Saturday, April 05, 2008


ANNOUNCER:  "Today we're visiting the internationally famous star of stage and screen, the original singing cowboy.... Cowboy Bob! Hello, Cowboy Bob! Are we interrupting?"

COWBOY BOB:  "Why, no Bill! We got most of the cattle bedded down for the night, so a little jaw-jabberin' won't hurt!"

ANNOUNCER:  "Cowboy Bob, we have some letters from the fans. One fan writes in to ask, "Why does Cowboy Bob smoke? Doesn't that set a bad example for kids?"

COWBOY BOB: "Haw! That's a laugh! I don't smoke! Never have! It's a filthy habit! I carry the cigarettes for a friend, my horse!"

COWBOY BOB:  "Of course he gets the cigarettes all wet with slobber so they don't work so good anymore. If one gets really wet I'll let it dangle from my lip just to dry it out! 

Any more questions?"

ANNOUNCER:  "Yes, here's one.....this reader asks, "Cowboy Bob, Do you have your own ranch? Where do you bunk?"

COWBOY BOB: "Where do I bunk? No cowboy 'bunks' anymore. When I'm on a drive I stay at motels, just like everybody else."

COWBOY BOB (CONT):  "My favorite is 'Motel 6' because they leave a peppermint on the bed. Of course you never want to run an ultraviolet light over the bedspread but heck, even big hotels have that problem." 

COWBOY BOB:  "Well, there's the call to the chuck wagon! Gotta cut it short! It was real nice talkin' to you, Bill! Tell the kids out there to talk straight and stand tall like their friend Cowboy Bob! That, and always listen to their mothers!"

ANNOUNCER: "Will do, Cowboy Bob! It was nice talkin'...I mean 'talking' you!"

BTW: Thanks and a tip of the Cowboy Bob hat to Luke for the fine poster above!


Anonymous said...


Hey Uncle Eddie, have a look at this. I think you'll find it quite hilarious.

Things like that make my day.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Good Lord! That link was to Divine! When Polyester came out he and John Waters autographed my odorama card at a signing at the theater. They were both really stressed and irritable that day, and were in no mood to talk to people.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap! Was he dressed as a woman?!? People like that are hilarious to watch and make fun of, but I'd be horrified to meet them...

Booo Tooons Ltd. said...

I miss Devine. He was a consumate performer and beautiful.

- trevor.

PS: I like your hat, pilgrim.

Jen said...

I met Divine at the opening of a boutique in WeHo about 25 years ago. He (and when he got out of his car,which he'd parked in front of us, he was indeed a "he"-wigless-in fact totally bald-and not dressed up as "Divine" yet-he looked exactly like Uncle Fester)was sweet and friendly. This wouldn't be too long before he died, actually.
Anyway, it was a lovely sunny Saturday afternoon in then-sleepy Hollywood and s/he was as I say, very sweet. My friend and I both bought tshirts that s/he signed. Still have mine somewhere.

Pete Emslie said...

Looks like ol' Cowboy Bob is in need of a new hat. That one has seen its share of Injun attacks!