Wednesday, November 15, 2006

A 100% EFFECTIVE WAY OF FINDING LOST THINGS

Occassionally I or a friend discover what I consider a universal law and now that I have a blog I'm anxious to share these discoveries. To kick it off I'm going to share one of the very greatest of all universal laws, one that was told to me by Vincent waller. Here it is....

"YOU CAN NEVER FIND A REALLY IMPORTANT LOST ITEM UNTILL YOU PUBLICLY ACCUSE AN INNOCENT PERSON OF STEALING IT!"

I don't think it's necessary to support this with argument. Anyone who's tried it knows that this is true. It's especially effective if the accused person is a good friend who's done nothing but good for you.

27 comments:

Marlo Meekins said...

i left my cell phone at foxy's a few days ago, and the waiters there started calling random people on my phone in order to find me. exboyfriends and stuff probably. hahahhaa

James said...

I should blame people for stealing my sanity in hopes that it'll come back. Then again that might slip me into the opposite direction.

Phil Walton said...

You can also never find a lost socket wrench, expensive mechanical pencil, wristwatch or other expensive small item until you buy a new one.

xtracrsP said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

No. Ask any religious person: the purpose of deity is to find lost stuff. When you lose your keys f'rinstance, just pray and there they will be.
I think it's in the bible somewhere.

Anonymous said...

what is your opinion of Glen Keanes work Eddie? I think his stuff is solid and ive heard him called the best animator alive

Jennifer said...

Uncle Eddie, although your initial theory is true, you also have to append the following to your theory: "...or when you don't need it anymore."

I needed a copy of my transcripts one day. I searched high and low for my copy and I couldn't find it. I went through the hassle of getting another copy of my transcripts and paying a fee to get it. Guess what turned up nearly 3 months later, when I didn't need it anymore? You guessed it - the transcripts!

S.G.A said...

funny,

Kali Fontecchio said...

Ha!

Vincent Waller said...

Jennifer,
next time, accuse first. I promise the item will turn up so quickly your head will whirl.
It even works when I stipulate to the person before I accuse them that I know they aren't the thief.

Anonymous said...

Glen Keane is the love child of Ollie Johnson and Bill Tytla.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Anonymous: I'll post about Glen Keane sometime soon!

Jorge Garrido said...

Vince and Eddie, unfortunately, this doesn't work 100%. I borrowed my pal's Clone Wars cartoon DVD on Saturday, and when I looked in the box, the disc wasn't in the box! I don't remember if the disc was even there when I borrowed it, and since it was his and he lives two hours away, I can't just accuse someone of stealing it since I never saw it. Also, if I DID bring it and I call him asking if I did, he'll know I lost it. If he forgot to give me the disc inside the case I'll never know since I'm playing russian roulette asking him!

This blog is better than any advice column. It's much more specific.

>Anonymous: I'll post about Glen Keane sometime soon!

I can't imagine what you'll write.

Anonymous said...

This is quite similar, but I don't know how to draw the parallel, except maybe "a 100% way to ditch a sister."
1. Take your 95 year old mother into your house because you work at home and are present most of the time. Your only sibling, a sister, is effusive in her gratitude and willing to help out at any time, including taking Mom to her house when you want to go to NY to visit your kids. "Any time. Any time."
2. Life intrudes. People got weddings, baptisms, funerals, brises(?), holidays, getaway weekends, important parties to go to. They can't be bothered watching 95 year old granny. "Jesis, I got a life, y'know!"
3. You accuse you sibling, with whom you were very close for 50+ years, of "not pulling her load."
4. No more sibling.
The conundrum: is this good or bad?

LFW said...

Jeez! there is always so much good, rock solid advice here on this blog. I think this law is a very well known one, but people just havn't acknowledged it as a whole.

Also, a slight alternative to it that other people have mentioned "the only way you can find something you've lost is to stop looking for it." a bit weird, I know, but these things are TRUE.

cheers

your fan

-LFW

Jorge Garrido said...

Eddie, do you ever use your theories for evil? I mean, I can forgive it if you actaully used your "perfect murder" idea to kill someone, but what if you had a theory that allowed you to bypass waiting rooms in hospitals? I could never read your blog the same way again!

Robo Cookie said...

i lost a boy i liked to a girl that was completely innocent and i think if i blamed her she would laugh at me and i would feel like a fool. but i'm not sure this case works for this theory.

Max Ward said...

Glen Keane? I'd like to hear a story you have dealing with Glen Keane. Not that I am particularly a fan of him, but an Eddie story dealing with Glen Keane has to be great.

cartooncrank said...

Anonymous (The one with the 95 year old mother):

Simply accuse your Mother of stealing your sister and she'll reappear!

At least that's what I take away from today's lesson.

Anonymous said...

I think this technically fits under Murphy's law. Although it is so broad law that it includes pretty much everything.

James said...

This reminds of what my mother use to tell me as a kid when I lost things: "Did Check the last place you put it? It might be there." That always confused me...

Anonymous said...

I've known people who'd lose things on purpose just to keep their life interesting. It would give them something to complain about later.

I also had a friend who frequently misplaced things. Whenever he really needed something that he had misplaced he'd become upset and start questioning everybody on it's whereabouts. When he'd end up finding it, he'd feel very guilty (for being so pushy), he'd just end up giving it away or he'd try to avoid the object. I guess because the guilt of having it there as a reminder would just eat at him so much.
It was fascinating to watch but very irritating.
Oh well.

Gabriel said...

I had figured this law out too! Fortunately i never had lost something so precious that I'd even think about using it. About it fitting under Murphy's Law, I guess it's true. Maybe you have some considerations about Murphy's law to share with us Eddie. For example, why is it that it only applies to humans? Why are animals so darn lucky? Dogs and cats are always crossing the streets around here and they cause huge traffic accidents that hurts everyone involved except themselves. And predator animals have to work really hard for the food, because as stupid as it is the food manages to escape most of the time!

Spizzerinktum said...

So true!

I've also found that if you accuse some innocent person of the grisley murder of a loved one and he's prosecuted and found guilty and put on Death Row, seconds after they throw the Big Switch, your presumed-murdered Wirehaired Dachshund completes his arduous dig-out from that mean neighbor's fallout shelter and races joyfully to your open arms. How embarrassing!

WIL said...

You get extra points if you blame a minority - believe me, I know!

Shitbitch said...

What if you lose your wallet, then find it at the lost-&-found, but then your money is missing?

The Gaber's Sketchblog said...

You stole my virginity EDDIE!!