THE BOYFRIEND STORY

Kali: "Oh, Eddie! It's so wonderful to be here with you!"

Uncle Eddie: "Yeah, just the two of us, all alone."

Kali: "Alone? Um, Eddie...the thing about us being alone..."

Uncle Eddie: "Yes, Sweetums? Dove pie? Sugar eyes? "

Kali: "Well, I...um... have problems with an ex-boyfriend. He follows me everywhere! It's not my fault! I can't get rid of him!"

Uncle Eddie: "Boyfriend? You mean that goofy guy with the square glasses?"




Uncle Eddie: "Haw, Haw! Boy, Kali, you sure can pick 'em! You leave him to me! I might have to rough him up a little, but I won't hurt him too bad!"






Kali: "I'm...er... glad you feel that way, Eddie..."



Uncle Eddie: "Huh!?"



Uncle Eddie: "Glack!"

Boyfriend: "Who's your friend Kali?"

Boyfriend: "Ya like that coke? It's a good coke, isn't it? Nice and cold?"

Uncle Eddie: "The coke? Well, uh...yeah...it's my favorite...

(CRUSH!!!!!)

Uncle Eddie: "Well, I've gotta go now! But first I have to tell you Sir, that I'm impressed, yes, impressed with what a lovely couple you make! Call me old-fashioned but I believe the very heart and soul of the country depends on the eternal bonds made by lovebirds like yourselves! Blessings upon you, Sir! Blessings!"

Uncle eddie: "Be seeing ya!"

Uncle Eddie: (Whistles)

All pictures stolen from Nico's site, cited below! Thanks, Nico! Be sure to take a look at Nico and Kali's version of this! Those links are also below. Thanks to Jorge I reinstated the cup-crushing sequence that my computer wouldn't let me put up originally. Cup-crushing is a beautiful thing!

THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERKALI!

IT'S SUPERKALI!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES, IT'S THAT STRANGE BEING FROM ANOTHER WORLD! RAISED BY GOOD, HARD-WORKING FOSTER PARENTS IN IOWA...FORTIFIED BY A REPORTER'S JOB IN PHILADELPHIA...THE INFANT FROM KRYPTON IS NOW THE WOMAN OF STEEL......

SUPERKALI!!!!!!

Superkali: "Hi, ordinary mortals! I'm about to capture the arch-fiend, Lex Luther! There he is now! You can watch while I punch him out!"

Luther: "Ho Hum! Looks like Superkali again."

Luther: "When will she ever that learn that she's no match for my army of atomic super-zombies!

Superkali: (out of breath) "OK, Lex Luther! Put up your dukes! You're cruisin' for a brusin' and I'm the one to give it to ya!"

Luther: "Oh, really? How amusing! Why don't you give it instead to...(he transforms)....SUPERZOMBIE!!!!!!!

Luther: 'Fellow Zombies! Arise! Arise!!!! WHOOO! WHOOOOO!!!! (the call of the zombies)"

Luther: "Zombie #2! Grab her quick!"

Lutther: "Aw, you look so stressed, Superkali! Why don't you relax with a nice warm bath...of sulfuric acid!!!! BWAHaHaHaHaHA! Poe, you are avenged!

Luther: "Relax, Zombie #2. Let's smoke a pencil and savor this moment.

Zombie #2: "Thanks, but I only smoke pens. Here, try a Bic!"

The players: Ryan (who photographed most of this). Nico, Kali and Eddie.

The two zombie pictures were photographed by Kali.

All of these picture were stolen from Nico's MySpace site, John's blog and Kali's blog.

http://www.myspace.com/nicocolaleo

http://kalikazoo.blogspot.com/

http://www.johnkstuff.blogspot.com/

ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE'S FAIRIES

I'm too sleepy to put up a decent post but here's an interesting quick and dirty one. These (above and below) are the photos that convinced Doyle of the existence of fairies!

The girl in the picture above seems to be completely unaware of what I assume are dancing illustrations superimposed below her.

Imagine the creator of Sherlock Holmes being taken in by pictures like these! No matter, I still love Doyle and my respect for the man is only slightly diminished by the gaff. Most, if not all, of us will believe in something silly that we'll regret later. You can't blame him for being human.

Holmes is one of the greatest characters in all of fiction, some would say the very greatest. At the core of every story is an intriguing mystery and surrounding it is the endlessly fascinating lifestyle, moral character, courage, intellect, playfulness, earnestness and capacity for friendship of the famous detective. Holmes always changes and improves the person who reads about him. Doyle was said to have been surprised by the success of his detective stories. He thought the book everyone would remember would be "The White Company," about crusaders, I think. The Wyeth illustration above is from that book. I don't know anything about it, but if Doyle thought it was his best then that's reason enough to read it. I'll put in a save at the library.

THE ART OF PENCIL TWIRLING!

I'm still obsessed with pencil twirling! I tried it for half an hour before writing this and I can already see the improvement! Learn it yourself and we can have duels at the drawing table!

















Whit, thanks for putting me on to this! I knew about cigarette twirling but it never occurred to me to do it with a pencil til you mentioned it!

