Thursday, January 10, 2013

DINNER AT THE BAD SEED'S HOUSE

THE BAD SEED: "Dinner's almost ready, Uncle Eddie."


THE BAD SEED: "Mom said I should remind you in case you forgot the time."


UNCLE EDDIE: "Heh, heh. Well, I'm not likely to forget the time, my dear."


UNCLE EDDIE: "You see, I'm wearing the SEIKO ROYAL MARINER / MARK V!"

UNCLE EDDIE: "This baby is synced to quantum fluctuations in the barium atom. When Greenwich wants the time, they call me!"


THE BAD SEED: "Really? You mean it's better than my Ren and Stimpy watch?"


UNCLE EDDIE: "Heh, heh. Let's just say that my watch's battery won't need replacement til the entropic death of the universe. The crystal was carried from Patagonia on the backs of perfumed donkeys with velvet booties." 


THE BAD SEED: "Does it have a beepy wake-up alarm like my watch?"


UNCLE EDDIE: "Sure! It's the Berlin Philharmonic in Dolby Surround Sound."


THE BAD SEED: "Is it water-resistant like my watch?"

UNCLE EDDIE: "It'll last a decade on the bottom of the Marianas Trench."


UNCLE EDDIE: "And did I mention the carbon fiber hour hands with inlaid mother of pearl? No?"


UNCLE EDDIE: "Or did I mention the watch band? Did I mention that it's made from flogged bumble bees that were humiliated under the full moon on humid, cricket-filled plains?"


UNCLE EDDIE: Yessir...I do like my little watch!"


UNCLE EDDIE (VO): "You'd just about have to kill me to get it away from me."





13 comments:

zillustration said...

"perfumed donkeys with velvet booties."
Funniest line I've read all week! :>

Anonymous said...

hey eddie, sad french guy here, very funny story, alway cheer me up !

Anonymous said...

Heh. The Bad Seed.

Joel Brinkerhoff said...

HA! I hope this is going to be continued. Thanks for a great start to my day.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Zillustration, Anon, Anon: Thanks!

Joel: The Bad Seed is an iconic character like Frankenstein or Dracula. She does deserve more exposure than she gets.

I'd like to find out who wrote the original. Did it start as a book or a play?

Joel Brinkerhoff said...

The movie is based on a stage play by Maxwell Anderson. This 1956 film adaptation stars many actors from the Broadway version, including Nancy Kelly, Patty McCormack, Henry Jones and Eileen Heckart.

Anonymous said...

I discover this classic ! sort of Village of the Damned but a "spanky" version

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Joel: Thanks for the info! When I looked up Anderson I discovered that he adapted the play from a book by William...er, William....Drat! I forget the name. Anyway, there is a pre-existing novel. I ordered it from the library.

BTW: I read that the movie didn't do very well when it was released. Can you believe that? Sometimes audiences deserve to be slapped.

Joel Brinkerhoff said...

You were right, it was William Marchs' last novel. The Bad Seed, was published in 1954 and became a bestseller, but March died in that same year, before he could see the novel adapted first for the stage and then for the movies.

Jennifer said...

ha ha ha! She told you, Uncle Eddie! :)

Good story.

John A said...

The Movie didn't do as well as the more successful Broadway play probably because they were forced to water down the script and change the original creepy ending with something less satisfying.

I've read and seen the play before and I've seen the movie many times. It's more fun to watch the stage play.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Joel. John A: I just got the book from the library. It doesn't look as good as the screenplay. I imagine that Anderson's play probably improved the book, too.

If I'm right that doesn't detract from March's reputation. If I wrote a good book I'd be delighted to see if the best rewrire people could make it even better.

Eddie Fitzgerald said...

Joel. John A: I just got the book from the library. It doesn't look as good as the screenplay. I imagine that Anderson's play probably improved the book, too.

If I'm right that doesn't detract from March's reputation. If I wrote a good book I'd be delighted to see if the best rewrire people could make it even better.