MY THANKSGIVING DINNER (PART 2)

The family commences to do some serious chowing down.

None of the pies last very long.

UNCLE EDDIE: "Er....Grandma, are you feeling calm now?"

GRANDMA: "Yeah, I love to watch the family eat on Thanksgiving."

UNCLE EDDIE: "Really? You're completely at ease, at one with the universe?"

GRANDMA: "Sure.  Why do you ask?"

UNCLE EDDIE: "Well, I was thinking of poor Cousin Lester and his friends out there in the bushes, and....."

GRANDMA (FURIOUS): "YOU MEAN THEY'RE STILL OUT THERE!!!???"

She grabs a bat and runs outside.

Grandma: "Those good-for-nothings! I'll KILL them! I'll MURDERIZE 'em!"

INSIDE: the dog steals Grandma's food.

ALSO INSIDE, AT THE TABLE:

GRANDPA: "Haw! Go get 'em Grandma! ....Geez, I can't talk with these false teeth getting in the way."

He plops the teeth in his drinking glass.

GRANDPA: "I'll just put them in water for awhile."

Everybody stops eating..

GRANDPA: "What's the matter? Why isn't anybody eating? Aren't you hungry?"

EVERYBODY (TURNING GREEN AT THE SIGHT OF THE TEETH): "All of a sudden we're not so hungry."

GRANDMA'S FRIEND TRUDY: "You're hungry, alright! I'm not gonna let that food go to waste!"

PIMPLETINA: "EEEEEEEWW!!!!! There's a piece of vegetable on my meat! I'm not gonna eat this X%$#X stuff!"

PIMPLETINA: (WAILS)

PIMPLETINA'S MOM: "Listen, young lady! You're gonna eat every bit of that, or else!"

PIMPLETINA: "Or else, WHAT!???" 

Pimpletina socks her mom and her mom socks her back.

The room divides into two angry camps and a food fight breaks out.

Beauregard stands up, attempts to make peace.

BEAUREGARD: "Hey, hey, hey! Let's handle this like civilized human beings!"

Howie slaps a pie into Beauregard's face.

HOWIE: "Shut up, Beauregard!"

The food fight intensified into a full-scale riot.

So that's it. I couldn't snap any pictures after that. All in all it was a great Thanksgiving. Boy, I love that holiday!

BTW: This is a work of fiction and none of the pictures belong to me. All are copyrighted by the original photographers or the subsequent buyers.  

ANOTHER "MY DINNER WITH ANDRE" (ACTUALLY JOHN K)

Today we met again at "The Bear Pit," a local sawdust-on-the-floor barbecue restaurant with Preston Blair - style paintings all around the walls. When I came in John was reading The National Enquirer, which is essential reading for cartoonists since it contains all the necessary info about what stars have cellulite. Orders were placed and the conversation commenced.

We began with a fascinating discussion of Scribner but that'll require a lot of pictures to explain, so I'll save it for last.

After Scribner we talked for a bit about how old I look in those photo essay pictures I took. Maybe anticipating an outpouring of self-pity, John kindly said I didn't look that old in real life, but really, that wasn't necessary. I explained that I'd reached an advanced philosophical level where I was beyond worldly concerns like screamingly grotesque wrinkles. People at my elevated level laugh at people who worry about things like that. "Ha!", we say, "Ha!"

Then we talked for a while about what tragic creatures men are. Poor men spend their whole lives chasing after sex and get only a fraction of what they need. John said that's why men have to go to war, because somebody has to be made to pay for our frustration at not being able to have a harem.

Talking about sex brought us around to Tex Avery, maybe the most heterosexual director of the color cartoon era. We both agreed that after Clampett, Tex was the greatest cartoon director. Jones ranks third, which is still a very high position.

Jones was all about telling linear stories in a humorous, well-executed and professional manner. Clampett was a creature of the big band and jitterbug era, and also of the golden age of radio and live-action film comedy. He swam in media. He had street smarts, charisma and almost unfailing intuition. In John's words, he made cartoons an "experience."

Somehow (?) this digressed into a discussion of Tim Russert (spelled right?), the TV news commentator. Russert used to be a rock & roll promoter and he still looks like someone who could tell a good dirty joke. You have to admire the guy for his ability to re-invent himself as a news commentator. Here's (above) a napkin drawing John did of him. I like the Thurber arms and serious expression.

Here's (above) what we talked about most of the time. John's been telling me that the new Warner set contains a break-through print of Clampett's "Eatin' on the Cuff." He said the amazing clarity of the print allows us to see never-before-seen (by this generation) nuances in the cartooning and animation, and that this necessitates a re-evaluation of the film as one of Clampett's best. He makes the case in a wonderful post that's on his site now:

http://www.johnkstuff.blogspot.com/

I'd already read the blog and I had to admit that John was right. Take a look at these Scribner drawings. The happy energy, the love of cartooning, the inventive poses, the beautiful proportions and attention to detail are awe-inspiring! I love the wrinkled sleeves...who said you can't animate wrinkled clothing? The black and white values are handled so well that you don't even miss the color.

Notice that the girl looks feminine and funny at the same time. Scribner was able to do both! After seeing this it's going to be hard to go back to seeing cartoon girls that are only one or the other.

Here the Veronica Lake spider shows off her glorious schnoz. Note the big hands and big eyes. My favorite cartoon characters usually have big hands and eyes. That's what you make expressions with. In my world only secondary characters have small hands and small eyes.

Here's (above) a wonderful example of Scribner cartooning. It's just a back shot, yet it leaves me breathless! The hair and large lower body are hilarious and the size and orientation of the legs are inspired!


You can say that real girls don't look like that, but are you sure? I see girls (above) who are a bit like that all the time.

Anyway, I digress. We talked endlessly about Scribner and spent some time trying to figure out why Clampett, who was very prolific in his black and white period, turned out fewer cartoons a year in his color period. Maybe he was busy developing his own projects on the side, maybe good work requires more time. We could only guess.

Anyway, the conversation eventually ran out of gas and we found ourselves out in the blinding sunlight of the parking lot, ready to face another day!

THEORY CORNER - SCIENCE SECTION

The reason is that the normal human attention span for just about anything is probably only two or three minutes. When the limit is reached people collapse then have to summon the strength to begin a new round of attention. The guy in the drawings wasn't bored, he was actually intensely interested in what was going on around him. He simply reached the end of his attention span.

So far as I know this important phenomenon was discovered by John Krisfalusi. One day I met John for lunch and I found him animating flipbooks on the restaurant table. Most of the books were funny, I wish you could have seen them, but one one book in particular stood out. It showed a guy getting a glassey-eyed stare, collapsing then straightening up again. I asked John what it was and he said he was just animating what the people at the other tables were doing. I stared at those people while John made more flipbooks and that's when I noticed what I drew above. Every single person at every table got a glassey stare and collapsed every few minutes. It's subtle, and I probably would never have noticed it if I hadn't been for the flipbook, but when you know what to look for it's unmistakable.

Interesting, huh?