PIZZA BOY (PART VI) (REVISED)

On frustrated Pizza Boy. The room is chanting and it's beginning to look like he'll never collect on the pizza.

PIZZA BOY: (GASP!!!)

PIZZA BOY: "Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Baaaad kitty! How do you expect to grow up to be a full-blown cat if you smoke those things?"

He picks up the cat.

PIZZA BOY: I think you outta give me those cigarettes. What do you think?"

ANGRY KITTEN (ACTUALLY AN ALIEN KITTEN): "I think if you don't put me down right now, I'm gonna bite your nose off!"

The kitten bites him and runs away.

PIZZA BOY: "(Big cry of pain)

The Great Leader perks up!

GREAT LEADER: "WHO SAID THAT!!!!???????"

PIZZA BOY: "Er...I guess it was me. Sorry about that!"

PIZZA BOY: "And while I have your attention...I'm the pizza delivery boy! I'm here to deliver Delicious Goodness, The Food of the Gods!!! Eleven big ones, whaddaya say!?"

PIZZA BOY (WHISPERING): "I think the pie's kinda cold now, so I'll knock off a couple of bucks."

GREAT LEADER: "Wha...? How did he...? Who....? Kill him!!!! KILL HIIIIIIMMMMM!!!!!!!

ALIEN PRINCESS: "Too bad, Pizza Boy! I was beginning to like you!"

The princess leaps to her feet and fires a laser pistol at Pizza Boy. Every alien in the room does the same thing.

;

PIZZA BOY: "Be careful! You'll harm the pizza!"

Faithful to his duty to protect the precious pizza, the valiant delivery boy runs out of the house, all the time ducking heat rays.

GREAT LEADER: "If he gets away and alerts the authorities, our whole plan will unravel!  Get him!"

The Great Leader detaches from the TV.

THE GREAT LEADER: "I'm taking personal charge now! Everybody outside! He can't be far!"

EXT., THE GROUNDS AROUND THE HOUSE:

ALIENS: "He could be anywhere! How do we find him!?"

THE GREAT LEADER: "You can't...but the zombies can. UNLEASH THE ZOMBIES!!!!!!"

ON THE HOUSE: Heavy steel doors are pulled apart and thousands of hungry zombies spill out into the street.

THE GREAT LEADER: "And just to be doubley sure....ROLL OUT THE SECRET WEAPON!!!"

INT. HOUSE: (SFX: FURIOUS POUNDING) Some one or some thing is pounding on the other side of a locked door. Frightened aliens cautiously open the locks then run away as the rusty chains slide to the floor.

GREAT LEADER (V.O.): "I almost feel sorry for the pizza creature....!"

GREAT LEADER: ".....almost...but not quite!!!!!!!" Bwahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!

GREAT LEADER (CONT): "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

GREAT LEADER (CONT): "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


INTENSE!!!??? You ain't seen nothin' yet! Is this the end for our hero? What on Earth is "The Secret Weapon?" And how can Pizza Boy hope to survive against these overwhelming odds?????? Find out in the next thrilling episode of....

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DON"T BE IMPATIENT!!!!!!

I'll put up the next episode of  PIZZA BOY sometime during the day on Sunday!

HOMEMADE HALLOWEEN MASKS

Nice work (left), huh? But I'm afraid I don't have a name to go with the image.

I'd call this (above) a mask. Sort of.

This (above) isn't exactly homemade, but it looks that way, so I'll include it.

                                            This kid's (above) got talent!

Above, kid masks displayed on black velvet. I LOVE stuff like this. If you're an adult, you can't fake that kid sensibility. Hmmm. I wonder if kids could be persuaded to sell the masks they make?

I love masks that attempt to depict ordinary people (above). 
         

Good Grief! It's John Travolta (above, left) and Elsa Maxwell (below, right)!

Above, another mask depicting an ordinary citizen. Masks like this one are a great comment on the human race. We try to be hip, famous, beautiful, debonair...but paper mache masks reveal that we're basically just bags of guts on stilts. It's humbling.

Above, a real human face has been captured and branded by color that simply oozed out of the ether beside the person. I always think of color as a strangely malevolent thing that tries to dominate us, maybe  even eat us, when we attempt to manipulate it.

Or maybe malevolent isn't the word. Color is just...indifferent to us...it has its own high-energy, anarchic nature, and only the most fearless and skilled human beings can successfully harness it. 

Wow! Nice color (above) on that yellow mask!

Good Lord! A face (above) like a sting chord!

You have to marvel at the way masks convey emotion so directly and powerfully. 

Above, the artist decided to use the crumpled look that paper mache often has.

Above, a macaroni and glue creature.  It's a nice stand-alone sculpture,  but you might use it as a mask or a hat.

ABOUT THE TEMPLE GRANDIN FILM

Thanks to a Marcelo who, in a comment, turned me on to the Temple Grandin film. Holy Cow! It was great! I also listened to the commentary, which featured autism victim and cattle pen designer Temple Grandin herself...and I took some notes, which I'll reproduce here. Most of them are a simple statement of what Grandin believes, which may not be news to her fans, but should interest those who don't know much about her. I'll end with my own thoughts.

