STAGE DESIGN

This is too big a subject to cover in one post but I can still put up some pretty pictures. My interest in stage design comes from being blown away by the sets (or the influence of sets) in cartoons like "What's Opera, Doc?" and animated features like "Fantasia" and "Alice in Wonderland." The backdrop above is from "Guys and Dolls" (1950) but it also looks a lot like the street outside the stadium in "Baseball Bugs." Animation is full of theatrical influence.

Guys and Dolls was famous for its backdrops. Here's (above) a moody sketch of the sewer where the crap game took place. The designer made it seem immense, important and mysterious, like the interior of a cathedral.

I also like the sketches generated by theatrical costume designers. I say "sketches" because the real clothing seldom looks as good as the sketch it was derived from.

Set design went through a lot of drastic changes in the last 100 years. Here's a Russian design from the years immediately after the revolution. The chair in the middle gives us the scale. Russian modernists were incredibly inventive but their efforts came to an end almost overnight when Lenin decided that he preferred realism.

I'm not a fan of Hockney's swimming pool paintings but his stage design is interesting. Forget the simplistic vertical curtains in the design above. Look instead at the way he uses the orchestra pit as a set design element. He paints the floor white so the standing musicians in black look like sticks or spikes. In another picture (unseen) he blackens the floor so the black musicians are invisible then he puts bright red caps on them. In yet another one he underlights the musicians so they look like zombies. Nifty, huh?

ANOTHER APOLOGY TO MIKE

I feel so bad! Mike is a wonderful host (I should know, I've been sponging off him for eons) and here I've gone and told the world that he's cheap and lives in a trailer park. Really, that's a terrible thing to do to a friend.

I don't have the words to express my sorrow so I thought I would read from book that puts into words some of what I feel. It's a childrens' book and the protaginist even looks like Mike. I'll just scan it in. It's named for the dog in the story: "Poohul."

Once upon a time there was a generous host named Mr. Michael. He loved to bake cakes and pies for the many guests he invited to his beautiful house.

Whatever the guests couldn't eat they took home in buldging doggie bags. "What a friend!" they all said, "Hoorah for Mr. Michael!"

What a shock then, when they discovered that a sleazey internet artist had accused Mr. Michael of being cheap! "He says Mr. Michael never has toilet paper for his guests! That's not true," said one outraged neighbor, "He almost always has toilet paper! And he's so generous with his pies! Who would print such a thing!?"

Who indeed? It was none other than "Uncle Bucktooth," a disgruntled guest who didn't like Mr. Michael's pretzels.

Now it so happened that Mr. Michael had a poodle named Poohul. Poohul was very upset by the slander his master had received. Not even a bath could calm him down.

"I'm gonna kick that guy's butt!" said Poohul.

And he did! Passers-by said it was the most gruesome beating they'd ever seen. Poohul acted rashley, they agreed, but all seemed to feel that Uncle Bucktooth had it coming.

A couple of months later when the heat had died down Poohul emerged from hiding.

The two friends were re-united and they danced and danced the whole night through. Poohul even wore womens' clothing! They were very, very happy, and lived happily...you guessed it... ever after!

The End.

APOLOGY TO MIKE

I just got a call from Mike Fontanelli who was very upset that my previous posts made me appear him appear lowbrow. Gee, I feel terrible. I certainly didn't mean to give offence. By way of making up for it I'd like to invite everyone here to a party in honor of Mike. It can be at my house or his house, whichever he prefers.

Directions to my house: park near the wall (above); don't worry about your car, the valet will take care of it.

You'll be met at the gate by my butler Bam Bam who will take you to the house on a scooter.

It's a small house. You won't have trouble finding your way around.

Here's my household staff clowning around with a neighbor. Feel free to ask for anything you want.

Why not take a dip in the pool? When you're finished you'll find helpful staffers ready to dry you off by giving you a group hug in their terry-cloth bikinis.

Maybe Mike will want to hold the party at his place! Directions: hang a right at the Bail Bond place and it's the last trailer on the left. Lock your door securely; you might want to leave a guard dog inside. Try not to step on anything rusty.

Have a seat anywhere. Mike isn't a stickler on formality.


Mike's maid will probably be there. Ask for anything you need. Mike is usually well-stocked with Pez but you might want to bring your own toilet paper.

Well, that's it! It makes me feel good inside that I can do a good deed for a friend!

CARTOONING'S "GREAT EXTINCTION"

I've heard that geologists believe there were at least two great extinctions on Earth, one caused by an asteroid collision and the other by a volcano. I believe I can point to a third one, one that decimated funny cartoonists in the late 1920s and early 30s.

Don't believe me? Look at Lantz's Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (above) which I assume is close to the design Disney used when he invented the character in the 20s. It's a bit flat but it has guts and looks like it can sustain comedy. I can imagine this guy putting a hot iron in his girlfriend's underpants.

