It's a strange to think that sci-fi writer Ray Bradbury, the sweetest guy in the worl, a guy who likes just about everybody, can't stand me. I still don't understand exactly what I did. I'll tell you what I know and maybe you can figure it out.A few years ago I went to hear him speak at a church auditorium near UCLA. It was a few days before Christmas and there were actually snowflakes in the air, a rarity in LA. I was feeling great, not only because of the holiday but because that very day I'd figured out what I thought was the true meaning of Clement Moore's "Night Before Christmas." I told my friends about it but they didn't seem very impressed. It occurred to me that maybe Ray Bradbury would be a more receptive audience.
Ray's speech was wonderful and afterward he offered to sign books, including books of his that people brought from home. I didn't have a book but I got in line and patiently waited my turn. When I finally got up to him I was almost bursting at the seams. "Ray" I said. "I figured out why "The Night Before Christmas" is the most famous Christmas poem! I can tell it to you in less than a minute!!!"To my surprise a suddenly grimacing Ray leaned into my face and said something like: "Oh, you're a big man aren't you!? You know more than the rest of us don't you!? You're Mr. Bigshot aren't you!!!??" I was shocked. I could think of nothing else to do but a Ralph Cramden lip quiver: "Humna-humna-humna-humna!" I left the line and felt his stare on my back all the way out the door into the snowflakes.
Did I get him on a bad day? Maybe, but a few weeks ago I went to hear him speak again and he refused to look at me even though I was seated in the front row, right infront of him. There was a long awkward silence when no one could think of a question to ask and even then he wouldn't acknowledge me. He just looked around either side of my (tastefully) waving hand. You'll have to take my word for it that I didn't act in a way that any one else would find off-putting. Maybe I have the wrong pheronomes. Anybody have a thought about this?
43 comments:
Well who the hell does he think he is??
You're Eddie freakin' Fitzgerald!
If Ray is ever man enough to work at Spumco, then I'll be impressed! But until then, he can keep his lousy martian stories.
Perhaps he managed to take the whole "Night Before Christmas" thing personally. I can't imagine how, but stranger things have happened.
So what about your take on the Night Before Christmas? Are you going to share?
I agree with Shawn.
Who does that guy think he is?
What a Jerk.
If you waited in line so long to meet the guy it was obvious that you were a fan of his.
Why did he have to yell at you?
People like that should love their fans, not chew them out in front of others.
I'm sorry, but behavior like that is completely uneccessary.
You have the best anecdotes about peoople hating you.
Do you thinbk maybe Mr. Bradbury is part of a secret cult for elite dudes and 'I've figured out the true meaning of 'A Night Before Christmas' is the special password and since he knew you weren't a member of the club, he understandably got offended?
You're a momnster, Mr. F. A God-damn monster!
Maybe you smelled like cabbage that day or something. Or maybe Mr. Bradbury was suffering from a delusion where all nice people looked like Hitler to him. Imagine what he would have said if Mother Teresa was in that line? <8O
Perhap Ray forgot to take his heart medicine that day?
So any way, WHAT is the secret meaning behind "Twas The Night Before Christmas" any way, Mr. Smarty-Pants?
Wow, that IS perplexing. But yeah, the fact that you wanted to theorise something rather than get a book signed is probably why it put him in such a nasty mood.
That was really uncalled for on his half, though. He could have just said something like, "That's nice, but I don't have time to discuss this and I've some books to sign" rather than get all riled up.
I dunno, maybe he's had to put up with other "theorists" before who just wanted to talk a bunch of bunk and you just happened to be the one to get his last nerve.
Whenever I think about some unfortunate encounter I had with a celebrity,(and I've had a couple) I remember a story that the late Huntz Hall(of the Bowery Boys fame) told on Letterman once. He was filming the movie "Dead End" with Cagney and Bogart, and his pal Leo Gorcey was very excited about filming a scene with his idol Jimmy Cagney. In the film, Cagney plays an ex con that returns to his old neighborhood, and in one scene he stops in to check out his old hideout and encounters the Dead End Kids.
They're filming a bit of dialogue where the kids ask him how he found their hideout, and Leo pipes in, "maybe he's psyche"- Cagney turns around and slaps Leo in the face, and then chews him out saying "don't ad-lib!".
Naturally, this left Leo pretty shaken up, and he was depressed for a while, so Huntz Hall tried to cheer him up by rationalizing, "Hey,look at it this way, you coulda gotten slapped by any jerk off the street, How many people get slapped in the face by their hero?"
So count your blessings, Eddie, Ray could have flipped out and screamed, "Never mentioned that goddamned poem again, or I'll kill you, I'll fucking kill you, you got that?"
