Thursday, October 22, 2009

HOW TO FIND THE MATE WHO'S MEANT FOR YOU


Believe it or not, I'm always happy to look at wallet photos of people's families, especially if the person showing them to me is someone I find appealing. That's because looking so often reveals couples who look genuinely happy in each other's company. That's no small thing. I find pictures like that to be bracing, and seeing them makes me feel good for hours after.



Some people manage to find that one in a million person who's exactly right for them. Take the people in the picture above. You can tell the guy loves to tell his wife jokes, and you can tell that she loves to listen to them. Isn't that interesting? Man, someone pretty with breasts and a charming personality to laugh at your jokes...that's Heaven on Earth. What more could you ask for?



The amazing thing is that nice people like this manage to find each other. What are the odds? I mean the person who's right for you could be selling cigarettes in Khazakistan. How on Earth would you ever find that person? I have an answer, but I warn you...it's not logical.



My utterly unprovable belief is that that a supernatural power finds that person for you, and makes sure that you collide with each other on the street. It's as simple as that. If the cigarette seller in Khazakistan really, really is the right person for you, then a supernatural force will arrange for that person to be in your town, on your street, and bump into you. Bam! There go the groceries all over the sidewalk! All you have to do is not be a loser and ignore the gift that's just been given to you.



One of the cool things about finding the right person is that you'll have cool children, and when they grow up they'll also have cool children, so you'll have a little dynasty of coolness going for a couple of generations. Somewhere down the line your progeny will turn into serial killers who can never find their keys for all the heroin needles that are lying all over the house, but there's not much you can do about that, so why worry?



Above, an example of cool children. I could look at pictures like this all day.

Many thanks to CAM Thompson who told me about the site where I found these pictures, a blog called "Sexy People." Jorge Garrido turned me on to something else, which I direct you to below....



....a caricature of me by Aaron Philby! I look like I'm 95 years old here, but the age gives me...gravitas. Thanks, Aaron!


21 comments:

Raff said...

On topic:
I must say you find some of the oddest looking people to demonstrate your points. :) Yes the line between obervation and judgement is a thin and precarious one.

On the topic that will never end:
If JohnK is still recruiting for his secret restricted college, how can I pass this on to him:
http://rdrawblog2.blogspot.com/

thanks!

Kurdt said...

I'm trying to figure out what the look on the face of that guy with the beard is. I think it's either revulsion he's trying to hide, or he's about to go insane.

X said...

Actually Kurdt, I think it may more likely be something fairly common among middle aged folks which is seldom discussed out of good taste.

http://www.answerbag.com/question_will-eating-a-lot-of-cheese-really-make-you-constipated_143958/

Jorge Garrido said...

Hey, Eddie, great post. Slight correction: I wasn't the one who recommended that blog to you. It's a great blog, though!

I like that caricature because it reminds me of that Zim drawing Jenny pointed out looked a lot like you!

talkingtj said...

sorry to be off topic, but why is john k's blog suddenly restricted? ive been reading for about 3 years now suddenly im shut out. did i say something offense? is he up to something? re-designing? just doesnt like me? whats up!? at the very least those of us shut out should have explanation. like i said, ive been with it pretty much since the begining.a little help here please.

Chip Butty said...

Speaking of which, is Love Nerds still around?

Pete Emslie said...

That guy in the yellow suit looks like he could be the brother of Mr. Haney from "Green Acres".

I really like that caricature of you by Aaron. Really clever interpretation of your funny but lovable mug!

Steve said...

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY! P-p-p-p-please Uncle Eddie, tell John K how much we need him to continue this. I have learned so much from his and your blog. I preach the theories you guys put out there like a gospel and it gets through to some people. I do it because it makes so much sense. Tell him to do it for the sake of the future of cartooning and animation. Our craft needs experienced and real voices out there telling it like it is and how it should be done. Please...

RooniMan said...

That caricature makes you look like your in congress or politics.

Chip Butty said...

Aw, I guess it's gone. I'm hard up again, anyone here wanna date?

Anonymous said...

Mr. Haney on "Green Acres" was funny but Hank Kimball, played by the late Alvy Moore, was a comic genius. That series was considerably deeper than even its creators realized.

Anonymous said...

I never knew you were a self important member of the British house of lords Eddie! You need to start mingling with the common man more often

Sergio said...

jeez, how depressing...

Hey, ive a faithful reader of your blog for about a year or something, i dont participate much, but the reason i write today is because of another blog.

I discovered yours because of john ks blog, and ever since i did ive learning a lot from both of them.

Recently i found out i cant read johns blog anymore, and i cant keep studiying from his posts.

If theres anyway you could help me be admitted into it i would love it.

From Merida, Mexico your fan

Sergio.

Jennifer said...

Way too funny, Uncle Eddie.

In the first picture, those two look really sweet. They look like that they absolutely adore each other.

The guy in the second picture looks like he's up to something. He looks like he's about to do something really silly to bring down the house, like make bunny ears behind someone's head or pull a funny face when the camera snaps.

The lady in the fourth picture - the one wearing the white lacy dress - looks like Alice Ghostley.

Anonymous is right - you do look like an English politician in your caricature. Cue the theme for Yes, Minister...

You are definitely an artist. You were able to make a good story from each of those photographs.

Joel Brinkerhoff said...

You sir, are a romantic after my own heart.

David Germain said...

I certainly know how NOT to find that person. I hope to blog about it sometime soon.

Aaron said...

Awesome post and probably so true. Nice lil surprise at the end. lol.

Aaron said...

your welcome

Mr. Trombley said...

Dear Sir,

In a bit of madness, I've been writing bad limericks about anything that comes to mind. One of them happened to be about you. I hope you don't mind - the pleasure I take in limericking is matched only by my tin ear for poetry.

I used the caricature linked in this post as an illustration of you. If there is another picture you prefer (or if you don't want to be associated with such hack work) just post a comment and I will happily comply.

You can find the limerick here:

http://tbgloops.blogspot.com/2009/10/limericks.html

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Jennifer: I've been so busy these last few days...trying to get stuff done while shaking off a persistent flu...I'm sorry if I didn't respond adequately to things you wrote. Thanks much for the compliment!

I told John what you wrote about, and he seemed interested, but probably needs a reminder, which i'll supply. By the way, I think his blog is public again, at least for the time being!

Chip: I took down Love Nerds because everybody here believed they looked old, overly young, fat, skinny, and/or nerdy in photos, and were afraid to post.

Dubsoldier said...

This line right here:
"One of the cool things about finding the right person is that you'll have cool children, and when they grow up they'll also have cool children, so you'll have a little dynasty of coolness going for a couple of generations."
is among the coolest ideas ever presented.
Dynasty of Coolness should be copyrighted and t-shirted for the masses.
Thanks for the smiles!