THE KEY TO LAZY GARDENING

Half the people who come to Theory Corner are cartoonists, and I hate to say anything that'll offend them, but.....it has to be said....most cartoonists live in homes with ugly backyards (above). I wonder why that is? Maybe we just have our minds on other things. Maybe most cartoonists can't afford expensive landscaping. 

Lately I'm considering doing something about my own backyard (not shown here). It's not ugly, but it's not exactly beautiful either. I wonder what I could do to beef it up that would require almost no exertion and almost no money?

  

Here's (above) the same backyard as the one at the top, but photographed at a different time of the year. A big difference, huh? everything's in bloom and shrubs and fencing have been added. New grass, too. It looks a lot better.

You can learn a lot from comparing these two pictures. For me Lesson #1 one just jumps out at you: plant evergreen trees. The pine tree is the only plant in the two pictures that looked equally good in both winter and summer. The Wisteria tree (the weeping willow-type tree on the right) on the other hand, looked great in the warm weather photo (above) but almost vanished in the winter picture (top). lots of trees and shrubs are like that: great in the summer and horrible in the winter. I don't know about you, but I want a garden that looks good all year round.

Lesson #2: Wooden fences help a lot. I like the Japanese kind (not shown). If you're stuck with a neighbor's wire storm fence then grow thick, fragrant jasmine vines on it. Jasmine is free. You can grow it from cuttings.

Lesson #3: A nice ground cover helps. Grass usually requires mulching, and fussing over weeds that grow in the mulch. All of that violates the lazy gardener's code. The couple that laid down the grass in the top two pictures avoided mulching. They just cut the existing grass short then covered it with black landscapers fabric held down by rocks. After a few weeks the existing grass and weeds died under the fabric. New grass was planted and...well, you see the result.

Interesting, huh?

BTW: Thanks to Rogelio I'm able to identify the blog that I stole two of these interesting pictures from:
http://aubreyandlindsay.blogspot.com/2010/06/privacy-screen-project-final-reveal.html

THE OPENING OF "CLEAN SHAVEN MAN"

How 'bout a post about the opening of Dave Fleischer's "Clean Shavin' Man?" I love this film (above) because it's so cartoony and the plot is so simple.

Take a look at the background painting. It seems like the diner wall is right up to Bluto's back. And how did they ever manage to squeeze through that tiny door? No matter. The perspective is deliberately off and it works fine.

Olive Oyl walks through scene (above) singing "Clean Shavin' Man" and Popeye and Bluto ogle her. And no wonder...Olive is clearly the most sexy woman in all of classical full animation. I'm tired of beautiful women in classic cartoons. Beautiful girls just aren't funny....okay, Coal Black is, but she's the exception that proves the rule.

Anyway, Olive does a sexy strut back and forth through the scene and Popeye and Bluto go bananas. I love the look on Bluto's face which is simultaneously lecherous and completely innocent.

Geez, what does Popeye's chin remind you of? I can't believe the Fleischers got away with that!

I love the the fact that Olive is so close to them. The counter separating them is really only as wide as a plank, and the dishes on the counter are drawn as ovals to fit them in. That's the way cartoon characters should be sometimes...real close...violating each others space.

To save blog space I eliminated the closeups where Popeye and Bluto resolve to go to a barber shop. Here they get up together, which is funny. Look at the position of their arms, and how massive Bluto is.  

Bluto completely covers Popeye for an instant...

...and the two shrink in order to fit through the door. The way they walk out is treated as a gag, and it is...in fact, gags like this are some of the most important gags a film can have.

Olive Oyl is huge in the foreground. I love it when characters do something simple in the foreground while other characters do something more complex in the background.

Man. all this space and we've only covered the start of the cartoon!

JODIE FOSTER'S "THE BEAVER."

Every once in a while Hollywood comes out with a film that's genuinely thought provoking. One was "A Beautiful Mind" which posited that some mentally disturbed people can cure themselves.

No, wait a minute...that's not exactly right. Forget the word "cure." The film was actually saying that some mental problems don't lend them selves to a cure, and that the best solution for some people was to learn to live with their ailment, sans cure. The guy in the film never stopped seeing people who weren't there. He just taught himself not to acknowledge them, and that allowed him to have friends and hold down a good job.