Eddie, I'll tell you why it happened. It's for the same reason that crazy girls in bus stations sit down next to me and ask if they can sing to me.
It's for the same reason my Grampy got his arm chewed off by a passing truck. It's the God of Story Telling making sure that we have entertaining stories to tell!
That and of course those sneaky pheronomes.
V
I think it was because he was bitten by a dog that looked like you as a child.
See ya
Steve
It could be one of those "Curb Your Enthusiasm" moments where you inadvertinatly piss someone off and you dont even know it by some form of miscommunication, or he's just a jerk.. Does he even know who you are to make a biased judgement of you?
More proof that Ray Bradbury and Chuck Jones were separated at birth. IMO, Ray was just jealous of you because you know how to drive, Eddie.
John A.:
Bitch-slapping Leo Gorcey for his upstart ad-lib was completely in character for James Cagney. Cagney loathed other actors improvising during one of his carefully-rehearsed scenes. While filming the Oscar-winning "Yankee Doodle Dandy", beloved character actor S.Z. Sakall suddenly ad-libbed a line in a shot with Cagney and Richard Whorf. Cagney immediately halted the shot and furiously chewed the surprised Sakall out on the spot for messing him up. Cagney thereafter insisted on never working with the jovial, chubby Sakall again in his career. Go figure. Cagney was a brilliant thespian but probably not a happy camper.
Hi Eddie,
Who knows why Ray Bradbury reacted that way over an innocent question. Maybe he thought you were someone trying to play a practical joke at his expense. Like they did on Howard Stern and Dennis Pennis, where they would send a person to ask crazy questions to celebrities just to try to embarrass them.
I think that he didn't call on you at the recent presentation because he was too embarrassed about how he acted toward you during your last encounter, and he may have thought that you would have brought that up.
Bradbury wrote "The Halloween Tree" which Hanna-Barbera later turned into an Emmy winning piece of shit.
I don't see how that could have happened- you're the silliest sweetest guy ever! Maybe...
...maybe he hates Christmas? Baby Jesus? Maybe he was constipated? Perhaps that book brings back haunting memories of his childhood; having been beaten with that exact book whenever he misbehaved at christmas time....
I think Ray Bradbury personally killed the Son of God, but then I'm a Republican who worships Dale Careghie.
Hi Eddie,
My guess is that he just wasn't expecting your offer to explain the poem. He was probably expecting you to gush all over him like everyone else -- but NO! You had the audacity to engage him in a literary discussion. Expecting one thing - and getting another.
Kinda like going to the fridge for a glass of apple juice and swilling a urine sample instead. -- Which is also why you should never drink apple juice in hospitals.
Carneghie. Damned mushrooms. Never buy hallucinogens from that fucking Aaron Sorkin at the Bob Hope Airport.
I get a feeling when I meet and try to talk to people I admire that they feel that way about me but just don't show it.
Chewbacca is a dick?! No!!
What exactly is your earth-shattering analysis of The Night Before Christmas, that you felt you needed to interrupt his book signing event to “share” with him?
And what would you have asked him if he’d called on you when you had your hand up? Was it also something to show off how smart you think you are? Something that has absolutely nothing to do with Ray Bradbury or Science Fiction?
Next time you’re giving a lecture about cartoons in front of a live audience, I’ll raise my hand to talk about nuclear fission and quantum physics. We’ll see how much you like it.
How self-important you are! "Ray Bradbury hates me personally!" As if Bradbury would know you from a hole in the wall. Keep dreaming.
How self-important I am for that matter. I take a charming, sincere little anecdote and demonize the hell out of it.
Truth is, I'd never attend one of your lectures because I never ever leave the house.
Oh, boy--"Battle of the Egos"!
"Who knows why Ray Bradbury reacted that way over an innocent question. Maybe he thought you were someone trying to play a practical joke at his expense. Like they did on Howard Stern and Dennis Pennis, where they would send a person to ask crazy questions to celebrities just to try to embarrass them."
I think Jennifer here is probably the closest to guessing what happened.
Poor Eddie! But let's be fair, your topic was way out of left field considering he was there to sign his book, and after all, he is not only a well known curmugdeon(I know he WRITES lovable fiction, but if you'd read anything about him, I think you'd be aware of his often arrogant and prickly personality), but arguably one of the two the best-known living sci-fi/fantasy authors.
So, did you go to that signing specifically to talk about your dicovery of the poem, and why did you pick Bradbury? Just because he's a famous author, or are you really one of his readers who's familiar with his work(you didn't own a single volume, not even a paperback of his, to bring and have signed?)?