Here's (above) the same character years down the line. It's overdrawn, grotesque and definitely not funny. I can't even imagine pulling off a gag with a character like this. John thinks the studio mindlessly shot itself in the foot by attempting to copy Disney. Steve Worth thinks Lantz might have been a victim of his own success. Maybe he had so much work to get out that he had to hire a lot of unfunny people.

Here's (above) another version which is cuter and more appealing. You can do some gags with a character like this but only some. The design emphasizes charcter and dimensional animation possibilities, not comedy. This was the era of the Great Extinction. If you were funny and worked at one of the big cartoon studios then you probably kept your jokes to yourself... that is, until Tex and Clampett came along.

Print media underwent a similar extinction. Opper (above) was doing funny cartoons in 1903. Somewhere in the 20s a lot of the Opper-types were weeded out and a new species replaced them (below)...

...the designers! One of the best designers was George McManus (that's his strip above). His stuff is beautifully drawn but it's not exactly funny. Mc Manus could be hilarious when he wanted to be but during The Great Extinction funny artists had to keep a low profile. Exceptions can be found: Milt Gross, Segar, Goldberg and De Beck; nevertheless, open any newspaper cartoon anthology from this period and you'll have to look hard for the practitioners of funny.

Eventually the writers (including artist/writers) took over. Little Orphan Annie (above) had so much dialogue that the charcters must have become stoop-shouldered. Newspaper strips of this era were READ, just like a novel. Eventually a counter-revolution was mounted but that's another story. The Great Extinction in print media raged for decades and it's still with us, even today.

BEATNIK POETRY

Sorry to put up more YouTube videos. I really am overdoing it. I'll return to mostly print, I promise. Anyway, here's the poem that opens up the film, "Trainspotting." It's actually a good poem, or at least it seems that way when given the star treatment that the filmmaker gave it. Technically it's a punk poem rather than a beatnik poem but the beatnik pedigree is pretty obvious when you hear it.





This is an awful poem but it's too funny to exclude. Were beatniks really like this?

TWO OF MY FAVORITE MOZART ARIAS

OK, OK, I know cartoonists hate opera but you can't hate ALL opera, that doesn't make sense. What's there not to like in this beautiful song by Mozart, "Voi Che Sapete?" I love songs that make an argument, as this song does. With a little time I might be able to articulate what that argument is. Reading the lyrics will probably be slight help. The content of musical argument usually has more to do with subtext than with formal story points.

Too bad YouTube didn't have Elizabeth Schwarzkopff's version of this song.





This (above) is from Ingmar Bergman's version of "Magic Flute." It's not the best aria in the film, that would have been the one that's sung earlier in the story when the queen is first introduced to the knight, but this is still pretty good.

Radical feminists hate this song because it portrays the heroine's mother as crazy, or at least lacking balance, and sets up the case that the father would be a more fit guardian for the daughter because he's more...what's the word...philosophical. I'm not taking sides here, you be the judge!

WELCOME TO THE MIKE PLAYHOUSE

Tonight Theory Corner relinquishes its bandwidth to my friend Mike's TV show, also called Mike's Philoprogenetive Playhouse. Here you'll encounter the celebrity artist's fav actors, musicians and lechable women. First on the bill (above): Spike Jones with Perez Prado.

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Mike's a big Soupy Sales fan. Here's (above) an excerpt from the famous early 60s kids'show.




Hang on because it starts to get weird here. Mike is a big Sophia Loren fan. He watches the films endlessly, waiting for the nude scenes which, in the era these films were made in, never came. I have to admit Sophia looks pretty good here.





Now things REALLY get weird! Here's Annette Funicello (above) singing "Lonely Guitar, There is No One to Love Us." Mike drools rivers over Annette and probably cries over songs like this one.




Here's another Annette film called something like "Swingin' Pajama Party." Actually Mike isn't in love with the Mouseketeer Annette but rather the older Annette shown here. I don't get it. Annette was a cute kid, no doubt about it, but she didn't age well. I can speak candidly about this because I'm safe at home at my computer. If I said this infront of Mike who knows what would happen?




Last but not least, a sample of the awesome (according to Mike) acting ability of Shirley Temple. I saw "Heidi" with Mike and had to endure endless tear-filled replays of Shirley returning grumpy old men's vitriol with sweet, little moppet charm. Now if only Shirley had sung "Lonely Guitar..."

YOUR NEXT BACKYARD PROJECT

Isn't it beautiful!? I've had this picture for years but I can't remember where I got it. I think it's a detail of a Mayan wall. If anybody out there is about to undertake some brickwork, I recommend that they throw out their plans and redraw them to incorporate this.

