Wednesday, March 14, 2007

ANOTHER APOLOGY TO MIKE

I feel so bad! Mike is a wonderful host (I should know, I've been sponging off him for eons) and here I've gone and told the world that he's cheap and lives in a trailer park. Really, that's a terrible thing to do to a friend.

I don't have the words to express my sorrow so I thought I would read from book that puts into words some of what I feel. It's a childrens' book and the protaginist even looks like Mike. I'll just scan it in. It's named for the dog in the story: "Poohul."


Once upon a time there was a generous host named Mr. Michael. He loved to bake cakes and pies for the many guests he invited to his beautiful house.


Whatever the guests couldn't eat they took home in buldging doggie bags. "What a friend!" they all said, "Hoorah for Mr. Michael!"


What a shock then, when they discovered that a sleazey internet artist had accused Mr. Michael of being cheap! "He says Mr. Michael never has toilet paper for his guests! That's not true," said one outraged neighbor, "He almost always has toilet paper! And he's so generous with his pies! Who would print such a thing!?"


Who indeed? It was none other than "Uncle Bucktooth," a disgruntled guest who didn't like Mr. Michael's pretzels.


Now it so happened that Mr. Michael had a poodle named Poohul. Poohul was very upset by the slander his master had received. Not even a bath could calm him down.


"I'm gonna kick that guy's butt!" said Poohul.


And he did! Passers-by said it was the most gruesome beating they'd ever seen. Poohul acted rashley, they agreed, but all seemed to feel that Uncle Bucktooth had it coming.


A couple of months later when the heat had died down Poohul emerged from hiding.


The two friends were re-united and they danced and danced the whole night through. Poohul even wore womens' clothing! They were very, very happy, and lived happily...you guessed it... ever after!
The End.









22 comments:

mike fontanelli said...

Um, is Poohul a girl dog?

And is there a part where Uncle Bucktooth gets professional help?

xxxooo
Mikey

Max Ward said...

ha!!!

Vincent Waller said...

Oh goddamn, now it's on!

Barbasaurus Rex said...

I think Uncle bucktooth is lashing out at Mr. Michael because he has no cross dressing poodle of his own....oh how Uncle bucktooth longs to do the poodle prance.

Unknown said...

yay an eddie Campfire story :3

Ryan G. said...

These last two posts made me crap myself laughing.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Mike, are you gonna retaliate or what?

Anonymous said...

Eddie?


What new medication are you on?

Anonymous said...

You and Kali should get together and do a childern's book of Uncle Bucktooth. I would buy a copy. It would be a classic.

mike fontanelli said...

[Mike, are you gonna retaliate or what?]

Heh heh... Yup!

Max Ward said...

I propose Eddie writes and Kali illustrates "Little Uncle Bucktooth Books." The first story can involve Uncle Bucktooth hosting a shin dig and serving baloney, saltines, and tap water.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Mike: Retaliate? You can't retaliate for an apology! The crossdressing dog was part of the book!

J. J. Hunsecker said...

I'm glad that Uncle Bucktooth is just a fictional character, 'cause he seems like a real jerk. I'd hate to meet someone like that in real life. Can't say he didn't have that beating coming to him.

Stephen Worth said...

Uncle Bucktooth is loveable as he heaps on the abuse! You must be thinking of Donald Duck.

See ya
Steve

Kali Fontecchio said...

I love you Eddie! I drew you again today as I do everyday....

Kali Fontecchio said...

And I love your bowls of pies and chips and pretzels Mike! And you're Buster Keaton autograph. I'm drooling just thinking about it, haha.

William said...

Well, someone's getting an atomic wedgie.

Jennifer said...

This is a riot!!

I have to stop reading this blog during breaks at work. I start laughing so hard everyone thinks I'm going crazy.

Stephen Worth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stephen Worth said...

Here is a photo of Poohul and his manservant.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Steve: Fascinating! The master even looks a little like the poodle!

J. J. Hunsecker said...

>>Uncle Bucktooth is loveable as he heaps on the abuse! You must be thinking of Donald Duck.

Wait a minute, isn't Uncle Bucktooth the character who hops on one foot while in a fighting pose when angry, all the while muttering unintelligebly?