Sunday, June 28, 2009

THE EX-BOYFRIEND


INT. RESTAURANT: Lunch time.

Magnolia (Voice Over): "Yeah, all my boyfriends have been losers!"



Magnolia: "Oh, I don't mean you...I just mean...well, I have to wear dark glasses so they don't recognize me. What pests!"



Magnolia: "Really? You think it's okay to take them off here? Well, er...it is pretty crowded...I guess nobody could..."



Magnolia: "Yeah, nobody's gonna see me here! I'll do it!"



Fred (V.O.): "Magnolia! There you are!"






Magnolia: "Oh, Good Grief!"



Magnolia: "Hi, Fred. Fancy meeting you here!"



Fred (V.O.): "Magnolia, let's stop the pretense. I know that you're aware of me. For a long time I've watched you secretly. But for the past few days I've stopped hiding, and now I know that the moment has come."



Magnolia: "Um...the moment?"



Fred (V.O.): "Yes. You see, before discovering you I never loved anybody."



Fred (V.O.): But between us things will be different. "



Fred (V.O.): "We'll be the example for others to follow."



Fred (V.O): We'll never leave each other, not even for an hour."



Fred (V.O.): I don't work and have no responsibilities in life."



Fred (V.O.): "You will be my sole pre-occupation."



Fred (V.O.): "I understand that this is too sudden for you to say yes at once...that you would first have to break off your provisional attachments to provisional people."



Magnolia: "Well, actually it is just a little...."



Fred (V.O): "Just remember...I AM DEFINITIVE. I must go now."



Magnolia: Definitive...yes...definitive. Well, See you around Fred."



Magnolia: "Watch out for traffic!"



Magnolia: "Don't look the other way when a car comes!"



Magnolia: "Bye, now! Don't fall down any manholes!



Magnolia: "Is he gone?"



Magnolia: "Hey, the waiter didn't give us water! What kind of restaurant is this!?"



BTW: Dialogue is an altered version of a piece by Francois Truffaut.

16 comments:

Aaron said...

AWESOME! as always.

Gabriel said...

Truffaut is cool, and so was this post! Great work Eddie!

Niki said...

She's a scary lady.

Lester Hunt said...

Love those expressions on your face, Eddie!

Jennifer said...

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

Your expressions are priceless, and the text is hilarious. The costume is a great finishing touch.

I'd love to see that photo essay translated to a video.

Kali Fontecchio said...

So poopular!

Deniseletter said...

Hahahaha Yay!Which piece of Truffaut was?

Freckled Derelict said...

DEAR GOD your facial expressions are to die for!!! You would be perfect in silent films!!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Aaron, Gabriel, Lester, Jennifer, Kali, Denise, Freckled: Many thanks!

Niki: Scary? There are real people like that!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Gabriel: "Stolen Kisses!"

Hans Flagon said...

Do they give out Oscars for Fumetti?

Emily said...

Haha! Your expressions are great. Your posts are so neat! Thanks!

I think I've seen this film...

Jeff Zinn said...

Eddie, I jumped into your blog on a google for Delsarte which brought me to the posting for 9/18, 2007. You said, "I just re-read one of the Delsarte acting posts I put up months ago." Can you point me to the original post? I'm writing about early acting theories. Need more Delsarte stuff. You can contact me at jz@what.org Jeff Zinn

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Was googling 'how to tell someone they're stupid" and just happened on this website. So. Freeky. Funny. Been perusing the site for over an hour now - you, sir, are a genius and I think I love you. -Annie the Simp

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Annie: Thanks a million! I kinda' like this story too.