Friday, April 13, 2012

AURALYNN LENDS ME A BOOK

EXT. CARL'S JR.:

EDDIE (VO): "Good burger, eh? Now can I see the books you brought?"


EDDIE: "Holy Mackerel! You're lending me all these!?


AURALYNN: "I knew you'd like them. Look at the bottom one first, that's my favorite."


EDDIE: "Haw! Like it? I LOVE it! It's hilarious! Look at all those little guys running around on their heads!"


AURALYNN: "On their heads!??? Uh....I think you're holding the book upside down."


He turns the book around.

EDDIE: "Oh, right...okay....I'll just......"



EDDIE: "Alright, I see it now....yeah....here it is....hmmmmmmmmmm......"



EDDIE: "I don't git it."


AURALYNN: "Silly, it's not a joke book. It's a serious art book about the California Surrealists."

EDDIE: "Well in that case, maybe you should get your money back. Look at this picture....

EDDIE (VO): "....That's a Jackson Pollock if I ever saw one, but the book says it was done by somebody named Knud Merrild."


AURALYNN: "Well, yeah. Merrild invented the technique. He did that painting way back in 1942, before Pollock."



EDDIE: "I don't know, Auralynn.....anybody who would call himself 'Nude'......."


AURALYNN: "Er, that's "KNUD." It's a Danish na........"


EDDIE: "Whoa! What's this???!!!"


AURALYNN (VO): "That's The First Hypothesis by Charles Howard. It's considered a masterpiece of American Post-Surrealism. Howard thought the themes that European surrealists painted were too neurotic and sexual. He tried instead to paint a door into a higher consciousness."


EDDIE: "Hawhawhawhaw! Too sexual!? Hawhawhawhaw!!!!!


EDDIE: "Do you know what that hairy thing is on the bottom of the picture?"



AURALYNN: "Yeah, it's a symbol of mortality. Watch out! You don't want to get ketchup  on the book!"


EDDIE: "Haw! Maybe ketchup would improve some of these pictures!!!!!!"



BAM!!!!!!!!!

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

BAMM!!!!

I laughed!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious, Eddie! Perfect for a very slow Saturday morning like this. I wish all people could be this lively in real life.

talkingtj said...

classic! i feel the same way about modern art! i just dont get it!

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Talking: I probably like classical art as much as you do, but I also like a lot of the art in Auralynn's book. I was just taking the other side because it made for a fun story.

BTW: did you spot the Walt Kelly gag in this story?

Anonymous said...

Ouch! Don't criticize a girl's taste, or look at what happens.

Actually, I've never heard of any of these artists. I am a big fan of the California watercolorists, but they probably moved in different circles.

What's the Kelly gag, by the way?

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Stephen: The Walt Kelly gag? It was the one that ended with "I don't git it." Albert the Alligator did that in one of the stories and it cracked me up.

I love Kelly but Pogo, the owl and the turtle were all variations of the same character. Kelly had too many foils, and not enough stars. Albert was a winner, but he was carrying the whole comedic weight by himself.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

From Anonymous (a new response to the 8/17/11 post, "The Purpose of Acting"):

I too have just googled 'Acting what's the point' and come across this wonderful discussion. I am a working actor, which I am in the main incredibly grateful for and feel very lucky, but I often question the integrity of my chosen profession and wonder what it's all for so reading these intelligent and thought provoking words I feel inspired to go to work and strive for the truth and magic of each moment in complete agreement that an actor's job is to serve the playwright.

Thanks.

talkingtj said...

i have never heard pogo summed up like that before, and you know what? youre right! good observation!

Anonymous said...

I'm with your pal, this stuff sounds interesting. What's the book called? Thanks!
-Nathan

Anonymous said...

Nevermind, figured it out, Pacific Dreams. Thanks again for sharing this. -N