Tuesday, May 30, 2006

WHAT IS A GIRL?

Here's a drawing I did for an ad advertising a show I used to work on. I had to cut and paste with real Scotch Tape and scissors because I didn't know how to use Photoshop. Anyway, this is the way I and a lot of other artists (I think we all took our cue from ace girl artist Lynne Naylor in those days) used to draw girls. I went on like this for years then one day it occured to me that I wasn't drawing them right. They just weren't funny enough. After thinking about it I decided to simplify things by starting with a fundamental question:

WHAT IS A GIRL?

No sooner had I asked the question than the answer popped into my mind. Like all great truths it was really simple. What is a girl? A girl is a guy with long hair and breasts! Why hadn't I thought of it before?

In the light of this revelation I further realized that the greatest girl artist ever was Don Martin. His girls pass with highest honors because they look just like men. And funny? They're as funny as a girl could possibly be!

Then it occurred to me to ask, "Why are we always drawing beautiful girls?" Beautiful girls aren't funny (except for Katie Rice's girls)! Funny girls are always too skinny or too fat, too old or too young. They include old bitties and battle-axes, gossipy teens and mean girl scouts. Blogger won't let me type in the font I need and it's screwing up my sentense spacing so I think I'll end this. BTW, these last 2 drawings are by by Milt Gross


43 comments:

David Omar said...

I don't know about everyone else, but nothing does it for me than nice, old, handsome vimin folk.

-David O.

David Germain said...

You left out Betty Boop. She was pretty and funny (or at least entertaining) at the same time.

I don't think there's any right formula for drawing a funny girl. Just draw her until she's funny. That philosophy ia a tad oversimplified, but I think it works.

David Germain said...

I also couldn't help but notice that this picture is taken from the titles of that Saturday Morning cartoon show The Wacky World of Tex Avery. Did you work on that abomination? It made my ribs hurt. There may have been noble intentions of bringing Tex's style back to animation behind this show, but it really didn't feel like something he would have done at all. It saddens me that his name was associated with it.

WIL BRANCA said...

Eddie,

What a strange coincidence: I was riding in a cab this morning on my way to work & happened to notice an attractive girl walking down the street. When I asked myself what I found attractive about her, I realized it was her slight overbite.

A few minutes later, I saw another pretty girl. This time, what I liked about her was her slightly crossed eyes.

Then it hit me! What if ONE girl had BOTH an overbite AND crossed eyes?!!?! She'd be a GODDESS!!!

Then I thought of you & your beautiful retarted girl drawings!

Lo & behold, I checked your blog as soon as I got to work & there you are talking about funny looking girls.

Ah yes, life is good!

Anonymous said...

"A girl is a guy with long hair and breasts!"

I believe that this particular Uncle Eddie Theory was even adhered to by the great Michelangelo, who applied this knowledge to his sculptures of women most scrupulously, as can be witnessed in the following picture link:

http://cybergreg.ekoweb.hu/medici/night.jpg

Of course it has been suggested that, in regard to women, Michelangelo was not altogether familiar with the subject...

Mitchel Kennedy said...

Chicks are like dudes, except better.

Funny post -- Milt is hilarious. =]

Gabriel said...

Evan, I don't think Mickey knows about sex...

Marc Deckter said...

Haha, those Milt Gross girls are too funny.

Hey Eddie - did you get the e-mail I sent you yesterday?

Gabriel said...

Oh, and that girl you drew maybe didn't do it to you because she might be kind of generic (I hope people don't get pissed by me saying this). Katie's girls have a lot of character and they're at times a pretty specific cartoony version of someone. I was really impressed by a post in her blog featuring herself and some high school friends, they were all cute yet very different from each other. I specially liked the friend who looks like and elf, I can

Gabriel said...

bah, my post got cut off, but you get the idea...

Anonymous said...

This all depends on what "funny" is--that is, is it more important that the character LOOK funny? As in distorted? I guess you'd say "Yes!" but if it's a girl character imho the humor can and should come from the situation, not the character being goofy-looking or "ugly". Take the Tex Avery Wolf cartoons: to make their impact the wolf has to be lusting after a gorgeous girl, not a "funny" one--and THAT'S funny. See what I mean?

Then there's the old grannies and the typical ugly/skinny Avery girls, etc,...but those are super broad and one note/one joke/ or shock characters. The more appealing a character design is, the more useful.
I agree with the person who said Katie does pretty, cute girls that are funny.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Holy Cow! I forgot to say that the cleanup of the girl I did was done by Shane...Shane,...AAAARRGGHH! I forget Shane's last name (it's not Glines)! Sorry Shane!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

David: Yep, I was a producer on the Tex Avery show. I can't speak candidly about it for obvious reasons but I did take away some nice memories. One day Tex's best friend walked in the door and showed us lots of original caricatures he did of his friends. I'll dig out the xeroxes I made and post them when I can.