Ray Bradbury's been doing this a long, long, long time, remember. he must have seen it all--esp. since he writes scifi and worked on "The Twilight Zone", among other movies and TV. I've attended signings by many authors(including Ray, which was by accident--he just happened to be in the bookshop when I was there; I took the opportunity to get a book signed after buying one and he was matter-of-fact and a bit aloof-senatorial, you might say). Authors at these things get plenty of strange encounters and weird questions over the decades assuming their careers last that long. So he's got no patience to hear off-the-wall stuff, no surprise. I'll bet it'd have been totally different if it was a personal encounter arranged by a friend of his, a casual, relaxed get-together where you & he could talk freely, not a signing line after a lecture. And truthfully, let's face it, you did wanted to tell HIM what you knew about this old children's poem,--it's not as if you were showing interest in anything about his speech, which you enjoyed, or him, his vast writings, etc.--your 5 minutes with him was going to be all about your discovery of Clement Moore's "Night Before Xmas".
Can you see why that riled him? An old man, there to sell books and offer his insights? I'm afraid I can.
And the last time I saw Bradbury (a couple of months ago on C-Span BookTV) he was practially drooling and wheelchair-bound. What were you going to ask him that time? Are you really a fan of his? Anyway, it's totally unlikely he remembered you but if he did-no offense, but I wouldn't have called on the "Night Before Xmas" guy either!
I think Eddie is a catalyst for uncovering latent assholes.
See ya
Steve
Eddie,
You seem to get into these altercations that remind me of Larry on "Curb Your Enthusiam". It's just like one of those episodes. Maybe you should write for the show? Leave this animation biz behind with it's poor pay scale and lack of respect and earn some real money as a scriptwriter! But then, John K probably would no longer hang out with you after that.
You sure you didn't omit something Eddie ?
I think you probably resemble the invisible heckler that follows him around.
Next time you see him, make sure to ignore him, and to let him see you having a lot of fun with another boy.
He's jealous. He knows women prefer you over chocolate and gossip combined.
The guy that won first place used bright unmixed primary colors. I think people voted for him because his colors stood out the most. Or maybe i'm just jealous.
Yeah, you weren't wearing your tinfoil hat that day,or something?
"I think you probably resemble the invisible heckler that follows him around.
Next time you see him, make sure to ignore him, and to let him see you having a lot of fun with another boy."
Are you replying to me ?
Oh,you were talking about the the anonymous guy, okay, sorry about that I really don't care.
I was replying to eddie's query.
It's a shame that two such colossal figures failed to connect.
Fitzgerald, you must be out of your mind! Bradbury is a major author who does numerous signings and who remains, even at an advanced age, quite prolific. The idea that this busy man could have even the slightest recollection of you and your little theories is worse than conceited; it smacks of manic depression.
Bradbury loves the language. He's an avid reader of poetry. Perhaps if you'd approached him with some thoughts on Dylan Thomas or Gerard Manley Hopkins (he admires both) or some other legitimate figure he might have managed to feign polite interest. However, you lunged, jabbering, from the book line with unsolicited opinions about The Night Before Christmas!!! Ridiculous! The Night Before Christmas is a weary, JUNKY bit of doggerel with no redeeming qualities in either its conception or its execution. The World has given that poem more than enough attention. Really. It stinks.
"RAY BRADBURY HATES ME!"
I doubt it.
The sad truth is, Ray Bradbury doesn't hate you any more than he hates mosquitos or the smell of a fart. You were an irritant. At best, you were an oddity. You were, I can promise you, forgotten almost instantly.
So, now your readers have decided that Ray Bradbury is a "jerk" or a mean old bastard. Pity. You might have used your post to excite them about Bradbury's undeniable talent.
God knows, you are compelled to throw yourself, weeping and humble, at the feet of John K. and two or three other Great Artists. I'm sure you've permitted John and these others a short tempered remark or two out of respect for their GENIUS. Bradbury, on the other hand, gets maligned in a lengthy, shallow and stupid post.
Oh well. Ray Bradbury will be dead soon. Then, perhaps, you can forget and forgive. Maybe you can honor his memory with some sort of show. Something akin to the touching tribute to Tex Avery which you produced a few years back.
Finally, I doubt he was quite that rude to you. You exaggerate.
Its convenient for an "anonymous" soul to come on Eddie's blog and try to tear him a "new one" for simply stating his point of view on a certain situation. The post isnt entitled," I hate Ray.." Its a common story that has probably happened to everyone on this blog. A simple miscommunication or an inconvienient comment that rubbed someone the wrong way. I think Eddie did a fair job in telling the story leaving it open for interpretation. He just didnt understand the reaction he recieved from Ray. Obviously Eddie is a fan of Ray. I dont know Eddie but he seems like a great guy.. Maybe it was just a inoportune time to bring up something that wasnt revolved around Ray.. How dare Eddie try to spark a conversation with Ray on a subject other than Ray! Well I think this subject in itself is blown way out of proportion.. But anonymous.. I guess your entitled to your opinion but why hide behind the "anonymous" wall. Give us your blog so we can give you a piece of our minds when we dont agree with your adventures.
