HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS

I was trying to figure out what to wear on Halloween this year and it occurred to me that I should dress up as one of my own characters (above) from Theory Corner. The question is...which one?

The one I'm dying to do is The Mad Scientist (above). The problem is that I never completed his story because I couldn't find the right kind of lab coat. I'd need the long kind with a high collar and double rows of buttons going down the front. I don't see anything like that out there, so how can I dress up like him?

Here's (above) The Righteous Dude. I love this guy and dressing up like him would be easy. Ditto for the beatnik. The problem is that they're both too easy. A good costume takes risks, don't you think?

I could come as The Romance Reader, except...well, geez, that tight flannel nightgown would be hard to wear for a whole night. The one I have probably belonged to a skinny old lady who had a figure like Olive Oyl. 

  

Or maybe The Smoker's bone-crushing adversary,"Beulah (above)." I picture her wearing The Romance Reader's flannel nightgown, only a huge, padded triple X version of it. Hmmmm....I'll have to see what the local thrift store has. It took me forever to find the skinny one the romance lady wears. 

This (above) is a highly Photoshopped picture that I made for my sidebar. The nose is huge, the way John K used to draw it in caricatures. I could make a long nose and maybe attach it to glasses for stability. I might even be able to do a protruding skull in the back. I don't know if it would be comfortable to wear for a whole night, though.

 Maybe The Lone Stranger! 

Maybe I'll come as the Grand, Exalted, Imperial Muskrat of the Royal Order of the Muskrat. I'll tell you what...if anyone here lives in LA and makes a Muskrat costume of their own, send me a link to a picture of you in it and we'll have pizza together at Lido's (Dutch treat, of course). Wouldn't it be great to have group photos of all the local Muskrats doing justice to one of Lido's stringy pizzas?

I haven't posted about the muskrats in a while, so here's a reminder of what a meeting of that exalted order is like:

Of course members of the Royal Order of Raccoons Ladies' Auxiliary are invited too. To become a member you only have to show up wearing what refined middle-aged ladies of the 50s wore. Here's (below) a couple of links concerning the proper dress for both men and women. 

For men:  http://uncleeddiestheorycorner.blogspot.com/2009/10/meeting-of-royal-order-of-muskrat.html

For the ladies: http://uncleeddiestheorycorner.blogspot.com/2009/10/proper-attire-for-ladies-auxiliary.html 

WHAT ANNOYS YOU ON A DATE?

What a headache this post turned out to be! This was intended to be an easy to do parody of an article in Look magazine, but when I tried to change the captions to make them funnier everything got buggered up. Oh, well.....

BTW: I just got an interesting comment from a British actor whose internet name is "Propeler." It regards a post I put up on August 11th called, "What Is the Purpose of Acting?" Here it is:

Eddie, I am a British actor, most of my career has been with the royal Shakespeare company and I work regularly on television and film. I have had a dream career so far. I have appeared regularly in londons west end, won awards for my stage work with the rsc and acted with dame judi dench, Patrick Stewart and Ian mckellen. But, I have lost all sense of joy or purpose in it. Your piece on the purpose of acting has totally reinspired me and effectively stopped me from retiring early. The job can feel so self indulgent but you have reminded me of what is great about what we do. I thank you sincerely

Wow! I'm speechless! I don't know what to say, except that it's wonderful to know that something I said was that helpful. Many thanks Propeler for the kind words.

The post Propeller commented on: http://uncleeddiestheorycorner.blogspot.com/search? updated-max=2011-08-25T01:53:00-07:00&max-results=20

THE GIRL BODYBUILDER STORY (PART II)

SWARMS OF MUSCLE GIRLS ARRIVE AT THE PARK:

MILDRED: "Okay girls, we're here! He's bound to be around here somewhere!"

MARIGOLD: "Spread out! We'll find him!"

DAISY: "I'll hold back the train so we won't be interrupted!

FERN: "I'll look behind this planter! Nope, he's not here!"

 TULIP: "He's not up this pole!"

LILY: "He's not in this crack!"

ELVIRA: "He's not in this shed, either!

HYACINTH: "Well I don't see him anywhere. 'Looks like he gave us the slip!"

Skulking in the shadow of a wall...it's the gigolo! He just finishes putting on a girl disguise when one of the women sees him. 

VIOLET: "Wait a minute! Who are you!!??"

THE GIGOLO (IN FALSETTO): "Er...hi! Nobody here but us girls!"

GIGOLO: "I'm so glad you're here to protect poor, defenseless women like me from that horrible gigolo."

VIOLET: "Glad to help, m'am! Well, I guess we'll be heading home!"

GIGOLO: "Home, yes...definitely home!"

GIGOLO: "HAW! HAW! Those muscle girls haven't got two brain cells to rub together!"

INGRID: "Wait a minute! How did you know that we were looking for a gigolo!???"

HOW TO EAT A TANGERINE LIKE ZORBA THE GREEK

"Hi everybody! here's a quick tutorial on how to eat a tangerine like Zorba the Greek!  You remember Zorba don't you? He was the Greek guy in the book and the film who really knew how to live! Zorba had a passion for the moment!"

"Begin the way Zorba would, by smelling the fruit.  Even the skin of a tangerine is fragrant!  Notice the little lunar bumps and valleys. This is the way your skin looks to a flea!"

Don't just peel the tangerine...violate it!  Risk going to jail over it!  Be Zorba the Greek!  Rip that little sucker apart!

"Oops! I forgot about the strings! Isn't life always like that? Just when you're having fun you discover the strings!"

"Well, there's nothing for it but to let the strings fall willy-nilly to the ground.  Don't be a dweeb and put them in the wastebasket.  Zorba rips his fruit and doesn't worry about the consequences!"

"Now lovingly apply the fruit to the tongue.  Tomorrow everybody on the net will have photoshopped a penis into this picture, but I include it anyway, because I like the angle."

"Ooooh! Feel the flavor burst out of the little flavor sacks! That's the taste of liquid sunshine!"

"Feel the citric acid burn your mouth!"

"Man! That's good!"

"Huh....?"

"OK, there's seeds!  No big deal!"

"Yummy!"

"OK, there's even more seeds. Actually they never end.  Every tangerine has more seeds than the total volume of the fruit.  It's a mystery.  Don't try to understand it."

"What would Zorba do with the seeds?"

"Now, you may have noticed that by this time your fingers have gotten pretty sticky."

"Zorba would have just wiped his hands on somebody's sleeve,  but I have a six month-old restaurant towelette, so I think I'll use that."

"Rip it open with gusto...."

"...and marvel at how they manage to compress a whole wet towel into a small space like that."

"Smell the exotic perfume. How many camels in how many caravans were necessary to bring this precious scent to the West?"


"Now wipe the fingers, taking care not to miss a single spot." 

"Amazing! It's just a little Beatrix Potter-size towel but it gets the job done."

"Well, that's it! Join us next week when we eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich Michael Eisner-style."