Monday, March 05, 2007

THE MOST NAKED COUNTRY IN EUROPE

In my opinion the most naked women in all of Europe are to be found in Scotland. Are they the prettiest over all? Who knows? That's in the eye of the beholder. What I do know is that in at least one, narrow area they shine, namely that they're the most astonishingly naked women in Europe, i.e., they're the sexiest without clothes.

Every other European nationality can only lay claim to "National Geographic" nudity, which is somehow chaste and wholesome. Only Scottswomen, who live in a damp, bleak and overcast country, and whose excrutiatingly delicate skin rarely sees the sun, can claim nudity which is gloriously filthy and dirty.

Why aren't Scotswomen more sought-after by men?

Because they come attached to this (above): the mean, ornery, Goth skinhead of a Scottish brother. How'd you like to have this guy trailing behind you on a date?

Scottish women often have freckles, which is shockingly sexy. Your eyes follow the path of the freckles down the cheek to the neck, and down the neck to...well, you know.

















Surprisingly, Scottish women hate having freckles and do everything they can to cover them up. Here are before and after pictures showing the so-called "improvement." Which do you prefer?







44 comments:

Josh "Just What the Doctor Ordered" Heisie said...

A pleasant, modest amount of freckles are okay (as in that example) but when the whole of them is covered in glaring patches of angry red freckles, I'd prefer the clear skin. In that example, though, the freckles are most definitely better.

It all depends on the girl. That's my teenybopper opinion.

Anonymous said...

I met this girl in a club once. She was polite enough, but really cold, all the same. I left and talked with some friends. When I ran into her again, there was more light and I noticed her freckles. I told her how sexy I thought they were and she lit up like a firecracker. I think freckles are hot because they remind me of a leopard's skin. Hmmm...

Lester Hunt said...

As usual, Eddie, your reasoning is impeccable. I would only point out that this theory applies with equal rigor, with all its postulates and corollaries, to Irish women.

William said...

when my gorgeous wife gets even a mild tan, her natural freckles(though blonde) start to appear. I consider this astonishingly beautiful, but she considers it embarassing. Why? Why? Does she not see how it makes me swoon so?

Kali Fontecchio said...

You should have put up a photo of Marlo and photoshop hundreds of freckles onto her face!!

Jorge Garrido said...

Freckles are sexy when their skin isn't pale.

Pat McMicheal said...

Sorry Eddie, I am IRISH to the bone, and freckles are a HUGE cold shower to me! especially across her chest....I dont mind a few over her shoulders though ;)

applepwnz said...

My Fiancée has a few freckles on her face and it definitely adds to the cuteness factor, but I don't really like when a girl has too many, especially on her body.

Jennifer said...

This post is really cute! The bloke giving the "one finger salute" had me on the floor laughing.

When I was little, I had freckles on my nose, cheeks and shoulders. When I tanned, I freckled more than I tanned. As I got older, the freckles on my face faded, but I still have some freckles on my shoulders.

I absolutely HATED my freckles when I was little. In Florida (where I'm from), all the kids were either blonde with peaches-and-cream skin that tanned or brunette with already tan skin. I was the only kid who had auburn hair with freckles.

Gabriel said...

i love love love freckles, and redhead girls, specially with green eyes! And they look great in green clothes too! That's a killer combination

NateBear said...

Freckles are very girl-next-door (GND), and there's nothing sexier than (at least the perception of) innocence. What's dirtier having your way with an airbrushed, over-tanned porn-star or perverting a delicate lass whose skin isn't ever even meant to be exposed to candle-light.

NateBear said...

Case and point: Janet Frame.

RJFW said...

Another case in point - Lindsey Lohan, who, before she became an 80 lb., bleach-blond, boulder-implanted slut was an adorable red-haired, freckle-faced cutie.

Its tragic that the fashion/pop culture/film industry has so many beautiful women convinced that they need to cover up their natural beauty...

abwinegar said...
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Anonymous said...

One would think, with all that CGI can do, narcissistic actors would no longer have to physically mutilate themselves in the name of skin deep perfection. But one would be wrong.

Katie said...

I've always been ashamed by my lack of freckles! I agree, they're adorable. Instead of cute freckles, I got knees that blush.

I'm predicting that in the future girls will have colorful fake freckles that they can temporarily glue on...funny round cartoony ones. Maybe I'll invent them and become a millionaire!

Vincent Waller said...

I read that by the year 2100 red heads will be extinct.
When did Marlo take up the violin?

Max Ward said...

Post some examples of naked Scottish women.

Sean Worsham said...

I can see why Spumco drawings keep the freckles on their depiction of ladies :).

Freckles Rule!

Rod said...

I feel for the scottish women though.

Red hair and freckles is unbelievably hot on a woman.
Not so much on a guy.

Sean Worsham said...

I wish I were red-headed. A red head asian is unique and sexy. Ooh time to get the red dye for my hair now!

mike f. said...

Freckled cleavage is unbearably sexy.

Scotland is the naked-est country in Europe, alright. Even Scottish men are naked (Blecch!) under their traditional kilts.

BTW, here's the time-honored answer to nosy-Parker tourists who ask kiltmen what they're wearing under their kilts:

"Your wife's lipstick!" (...followed by a freckled fist to the eye!)

Sean Worsham said...
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Sean Worsham said...

Scotland is also known for having the largest rate of heart attacks. Too much Fried Twinkies, Haggas and Hot Women.

Kali Fontecchio said...
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Kali Fontecchio said...