-Eddie

TheFuzzyPubes said...

HAHA! Great post.

Anonymous said...

Of course, there was also Olive Oyl, one of the funniest girl characters ever, and she had neither long hair nor breasts.

Regarding the Tex Avery cartoons, Red and the Wolf are more in the Burlesque tradition, which typically paired up a beautiful girl with a "baggy pants" comedian for comic effect.

Anonymous said...

Hi Eddie

It's me Jesse. I think Katie Rice is the only cartoonist who can make pretty girls look funny. I do have one question for ya. Forgive me if it's an old question but here it is. Who do you think is attractive Willma or Betty?

Jesse

Anonymous said...

I'd have to say Betty, no contest. Betty was prettier, wittier,and overall happier in her marriage. Wilma had that unattractive hair do (and normally I like redheads)and she always seemed a little tired, but let's face it, life with Fred would siphon away anyone's will to live.

Marc Deckter said...

SPOT EDDIE

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Jesse: everybody's going to get mad at me for this but I don't think either Wilma or Betty is funny. What they are is an example of very skilled design. If you didn't know who they were and just saw their heads in a magazine, you wouldn't even associate them with comedy.

-Eddie

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Marc: GAAAAAAASP!!!!!! (paroxysms of heaving self-pity)! I have to run but this needs a comment when I get back!

Shawn Dickinson said...

Hi, Eddie! Thanks for laughing at my Jimmy Groynn comics!

Hey, you're right! The funny cartoon women are the one's that look like men. Don martin is the king of manly women! But you know, John K. says that Jessica Rabbit "looks like an ugly bald man with a wig, and the wig is sliding off the back of his head". And Jessica Rabbit isn't funny. Well, maybe she would be if everyone kept making fun of her the way John does.

By the way, it was great meeting you on Sunday! Too bad you didn't come by the party afterwards. I wanted to hear more of your theories.

Chris Merritt said...

Eddie: "Holy Cow! I forgot to say that the cleanup of the girl I did was done by Shane...Shane,...AAAARRGGHH! I forget Shane's last name (it's not Glines)! Sorry Shane!"

I was just about to congratulate you on a kick-ass clean up job, when I read that. Wow - Shane whoever has a good line!

Uncle Eddie - PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post those Tex Avery caricitures!

And what was the Tex Avery Show, and why can't you talk about it (for supposedly obvious reasons...)?

Anonymous said...

Eddie F.

I don't think Wilma & Betty are funny either. I just wanted to know who you thought was more cute. Also I definitly think Betty is more pretty then Wilma

Jesse

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Marc: "Catastrophe Cat" was an aptly named cartoon for me because it indirectly resulted in me being fired from Bakshi's. It happened like this:

A story was coming through the system that I had helped to write and had a lot of ideas for. The problem was that the schedule said I had to direct someone else's story first.

I was in a quandry because my mind was 100% on the story that I liked. I knew it could be my breakthrough story, the one where I could use all the new techniques I'd been saving up and really show what I could do as a director. I decided to take a huge risk and let the script I didn't like go through undirected. Clampett told me he did that once in order to devote twice the time to a story that he considered his own breathrough project. I figured what worked for Clampett just had to work for me. I rolled the dice and let it go through the system with no guidance at all.

Weeeeeelllll,...The film came back and it was, as the name implies, a catastrophe. It made no sense whatsoever. It looked like a bunch of randomn, unrelated drawings picked off the floor after a giant had thrown them in the air. I was shocked,...and so was Ralph. I was fired on the basis of a technocality but the real reason was that I was perceived as a bum for "directing" the cat cartoon so badly. The film I took the risk for was given to another director and I was out in the street.

At this point I'm reminded of autobiographies where the film star says. "It was the lowest point of my life. But then, just when I was ready to throw in the towel, a miraculous event occurred..." Well, there was no miraculous event. I just had to take it on the chin.

I hope I don't leave a bad impression of Ralph here. Only a short time later Ralph, at great risk, heroically stood up for his artists and by doing so made possible the whole animation revolution that was to come. There's no bad guys here, just a glimpse at the massive, mysterious, movement of the gears of destiny.

OK,there! Now you know the whole sordid story.

-Eddie

Anonymous said...

Only a short time later Ralph, at great risk, heroically stood up for his artists and by doing so made possible the whole animation revolution that was to come.

What he heck is that all about? He made possible the whole animation revolution? How so?

Marc Deckter said...

Oh geez Eddie! Maybe I shouldn't have made that post! Sorry if I reminded you of things you'd rather not be reminded of - I can take the post down immediately if you want me to!

Jennifer said...