I love Grandin's way of thinking, which is so practical. She notices that cattle are comforted by snug confinement on the sides, and figures that humans would probably react the same way.  She made a "squeeze machine" for herself and used it to calm herself when she got anxiety attacks. If you're autistic, that's a big deal. Thanks to Grandin you can buy these things on the internet. It's important, though, that the user controls the experience.

• She's not alarmed when autistics do repetitive motions. She says it's their way of shaking off sensory overload. They can be taught to limit it to, say, an hour a day.

She continues to take anti-anxiety pills, preferring old types that are cheap and in the public domain now.

• Visible autistic behavior lessens as you get older, maybe because you have more experiences to draw from by then. She says autistic kids desperately need frequent social and educational stimulation, but not to the point of overload. Teach kids even if they don't appear to be learning. Prompt them to memorize.
• Autistic kids respond well to animals. Odd that they don't seem to mind animals touching them, just humans. 

That's it for the notes. I wish I could ask Grandin about some things that weren't in the film. She makes a good case for tactile and picture learning, but how would she teach abstract subjects like algebra and French to autistics? In the commentary she says she would have autistics bypass algebra and go directly to geometry and trig, which are visual. Hmmm, maybe, but what about French?

The subject interests me because I was always an unexciting "C" student in these subjects (algebra and French), even though they interested me. I could never figure out my resistance to them. There must be a better way to teach this stuff, but I have no idea what it would be.

Decades later I developed a taste for French rhetoric and musical lyrics. I like the sound of them even though I don't know what they mean. I'll do a blog about my favorites soon, and see if you don't feel the same way. As long as you know a little about pronunciation, you'll find yourself compulsively reading these stirring and romantic texts out loud.

Autism interests me because people who are victims of it, and who succeed in spite of it, are forced to learn everything in an unconventional way. It's an insight into another way of learning and thinking. Maybe there's something there that could help normal people too.

BTW, I like the way Claire Danes looks in the film (left). Maybe it's the hair.

Here's (left) the way she wears it when she's being herself. She looks like a different person. I prefer the film look. Straight hair isn't for everybody.

PIZZA BOY (PART IV)

ON THE SPOOKY OLD HOUSE (COPYRIGHT BY DANIELE MONTELLA). THIS IS THE STAGING AREA FOR THE ALIEN INVASION OF EARTH:

MENACING ALIENS (CHANTING) (V.O.): "Kill the Pizza Boy! Kill the Pizza Boy!"

MENACING ALIENS (CHANTING): "KILL THE PIZZA BOY! KILL THE PIZZA BOY!!!"

MESSED-UP ALIEN: "Wait a minute! I don't blame him for not taking off his disguise! I just tried to put mine back on again and I can't remember where anything goes!"

BIG CONICAL ALIEN: "Same here! I took off mine and now I don't know how I'm ever gonna get it back on again!"

BIG CONICAL ALIEN: "I keep mine on all the time, but it's really uncomfortable. I wish I could take it off."

ALIEN: "Er, maybe we were a bit hasty."

ANOTHER ALIEN: "Yeah, Dude. Sorry about that!"

PIZZA BOY: "That's okay! No biggie!"

PIZZA BOY: "Look, I gotta go, but....."

PIZZA BOY: "...but I can't help asking: somebody here ordered this pizza...don't you still want it? It would be a shame if it went to waste, and it's only eleven bucks. "

HUNGRY ALIEN: "That was me! I ordered it! But it's not for me. I only eat Earth women."

ON A BABY, EATING A BOX.

HUNGRY ALIEN (V.O.): "It's for her. She likes to eat the box!"

PIZZA BOY: "The box!!?? Hmmm. Well...I, er...guess I could give you some kind of discount."

GIANT ALIEN HEAD:  "Hey, everybody! It's time for The Great Leader's broadcast!!!"

FEMALE ALIEN: "Oh, my gosh! The Great Leader!!!!!"

All aliens rush to take their places around the TV.

ALIEN VIEWERS: "Oh, boy! Transmission from the mother ship is especially clear tonight!"

ALIEN KIDS (THEY CHANT TOGETHER): "All hail to the grand and glorious GREAT LEADER! All hail to the great and glorious GREAT LEADER!""

ALIEN WOMEN (THEY CHANT WITH THE KIDS): "All hail to the grand and glorious Great Leader!"

THE ENTIRE ROOM (EXCEPT PIZZA BOY) (CHANTING TOGETHER) (V.O.): "All hail the grand and glorious GREAT LEADER!"

OH BOY!!! WE'RE IN THE THICK OF IT NOW!!!  WHO OR WHAT IS THE GREAT LEADER!!!????  WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO PIZZA BOY WHEN THEY MEET!??????? WHAT WILL BE THE FATE OF DEAR OLD PLANET EARTH!!!??????? DON'T MISS A SINGLE PIXEL OF THE NEXT THRILLING EPISODE OF.......

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