Monday, September 27, 2010


On frustrated Pizza Boy. The room is chanting and it's beginning to look like he'll never collect on the pizza.


PIZZA BOY: "Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Baaaad kitty! How do you expect to grow up to be a full-blown cat if you smoke those things?"

He picks up the cat.

PIZZA BOY: I think you outta give me those cigarettes. What do you think?"

ANGRY KITTEN (ACTUALLY AN ALIEN KITTEN): "I think if you don't put me down right now, I'm gonna bite your nose off!"

The kitten bites him and runs away.

PIZZA BOY: "(Big cry of pain)

The Great Leader perks up!


PIZZA BOY: "Er...I guess it was me. Sorry about that!"

PIZZA BOY: "And while I have your attention...I'm the pizza delivery boy! I'm here to deliver Delicious Goodness, The Food of the Gods!!! Eleven big ones, whaddaya say!?"

PIZZA BOY (WHISPERING): "I think the pie's kinda cold now, so I'll knock off a couple of bucks."

GREAT LEADER: "Wha...? How did he...? Who....? Kill him!!!! KILL HIIIIIIMMMMM!!!!!!!

ALIEN PRINCESS: "Too bad, Pizza Boy! I was beginning to like you!"

The princess leaps to her feet and fires a laser pistol at Pizza Boy. Every alien in the room does the same thing.


PIZZA BOY: "Be careful! You'll harm the pizza!"

Faithful to his duty to protect the precious pizza, the valiant delivery boy runs out of the house, all the time ducking heat rays.

GREAT LEADER: "If he gets away and alerts the authorities, our whole plan will unravel!  Get him!"

The Great Leader detaches from the TV.

THE GREAT LEADER: "I'm taking personal charge now! Everybody outside! He can't be far!"


ALIENS: "He could be anywhere! How do we find him!?"

THE GREAT LEADER: "You can't...but the zombies can. UNLEASH THE ZOMBIES!!!!!!"

ON THE HOUSE: Heavy steel doors are pulled apart and thousands of hungry zombies spill out into the street.

THE GREAT LEADER: "And just to be doubley sure....ROLL OUT THE SECRET WEAPON!!!"

INT. HOUSE: (SFX: FURIOUS POUNDING) Some one or some thing is pounding on the other side of a locked door. Frightened aliens cautiously open the locks then run away as the rusty chains slide to the floor.

GREAT LEADER (V.O.): "I almost feel sorry for the pizza creature....!"

GREAT LEADER: ".....almost...but not quite!!!!!!!" Bwahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!



INTENSE!!!??? You ain't seen nothin' yet! Is this the end for our hero? What on Earth is "The Secret Weapon?" And how can Pizza Boy hope to survive against these overwhelming odds?????? Find out in the next thrilling episode of....

****************************PIZZA BOY!****************************


RooniMan said...

The fate of Earth rests in Pizza Boy's hands.

Anonymous said...

I can't wait for the next installment, Eddie. Sounds like things are going to be blown way out of proportions. This should really be a cartoon.

Chip Butty said...


Pete Emslie said...

That alien zombie horde looks familiar. Were they the same rascals who'd gathered en masse in front of the Lincoln Memorial the other week? The zombie leader was particularly horrifying!

Severin said...

They didn't have to send in the zombie horde! If they want the pizza so badly they should've just said so.

pappy d said...

Fantastic, Eddie! You're a cyber-Eisenstein!

I'm gratified that you included a common frostback among the other aliens.

Aaron Long said...

This is just getting better and better!