there's no telling, but my strong hunch is that the number would be smaller than you think.
You look at any group photo and at first glance it looks like at least half of the people in it might find someone like you appealing, but look again. People have a lot of unconscious prejudices. The closer you look the more plausible it is that something about you might seem vaguely alien to some of these people. I'm not talking about racial or ethnic distinctions. I mean something more peculiar than that.
[Since all my photo reference is of women, I'll assume the reader is a guy.]
For example, smooth skin people (above) usually prefer to date other smooth skin people . If you don't have smooth skin, then you're just not on their list.
Some people (above) are realists. They just wouldn't feel comfortable dating head-in-the-clouds "artsy" types. Some artsy types have the same bias against realists.
Some people are in the fast lane and only want to date other fast lane types. Ditto the slow lane.
Some really nice girls are kind of pricey and high maintenance. Can you afford them?
Big-boned women are unfailingly kind, but their hearts belong to manly truck drivers.
Some girls are never without a boyfriend. Within 24 hours of breaking up, they're back in the harness again with a new guy. You can try to date them, but you better be prepared to digest a knuckle sandwich.
Some girls (above) only want to date Mr. Right. Maybe you don't fit that description. Maybe the girl has a fantasy about living with her lover in a Thomas Kinkade house with with heart-shaped throw pillows, and glass unicorns on wicker shelves. Maybe you're a grungeball.
Girls with very small mouths tend to date men with small mouths, why I don't know.
Maybe something about the girl bothers you. This girl's stare bothers me. I had a friend once who used to date a girl who stared at him. She didn't mean anything by it, but my friend found the stare withering, as if she had seen into his soul and found it lacking. He had to stop going out with her.
It's amazing that with so many obstacles that couples still seem to find each other. They say that half of all marriages don't work, but the flip side of that is that half of them do. That means there's a lot of happy people out there.