When I was a baby I was a red-head. Now I'm just a pile of filth.

You come up with the most interesting headliners- it forces any normal human to succumb to reading your blog.

chrisheadrick said...

For myself, Black Irish is the greatest genetic combination for women...

...that's jet black hair with pale skin. Sometimes freckles, sometimes blue eyes. The pale skin and blue eyes give a Nordic freshness, the dark hair and sharp eyebrows add some exoticism. And freckles are playful.

Bettie Page is a perfect example...she has all four traits.

John A said...

She has freckles on her

but

I love her.

Anonymous said...

Vincent Waller: redheads are too stubborn to go extinct. They'll be around, freckles and all. And the girls will be HOTHOTHOT.

Jenny said...
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Jenny said...

Wow...I had no idea so many men think freckles all over are a turn off.

Poor Lindsay. : (

Vincent Waller said...

Anie Omunus, or whoever you are.
I hope you're right

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Jenny: Freckles all over are not a turnoff!

Vincent: Are you serious? Did you really read that redheads are going to vanish?

Vincent Waller said...

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/living/2002266852_redhair09.html

Will rare redheads be extinct by 2100?
By Robin L. Flanigan

She was just walking down the street with her sister, in her old neighborhood, when an elderly woman stopped her car in front of her and called out, "I love your hair! It's so beautiful!"

Caitlin Tydings was about 8 then, and caught off guard. Now a high-school senior, she has since grown accustomed to strangers commenting on her strawberry-blond locks.

If predictions by the Oxford Hair Foundation come to pass, the number of natural redheads everywhere will continue to dwindle until there are none left by the year 2100.

The reason, according to scientists at the independent institute in England, which studies all sorts of hair problems, is that just 4 percent of the world's population carries the red-hair gene. The gene is recessive and therefore diluted when carriers produce children with people who have the dominant brown-hair gene.

Dr. John Gray's explanation of his foundation's findings: "The way things are going, red hair will either be extremely rare or extinct by the end of the century."

Red hair certainly has made the endangered list. But with 4 percent of 6.4 billion people carrying the gene, says University of Rochester Medical Center's David Pearce, it is too large a figure to be wiped out completely in the next 95 years.

"I think someone may want to check their calculator," he says. The red-hair gene "will dilute out and become rare, but there are a variety of other factors that can change hair color that are not really understood well right now."

The gene responsible for red hair was only discovered in the late 1990s. People have a good chance of being born with red hair if they have a mutation of that gene.

Red hair is found in all ethnic backgrounds but is most commonly associated with people of Celtic descent.

Red hair skipped two generations before sprouting on Brianna McBride, a 5-year-old preschooler from Penfield, N.Y. It comes from her great-grandmother on her father's side.

"As a baby, we'd be in the store and people would always try to touch her head. She didn't like that, so she was very shy," recalls her mom, Alice. As Brianna got older, "we started to point out other redheads, and she started understanding."
Now, her mom adds, "she looks forward to the attention. She has really learned how to use it."

Joel Bryan said...

I'm attracted to a wide variety of things and freckles can be one of them. On a purely physical basis. But what I'm attracted to varies depending on the person. If I like her, then whatever physical characteristics she possesses become attractive to me.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Vincent: Unbelievable! What a loss that'll be!

Joel: True, if you like a girl then whatever physical type she is becomes appealing to you!

Sean Worsham said...

Eddie: You can't believe everything you read. Redheads will be around forever. :)

Elliot said...

Scottish women are also significantly more likely to be addicted to heroin, statistics would indicate.

Andreas said...

My one big regret in life is not going after a beautiful light red haired Scottish woman. Her upbringing was excellent. She had culture, and domestic skills galore. Skin so fair, with a a light dabbing of freckles. Her accent alone was enough to make me weak in the knees (quite the opposite reaction in a different area of my anatomy). Alas, I could not persuade my tongue to act on my heart's desires. Curse my wretched tongue, for it has left me here sad, lonely, and broken hearted. Thanks for the reminder.

RedDiabla said...

It'd be interesting if redheads did go extinct, yet the saying, "Beaten like a redheaded stepchild" stuck around. People in the future will be saying, "What the hell does that mean?!"

Tom said...

I am sure you have heard this before but I will say it again. Thanks Uncle Eddie! I have always found a certain beauty within the sun kisses of red heads and I am sure Marlo is probably freakin' out about how many people are going to comment to her about that.

Anonymous said...

You guys are all idiots. Freckles? Gross! Maybe a few on the nose is cute, but more than that, Ug Lee.

Anonymous said...

what a load of rubish, i live in scotland and first i have to say that it's very rare i see a freckled red head and even rarer is a scotish goth skinhead (whatever one of them is), and if this eddie had ever even stepped foot on our beloved isles would know that is no such thing as a goth skinhead, our skinheads are soul boys who wear suits, and have a love for tamla motown and 60's soul music and dont stick our fingers up like the stupid moran on the pics, what a load of crap, makes me laugh, typical american nonsence where you have this idea that us scots and irish are red heads, where the reality is we have mainly black or brown hair,no such thing as a red haired celt, if you had an education you'd know was vikings that had red hair, who ran from our isles after us celts drove them out and as for that pic of the red haired girl, if shes supposed to look scotish then im the f**king pope, maybe eddie should try spending some time here and see that are women aint red heads but are mainly sexy brunnettes instead of posting pics of some girl who looks like she belongs out in the swamps in america playing a part in the film deliverance,lol.

Druid said...

I LOVE redheads with freckles! So sexy!