Now comes another film that's saying something similar: Jodie Foster's "The Beaver." if you're put off by the subject matter, I don't blame you. A chronically depressed guy who communicates through a hand puppet is about the most off-putting subject for a film that I can think of. Even so, I'm glad I saw it.

Like I said, Mel Gibson's character is depressed. Therapy and pills don't work, so he attempts to cure himself by letting a hand puppet speak for him. The puppet can be garrulous and outgoing where Mel can't. The solution works fine. Mel makes a success of his ailing company, and reunites with his family. But there's a problem.....

Everyone's delighted that he's his old self again, but they can't see why he continues with the puppet. He's cured, so why not get rid of the toy? What they don't realize is that he's not cured, and may never be. They're so focused on the idea of a cure that they fail to see the miraculous advance that he made simply by learning to cope. It's an interesting distinction.

I'm no expert about these things, but it could be that even when cures are possible, they're not always desirable. You have to wonder if years of expensive therapy coupled with sedating pills rob some patients of their elan. Are they really better off after that kind of cure? The film posits that small odd behaviors may sometimes be a workable compromise. What appears odd may sometimes be a rational, even heroic attempt to deal with something genuinely scary.

I say "may." I just don't know enough about the subject to know.

MY FAMILY REUNION

EXT. UNCLE EDDIE'S HOUSE:

EDDIE: "Hey, it's me!!! We're having a family reunion at my house and you're invited! Just get in line and c'mon in!!!!!!" 

EDDIE GREETS EVERYBODY AT THE DOOR: 

EDDIE: "Aunt Matilda! How are you!!?? Uncle Fred! Long time, no see!!!, etc."

INSIDE:

EDDIE (VO): "Hey, what can I get you guys? Coke? Coffee? Tea? Juice? Water?"

AUNT MATILDA: "I'll have coconut water with radish blush sweetened with agave nectar. It must be no-carb, gluten-free, non-dairy and wafted with acai fumes and currant mist...the kind that comes in the peasant-woven basket." 

EDDIE (VO): Well gee Aunt Matilda, I don't know if I....." 

COUSIN LENNIE: "Hey, I found the liquor cabinet! Wahoooo!!!!!!"

EDDIE (VO) (TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT): "Hey everybody, look! It's Cousin Violet's new baby!!!!"

CROWD: "Awwwww! Isn't he adorable!?"

COUSIN PERCY: "And here's my new addition!"

CROWD: "Aaaaawwww!!!!!!!! Look at her! She's sooooo cute!"

COUSIN ROCHESTER: "Hey, get some pictures of my dog, Cuddles!"

CROWD: Nice dog, Cousin Rochester! He's so friendly!"

COUSIN ROCHESTER: "Yeah, go ahead and pet him! He loves people!"

INSIDE, LATER:

EDDIE: "Cousin Daisy, how's that kleptomania therapy coming along?"

COUSIN DAISY: "Er, uh....fine Eddie, just fine." 

ON PEOPLE LINED UP FOR THE BATHROOM:

COUSIN IRIS: "Cousin Gladys! Are you taking root in there?"

EDDIE: "COUSIN CHARLIE! COUSIN LUKE! What are you fighting about? Maybe you've had too much to drink!"

COUSIN CHARLIE: "We're not fighting, we're jush fooling around."

COUSIN LUKE: "Yeah. Don't take it sho seriously!"

5 MINUTES LATER: THE FAKE FIGHT HAS ERUPTED INTO A RIOT.

COUSIN CHARLIE: "You X#%@X#! I'll rip your face off!!!!

COUSIN LUKE: "Not before I tear out your jugular, moron!!!"

COUSIN JAKE: "'Pool's ready! Last one in is a rotten egg!"

SPLASH! SPLASH! EVERYBODY JUMPS IN.

EVERYBODY: "Hey, watch it, that's my foot." "Oh my Gawd! Is that an eye on my elbow?"

EDDIE : "Dinner's ready!"

CROWD: CHOMP! CHOMP! KARUMP! CHOMP! BITE! GNAW!

