Tuesday, January 22, 2008

THE MIDNIGHT SNACK


"I think I'll check my emails before I turn in.  Boy, the house is spooky this time of night."


"I'll tell you something you probably didn't know.  Two of the people who owned this house in the past were murdered. No kidding! They were axed in this very room!"


"I know what you're thinking: 'Why did you buy a house where murders took place!?, ' and I just shrug. It was cheap; what can I say?  It's not so bad.  You hear weird sounds in here sometimes, but it's OK, you get used to it."


"Like that! Did you hear that!?  What do you think that was?"


"It sounded like crying behind the walls, but that couldn't be."


The story they tell about this place is that a husband decided to do away with his wife and hide her body in the space between the walls.  Those are the walls behind me.  He dragged her dead body up into the attic then dropped it into a space between the walls of the first floor. What he didn't know was that she wasn't really dead, and that she woke up inside the sealed-up wall." 

"Um....the  next part's pretty gnarly.  Are you sure you want me to tell you about it?""



"OK, you asked for it!  Well, they say she woke up in there and couldn't get out.  She couldn't scream because her throat had been damaged by the near-strangling.  The only way she could survive was to eat the occasional roach and twist the heads off rats.  The rats resisted and would savagely bite her hand as she strangled them."  


"After  a year in the dark eating rats,  she went insane.  All she could think about was vengeance, vengeance against the horrible man who had done this to her.  Imagine her in there, covered with mildew and bacteria, wearing a tattered dress soaked in her own waste products! Every once in a while she'd reach a point where she couldn't take it anymore,  and she'd howl and bang her head against the wall."


  
HOOOOOOWWWWLLLLL!!!!!!! BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Um...er, something like that. Don't worry it was probably just the wind."



"They say that once a year, she'd get so intolerably angry that she'd manage to crawl up out of the wall into the attic, then down into the house, where she would kill the occupant of this room. The first year she killed her husband, the second and third years  she killed the next guys who bought the house."  


"It never occurred to her to leave here. In her deranged state she got used to living in the wall. After she killed her latest victim, she would always tortuously drag herself back to the comfort and security of the rat-filled dark. The police could never figure out who the murderer was. It never occurred to them that it might be someone living in the wall, at least that's the story people around here tell."


HHOOOOOOWWWWLLLLLL!!!!!!!!

"Good Grief! It's bad tonight!"



"You don't suppose that this is the night she'll crawl out, looking for vengeance?"


"They say there's an axe hidden behind a trunk in the attic that she uses to....."



"Naaaaw! That's just a story!  Don't think for one minute that I...."

HHHOOOOOOWWWWLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!       (Continued in the next post, below)


7 comments:

Vincent Waller said...

Yet another wonderful Uncle Eddie story. I kept waiting for you you to turn and reveal the axe stuck in the back of your head.

Some Guy said...

Genius! It was geniuinely scary and even ended with a great punchline out of left field! Nice lighting, too! Who was that person behind you?

Man, imagine this as a youtube vlog?!

Rogelio T. said...

Great story Eddie!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Some: The robe on the door behind me was a coincidence. I didn't put them there on purpose!

Some Guy said...

Holy crap, that was an accident? How serendipidous! Eddie, did you notice that the first time the robe appeared was when you said "You don't suppose that this is the night she'll crawl out, looking for vengeance?"

It looks so calmly menacing!

lastangelman said...

Man, oh, man, I'm a sucker for this stuff. I'm laughing so loud, the cats are looking at me rather annoyed before drifting back to their feline dreams. Great photography. Can't wait for next chapter ...


I F T H E R E I S A N E X T C H A P T E R ! ! !

Anonymous said...

Gosh, that last photo would make fantastic computer wallpaper.

Cynthia