Of course this probably requires a stone mason at a trillion dollars an hour.

FASCINATING WOMEN

Above, Edith Piaff. When will we see her like again?




Jeanne Moreau, infinitely charming.




Marlene Deitrich. I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't like this song.





Billie Holiday singing "Strange Fruit." John K turned me onto this.





My namesake, Ella Fitzgerald!

IT'S EASIER TO WRITE FUNNY

You often hear animation writers complain that there was no time to make a story funny. Well, that happens sometimes, no doubt about it. I sympathize. The question needs to be asked though, "Why were the stories so unfunny when you did have time?" I imagine that this is an unanswerable question. Animation writers believe there's never enough time.


On the other hand, maybe they're right. The kind of shows they come up with defy funny writing. How do you come up with a laugh-out-loud funny story for a typical writers' series premise like: "Six grade school friends (the skateboarder dude, the minority computer whiz, the perky intelligent girl, the over-eater, the inventer and the beautiful Bratz-type girl) solve problems in the school by making their fellow students aware of the importance of being themselves"? Is it even possible to write a funny story for a premise like that?


I do have advice for writers (hopefully artist/writers) who are lucky enough to work on short cartoon projects where humor is at least possible. If you need to write quickly then:


BUILD YOUR STORY AROUND A FUNNY SITUATION.


One character accidentally sits on another's hat and crushes it. He tries to apologize but the situation strikes him as so funny that he laughs instead. Believing the first guy is unrepentant the owner of the hat grabs a pair of scissors and cuts the other's tie in half, The two retaliate against each other in ever escalating steps till they're demolishing each other's houses. That's a funny situation, stolen from Laurel and Hardy. "King Size Canary" was about a funny situation. Funny situations are easier to write than plots, and they can easily be extended into stories. All you have to do is figure out how to get your characters into the situation and that's easy.


What some writers don't realize is that comedy isn't there just to get a laugh...


COMEDY IS AN ORGANIZING TOOL.


If you commit to writing a funny cartoon it's amazing how many story structure problems just vanish. In the example above the set-up is obvious: two friends meet in a kitchen and declare their undying affection for each other, an affection that would surely stand up to any test, no matter what. They then proceed to wreck each other over an accidentally crushed hat. If you have a good situation (sketch) idea the set-up practically writes itself.


In other words...

YOU CAN WRITE FASTER BY COMMITTING TO COMEDY.

A funny series premise is easier and faster to write for than an unfunny one. Complicated, writerly series premises are inefficient. They cost more to make and they're harder to write for.


BTW, I don't mean to imply that all stories should be written exactly the way I described here. There are lots of ways to go.

THE MOST NAKED COUNTRY IN EUROPE

In my Theory Corner opinion the most naked women in all of Europe are to be found in Scotland. Are they the prettiest over all? Who knows?  What I do know is that in at least one, narrow area they shine, namely that they're the most astonishingly naked women in Europe, i.e., they're the sexiest without clothes.

Every other European nationality can only lay claim to "National Geographic" nudity, which is somehow chaste and wholesome. Only Scottswomen, who live in a damp, bleak and overcast country, and whose excrutiatingly delicate skin rarely sees the sun, can claim nudity which is gloriously filthy and dirty.

Why aren't Scotswomen more sought-after by men?

Because they come attached to this (above): the mean, ornery, Goth skinhead of a Scottish brother. How'd you like to have this guy trailing behind you on a date?

Scottish women often have freckles, which is shockingly sexy. Your eyes follow the path of the freckles down the cheek to the neck, and down the neck to...well, you know.

Surprisingly, Scottish women hate having freckles and do everything they can to cover them up. Here are before and after pictures showing the so-called "improvement." Which do you prefer?

YOUR GREAT, GREAT GRANDCHILD'S HOUSE: 2200 A.D.

Here's my best guess as to how your family will be housed two hundred years from now. Your successors will live in a tropical jungle populated by beautiful exotic plants and animals. Their weather-proof furniture will be arranged in clusters near tree trunks, ponds and waterfalls. No rain will fall on the house area if your family doesn't want it to. No bad weather unless your family desires it. Tame leopards, monkeys and beautiful birds will play in the livingroom.

The way I see it, walls won't be needed to keep out bad weather. Surely two hundred years from now there'll be devices that can keep an exposed area warm and dry, even in the middle of a storm. Walls won't even be needed for privacy since the air around the rooms can probably be made opaque or luminous depending on what the owner chooses. Most of the plants in the area will be real but maybe your family's walls will be holographic images of plants. I wouldn't be surprised if the paths and roadways leading to homes disappeared into faux holo-plants. Confronted with the dense wall of plants the owner would simply walk through them till he found himself inside the house.