CROWD: "CHAW! MANGLE! STUFF! CRUNCH! 

LATER THAT NIGHT: (HUGE SNORES ALL OVER THE HOUSE).

(HUGE SNORES CONTINUE)

EARLY NEXT MORNING:

EDDIE: "AUNT MATILDA!!!!! Is that.....you!?"

LATER:

EVERYBODY: "Well, that's it Cousin Eddie! We gotta go! See ya next year!"

EDDIE: "See ya guys! Gee, I'm gonna miss you!"

COUSIN ROCHESTER: "C'mon! C'mon! Stop dragging!"

COUSIN JIMMY (ROCHESTER'S SON): "I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go!"

COUSIN ROCHESTER: "Okay, we're all packed! Hey, wait a minute. Where's Cuddles?"

EDDIE: "(Screams) HELP!!! HELP!!!!!!!!"

*************************

EUGENE O'NEILL'S "MOURNING BECOMES ELECTRA"

THEORY CORNER PRESENTS: "MOURNING BECOMES ELECTRA" (CONDENSED):

EXT. SOUTHERN MANSION: 1864:

DAN (VO): "Oh, my Gosh! The plantation is just the way I remembered it!"

DAN: "Now I can recuperate from my war wounds surounded by my loving mother and my sister Cathy, and by my stern but lovable father!"

MOTHER: "Cathy, will you get your brother a glass of water?"

CATHY: "Sure, Mom. 'Be right back!"

MOTHER: "Look, we only have a minute til your sister comes back, so I'll be brief. Your father's dead. That's him in lying in the corner. Your sister gave him rat poison so she could inherit his money. She almost got me too, but I figured it out."

DAN: "Father.....dead?"

DAN (VO): "R-r-rat poison???".

MOTHER: "There, there. Mother's here for you. Yes, she killed him. I told you she was no good."

MOTHER: "Um...what are you going to do about it?"

DAN: "Well...I guess I'll have to shoot her. Gee, I bought her a nice gift, too. Maybe I'll shoot her after I give her the gift. I want to see if she likes it."

MOTHER: "GASP! Did you hear that, my poor, dead husband!? He wants to give your killer a gift! What kind of wimpy son does a thing like that!!?????"

CATHY ENTERS THE ROOM WITH A GLASS OF WATER.

CATHY: "Here's the water. Er....anything wrong?"

MOTHER: "No, nothing. I just have a headache, that's all. I'll leave you two alone. Dan has something he wants to, er....talk to you about."

MOTHER LEAVES THE ROOM.

DAN: "You bet I want to talk! I.....mmmmph!!!!!"

CATHY: "Wait! Wait til the door is completely closed!"

CATHY: "Dan, you've gotta help me! Mom poisoned Dad and she tried to poison me, too! She wants all of Dad's money, even though she hated him and cheated on him every chance she got!"

DAN: "Have you no descency? How could you say such things about your own mother? You're not fit to touch the hem of her garment!"

CATHY: "If I did touch it, rat poison would fall out. She's got it in closets all over the house! For God's Sake, don't eat anything while you're here!"

DAN: "Okay....okay....maybe you're right! I'll shoot her right now!"

CATHY: "Good!!! Do it now before she talks you out of it!!!!!"

THE DOOR BURSTS OPEN AND THE MOTHER FLINGS HERSELF INTO THE ROOM.

MOTHER: "Dan! Dan! I was listening at the door! Can't you see that Devil of a sister is  manipulating you!? Shoot her now!"

DAN: "Yes, you're right. I'll shoot her now!"

CATHY PUSHES HER MOTHER ASIDE AND GRABS DAN.

CATHY: "Dan, for the sake of everything that's holy...free yourself from your demon mother! Do it!"

DAN: "Yes, I'll free myself from the demon!!!"

THE MOTHER PUSHES CATHY ASIDE, GRABS DAN:

MOTHER: "NO, free yourself from the witch, because that's what your sister is!!!!"

DAN: "Yes, free from the witch!"

MOTHER AND CATHY: (Unintelligible, rapid back and forth)

EXT. MANSION:

BAM!!!!!!!