Hi Uncle Eddie,

Great post! I never noticed that about "funny cartoon girls" until you pointed that out. I can see that now. The two that come to mind are the scrawy, old-hag, man-hungry granny in "Red Hot Riding Hood" and Olive Oyl. They both look like men.

To cableclair - I think you and I have the same taste in men. I think that Steve Buscemi and Jeremy Irons are really sexy! I also think that Jim Carrey is kinda cute. Jeremy Irons in "Elizabeth I"....yowza!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Marc: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! The grabs are wonderful! I'm so grateful!

Oh, I don't mind that the cat cartoon came up. Please keep it up.

Eddie

Marc Deckter said...

Haha - great!

*wipes sweat from forehead*

Anonymous said...

Hi Eddie

It's Jesse. I might have asked you this before but here it is again. What is your all time favorite Ren & Stimpy cartoon? I'm just guesing but I bet your favorite R & S cartoon could be either "Man's Best Friend", "Sven Hoek" or "Ren Seeks Help". You should put up some of your Ren & Stimpy drawings on your blog. That would be cool.

your pal,

Jesse

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Anonymous: I'm glad you asked about Ralph. I assumed everyone knew all about him but maybe they don't. I have some terrific stories about him and I'll write them up in another post.

-Eddie

Katie said...

Hi Eddie! I have a theory about girl drawings, although it's not directly related to this post. I think in a lot of comics and cartoons, girls are more like props than they are actual characters, like a chair or a car, you know? Whenever guys put girls into their stories, she's usually there to help out a gag, and in most cases a symbol can be used- a super hot vixen, or a butt ugly man-woman. I think you get a slightly different result when it's girls drawing girls though, since we see other members of our gender the same way men see other men- well sort of. Does that make sense? In any case, I love all types of girlie drawings, butt ugly, funny, super sexy, or whatever. I like the girl you drew, too!

Hey, do you remember the drawing you did of Michelle (spumco's phone girl) a couple years ago? It seemed like you drew it really fast, but it was a beautiful drawing! It reminded me a lot of how Milt Gross drew sexy girls, like Moronica or something. I wish I had stolen it from her!

David Germain said...

I think you get a slightly different result when it's girls drawing girls though, since we see other members of our gender the same way men see other men- well sort of. Does that make sense?

Hey, Katie, that reminds me of the "three finger rule" about drawing girls that I heard back in animation school. Have you heard of it?

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Katie: Good Point! And if Lynne Naylor, Nick Cross and other good girl artisis are reading this, I apologize for the slight.

-Eddie

Brian Brantley said...

Giving new meaning to cut and paste. LOL. Great drawing btw, even if you don't think it's very funny. I wonder if Katie doesn't draw men because she thinks of them as useless props.. Hmmmm. My theories are terrible. Hah!

Acetate (Frank Ziegler) said...

I must respectfully disagree with the "men with breasts" theory. I think it works better if the girls are pretty/appealing. I think the humor should come out in their "acting", then it seems even more funny to me. One of my favorites of Disney's was the Meg character from Hercules. The acting, the voice, the design just kill me on that one.

david said...

hahha i feel bad because i draw cliche pretty girls a lot. only because they are hard to nail down and i am always trying to draw the "perfect" sexy cartoony girl. But sometimes i draw ugly girls too. fat girls are always a blast to draw. I think ultimately it depends on the scene, what kind of girl you need. Like the preteen squeaky red riding hood, or the tex red hot riding hood, or the tex horny grandma. a perfect example of a wide range of different types of girls fitted for particular scenes. i think cartoon girls are the best when they have some goofy aspect on them amongst all the feminine features.

Anonymous said...

Eddie, no worries; you've already covered Lynne, no need to apologise for a possible slight to her abilities(or to Jim, or Chris, or. or. or...). You know she loves you and wouldn't take any offense. : )

Katie said...

David, what's the three finger rule?

and Brian, I like that theory! :)

David Germain said...

David, what's the three finger rule?

This is what teacher told us:

Whenever guys draw girls, especially attractive girls, specifically the crotch area they most often apply the "three finger rule", in that they leave a space between the legs big enough for three fingers to fit snugly between them. However, when girls draw girls, attractive or otherwise, those legs are locked together tight. There aint no fingers getting in there.

The crazy thing is though that both these ways are right depending on the girl. Some girls in real life have this three finger space, some don't. It's the same way with guys too really (although is harder to tell because there's *ahem* something in the way).

Have you heard of this rule, Eddie?

Anonymous said...

Some girls in real life have this three finger space, some don't.

Yeah, "some girls: 9 year old kids and 19 year old supermodels and 99 year old grannies, plus anorexics of any age, usually have a TWO finger span. Three? That's an anorexic on their deathbed! ; )

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

David: So THAT'S the Three finger Rule! (Blush!)

-Eddie

Willie Baronet said...

Hmmm. I like your girl better. :-)