Anonymous: Boy, did you get it wrong! As others have pointed out, I love the guy. The reason I wrote the post was to comment on how strange life is and how misunderstandings can sour relationships (the wrong word but you know what I mean).
Ray really did act the way I described but so what? We all have bad days.
Everybody: Here's the interpretation of "Night Before Christmas" that I didn't have room for on the post. I warn you, you'll be disappointed. It's one of those things that seem earthshaking when you think of it and loose all their luster the next day. Anyway, here goes:
It's actually a poem about the ideal father and the joys of family life. The man's a good provider, he loves his kids, he's full of curiosity , he has good judgement, imagination and a sense of humor. He's the ideal man. Santa was the McGuffin.
You can't write a poem about those qualities in the abstract - well, maybe Kipling could - you need to wrap it up in a story. An awful lot of good stories are actually tributes to a special kind of role model that the writer enjoys thinking about.
That's it. I didn't go to see Ray just to tell him that but it occurred to me on the way there.
I was at a book show once and a lady shopping at one of the tables exclaimed, "Look! A signed Ray Bradbury book!"" The guy behind the table said, "Lady, he's signed so many books, it's the UNsigned ones that are rare."
See ya
Steve
I certainly never thought of The Night Before Christmas that way, but I can certainly see it now. Insightful as ever, Eddie!
It really is funny how the way we mentally approach a situation can be completely different from the way another person receives it. At least you leave with a good story after encounters like that, though.
Eddie that's hilarious!
Yet also unfortunate.
I love your blog man, great stories, and REALLY GREAT opinions and perceptions of our entertainment culture.
This is the most inspiring site on the internet! Thanks!
Mad Max: Thanks! I hate to admit it but it's nice to read stuff like that somtimes!
Jennifer: Where have you been? I thought you were hit by a meteor!
Anonymous: That Cagney story was great!
Kali: I read the editing book you wrote about. It was fun book! I also read the Reicz (spelled right?) book that someone recommended. Reicz turned me on to the B&W "Naked City" movie. Have you seen that yet? The first ten minutes are great!
Marlo: I have a feeling that you should have won!
Sci-fi: You probably made the mistake of making your home too cozy and comfortable. You can get too much of a good thing.
I would think Ray Bradbury would know weary, JUNKY bits of doggerel well enough, as he has written enough of them.
Seriously, his fame rests on being a genre author that is palatable to those that cannot stand the genre he writes in. Some of that milktoast sop is indeed classic literature, but it isn't necessarily great science fiction, but merely the only science fiction that many mild mannered librarians who dislike science fiction can tolerate at all. In the same way that Perry Como has fans that really don't care for music otherwise-- its safe as milk to them.
I love him though. I just think he's pabalum, and I don't think he realized the accolades he has received come from people that like pabalum.
Exactly two years plus one day after Eddie posted this entry, I had an encounter with an adorable person - which ended in the same way as his encounter with Ray Bradbury.
Let's face it: it wasn't a bad day. Both Ray Bradbury (and the person I adore, N) continued their attitudes toward us after the first meeting.
I wrote some notes about the parallels between our cases. Here they are.
I - Eddie Fitzgerald(Uncle Eddie)
N - Ray Bradbury
Passionate but earthly approach to something very precious, even sacred - Passionate but earthly approach to something very precious, sacred
Result: Both Eddie and I were refused any communication whatsoever: only ten-twenty after our first encounters(!)
-------
Now I want to add that frankly, I have experienced this kind of refusal several times in my childhood. Maybe it can be said that I suffer from existential frustration. The daily conventions make me feel unbearably desperate, and, in response, I tend toward undermining them. I suspect this is true for Eddie as well. ... But (my confusion is returning) I also perfectly understand Ray Bradbury's outlook. I, too, have often been shocked by people who disrupt my peace and order, with what seemed like shallow pretentiousness.
---------
I wasn’t really surprised when I first read that uncle Eddie was ‘booted out’. Should I be surprised about my own booting?
Maybe – maybe there are two paths forking:
one of explicit, conscious aspiration toward the sacred, and
another of a non-expecting mood, of claiming that miracles have been and will be, but here and now we need to think humbly.
And they should not be mixed.
But how do we know they _should not_ be mixed?
The approach of the one approach to the other? Not really right: because interaction is natural, and peace is wished which depends on mutual understanding.
Ok, give it time. Patience. Just grow in your roots.
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