I wonder if hard living structures will even exist in the future. If security and shelter can be had without hard walls and a roof would anyone still choose to live that way? If they do I predict the architects of the future will ransack the past for ideas based on real, historic structures. I wouldn't be surprised if some people decided to live in homes that looked like Thai temples or Italian villas.

My guess is that most people would want to live in newly-grown tropical rainforests but some will no doubt prefer the look of dense, temperate zone evergreens or Arizona-type deserts. I assume that plants of any type will be made to thrive anywhere our successors choose to plant them. Of course it's possible that people will live and work in virtual-reality cities that we can't even imagine. Maybe our successors will choose to imagine themselves as intelligent fish living in a coral reef or ants in an ant hill. The limitless possibilities of virtual reality make this kind of speculation difficult.

FAMOUS FILM SCENES

The Oddessa Steps sequence (above)from "Battleship Potemkin." Maybe the most influential film clip in the history of cinema. It awakens everybody who sees it to the power of editing.




Leni Reifenstahl's 1936 footage of divers at the 1936 Berlin Olympics. Once again, the power of editing.




Orson Welles'famous uninterrupted scene from the start of "Touch of Evil".





A trailer for Godard's "Breathless". Godard may have been a flake in his personal life but he sure could cut film.

SCREAMIN JAY HAWKINS, BO DIDDLEY, "DEM BONES". THE PLATTERS

Here's Screamin' Jay Hawkins doing "I Put a Spell on You". Hawkins' true love was ballads, the kind Jim Nabors used to sing.




One of Bo Diddley's best songs. Ralph used it in "Fritz the Cat".





Not the best version of "Dem Bones", but it's still interesting. I imagine this is the universal anthemn of doctors all over the world.





The Platters doing "Great Pretender". Silky smoothe and satisfying!

JITTERBUG, TAP & BOOGIE WOOGIE

I hope you weren't working on anything important when you stumbled on this site because there's no way you're going to finish what you were doing now!

The first video (above) is a jitterbug sequence from "Hellzapoppin'". Some say it's the best jitterbug ever captured on film.





Next is a tap number by the Nicholas Brothers from "Stormy Weather." The original uploader quotes Fred Astaire as saying that he's never seen a finer tap dance on film. A few years ago I recognized Fayard Nicholas in a theater and foolishly asked for his autograph. I say foolishly because Fayard was in what looked like his late 90s and it took him 15 or 20 minutes to painstakingly write his name. I felt terrible for putting him to the trouble.




Classic Boogie Woogie!





Classic Fats Waller, including the kind of mugging to the camera that inspired Clampett and Rudy Ising...or was it Harmon? I'm always confusing the two.

A word of thanks to John K who introduced me to these singers and dancers long ago and who has impeccable taste in these matters!

THE CAMPFIRE STANDARD

In addition to whatever way the dictionary defines story, a story worth its name is something worth telling and worth listening to. It's so compelling that you just have to tell your friends about it. It's so evocative that it feeds your imagination for weeks or even months after hearing it. Whenever I think about story I imagine indians sitting in rapt attention around a campfire listening to a charismatic storyteller. It seems to me that if a story isn't fit to tell at a campfire then it's just information and belongs in a file cabinet somewhere. It certainly has no place in the entertainment industry.


Imagine trying to tell modern TV animation stories around a campfire, stories like: a little boy tries to pass himself off as something he's not, gets in over his head and learns the value of being himself. A little girl snubs a poor classmate for wearing unfashionable clothes then the poor classmate does a favor for the richer girl and the two become friends. Really, who wants to hear that? Imagine trying to tell stuff like that to a bunch of story-hungry indians. They'd just stare at you. What the indians want to hear is something like: "There I was, backed up against the tree with six drooling wolves moving in for the kill..." You know that's what indians want to hear because that's what everybody wants to hear. Anything else is just wasting our time.



Now I know that cartoon comedy isn't likely to drum up the particular type of excitement generated by viscious wolves but it ought to be an equivalent excitement. Just like the wolf story it should rivet listeners to their seats and should make them want to retell the story to friends. That's the way I felt when I saw John K's shower room sequence in "Naked Beach Frenzy" and Ren's mad scene in "Space Madness." I don't think John would have any problem entertaining indians around a campfire. We need more storytellers like that.

PETER COOK

If you haven't seen Peter Cook then I'm envious. That means you'll be seeing him here for the first time. I only wish I could turn the clock back and see all this for the first time! Enjoy!

"A SEASONAL PLACE"

I'll bet I'll regret publishing these sketches. The drawing and acting sucks, the characters look different in every panel, mis-spelled words...it's a mess! The only reason I'm putting it up is because I know that if I put it in a desk drawer to rework another day, it'll never get done. Besides, if I don't post this then I'll be left without anything to put up tonight. OK, so here it is, flaws and all......"A Seasonal Place."