CLARA BUTT SINGS "LAND OF HOPE & GLORY"

You've heard this music before under the title "Pomp & Circumstance." In America it's the standard music played at school graduations. What you might not have heard is the core of that music performed as a song with some of the most stirring British patriotic lyrics ever written.

The version linked to here is my all-time favorite by Clara Butt ( yes, that's her name), who recorded it in 1911. Clara sounds the way Margeret Dumont from the Marx Bros films might have sounded, if Dumont could have sung. The voice sounds funny for a moment but when you get used to it, it's immensely moving and sincere.

Here's Clara's autograph on a picture of Britannia. It's a big, sentimental, and dignified signature, full of character. It's said that when you acquire character, you acquire a destiny. Clara's destiny was to be a major support for English morale during WWI.

I actually have an original autograph of hers, given to me by Steve Worth, who's also a Butt fan.....um, maybe I should have rephrased that. Anyway, thanks, Steve!

Here's (below) the lyrics for "Land of Hope and Glory. " Just to establish a mood I thought I'd combine them with a picture that would call to mind the glory days of the British Empire. Sad to say, I didn't find any first-rate pictures on that subject, so here's (above) a picture on a related subject, that of British sea power. This is from the Battle of the Nile, fought during the war with Napoleon.

LAND OF HOPE AND GLORY

Dear Land of Hope, thy hope is crowned.
God make thee mightier yet!
On Sov'ran brows, beloved, renowned,
Once more thy crown is set.
Thine equal laws, by Freedom gained,
Have ruled thee well and long;
By Freedom gained, by Truth maintained,
Thine Empire shall be strong.

Land of Hope and Glory,
Mother of the Free,
How shall we extol thee,
Who are born of thee?
Wider still and wider
Shall thy bounds be set;
God, who made thee mighty,
Make thee mightier yet.

Thy fame is ancient as the days,
As Ocean large and wide:
A pride that dares, and heeds not praise,
A stern and silent pride:
Not that false joy that dreams content
With what our sires have won;
The blood a hero sire hath spent
Still nerves a hero son.


Here's (below) where the song can be found on an mp3 format. If you intend to listen to it more than once, will you download it to your own computer so we don't tax the bandwidth of the parent site?

http://www.firstworldwar.com/audio/landofhopeandglory.htm

If the link doesn't work (it looks like the final "l" is missing), just google the title of the song.

THE WORLD OF SMOKING VIDEOS

I haven't drawn anything for the site in a while so I thought I'd look up some good smoking scenes on YouTube and draw them. To my surprise I didn't find any! Maybe it's because I got distracted by all the bizarre offerings on the sidebars. More on that in a minute! Anyway, here's (above)the best one I found, from one of the Dr. Mabuse films. It gets boring after the first minute but the opening pan of the smokers is brilliant!!! When I was a kid eating in restaurants was like that.





Here's (above) why I got distracted. There's a kazillion clips on the sidebar menus showing girls smoking. Nothing else, just girls sitting there smoking! A lot of them are goths and they blow smoke right at the camera just to let you know who's boss!






Here's another girl smoking. This one amazed me because it proved that urban men and women exist in different worlds. In the clip a girl sits down and smokes nervously beside a TV set, under some plastic leaves. What kills me is that she has complete confidence that tens of thousands of men will be interested in seeing her do that... and the weird thing is, she's probably right. After all, I watched.

What strikes me is that if I sat there with a cigarette, doing the exact same thing, NOBODY would watch it, not even my mother. Not even me! I don't know what lesson there is to be learned from this, but I thought I'd pass it along anyway.





Here(above)was an even bigger distraction! A girl blows smoke into the viewer's face while commanding him to send her money! She promises to use the money to treat her boyfriend to dinner at the viewer's expense. Believe me, she's serious! I had no idea this stuff was going on! I'm dying to know if she's making making money at it!

I won't go into all the other genres I discovered, all with a connection to smoking. There's tons of clips of close-ups of long-nailed women smoking and there's lots of "smoking ands": smoking and socks sites, smoking and shoes, smoking and glasses, smoking and pets, smoking and underwear...everything!





Here's (above) a really good clip of Jerry Lewis trapped in an elevator with a smoker. I posted this before in another context but it won't hurt to reprise it here.





I'm still marveling that the girl makes all that money with the "you-vile-worm, send-me-your-money-clips." Just to clear our heads, here's (above) a clip of a guy twirling a cigarette around his fingers like a baton. I swear I'm going to learn how to do this with a pencil! Every artist should know how!

APACHE DANCE, ANYONE?

What do you guys think of Apache Dancing? That's the dance where the sleazy boyfriend beats up his prostitute girlfriend because she won't share her money with him.

Everybody associates the dance with France but I'll bet it got started in Spain. The Spanish have a flare for this sort of thing. Look at Flamenco and Tango...or is tango purely an Argentine dance?

Here's (above)a must-see apache dance from TouTube. Don't be put off by the silly beginning. It heats up real fast.





For purists here's (above) a clip from a Parisian apache from 1934. Nifty, huh?